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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect a lift from the airport at 4am when someone is passing near my area?

238 replies

Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 22:51

Hi all. This is my first time posting so forgive me if it’s in the wrong place or I miss something! I’m just back from a vacation with a friend. We did 10 days at an all inclusive resort in Spain. For the entire trip (pretty much from the beginning) I got the vibe she didn’t want to be there. She complained about the sun, heat etc (it was Spain in July) and I understand that as it was hot of course. But she was annoyed when I wanted to enjoy some sun by the pool and read my books. So I offered to do stuff during the day and she’d snap and say no way how silly was that in the hottest part of the day etc. I asked her to rub sun cream on my back as I’d done for her and she’d sigh and roll her eyes etc that she had to go through the effort of moving to do so. In addition she had insisted on sharing a room for costs. She told that she didn’t snore. The reality was she snores horribly loudly. She fell asleep instantly and snored with unbearable volume for the whole night. I was chronically sleep deprived and it was really frustrating after paying so much for the trip.

I felt I was constantly accommodating her and she was doing the same back. I saw flash up on her phone when she was sitting beside me and she was texting her mom about me and said I was ‘too fussy and she didn’t like it’ and obviously lots more that I couldn’t see. She also slagged me off for not liking big crowds but she knew that before we went and I didn’t think she’d mock me for it as I had confided in her. She also snapped at me about a meal we had split the bill for , as she said her meal only cost whatever amount. I felt this was unfair as I’d been quite generous with buying us drinks etc on the holiday and hadn’t asked for anything back.

She had a lift home from the airport from her mom. the flight was very late (landed at 4am after a long delay). I waited with her in the terminal so she wouldn’t be standing alone. When her mother arrived she barely acknowledged me- no asking did you have a good trip, how was the flight etc. Instead of offering a lift as I live along their route home, I was left head towards taxis. As a woman at 4am with the steps of airport inky blank in darkness and deserted. I’d know her mother quite well but she was horribly cold to me and said : ‘you take care now’ in such a dismissive tone as though as I was somehow in the wrong.

I literally spent my holiday placating her and trying to help her enjoy it and cope better with the heat etc. So down I walked to my taxi with tears in my eyes. It’s hard to describe but nobody has ever made me feel that small before. To add insult to injury, they didn’t wait with me for a taxi even though I’d waited for her lift to arrive. There was no text from my friend at all to say did you get home safe. In the end I was waiting two hours for a taxi and it cost me just under 100 euro to get home. AIBU to think a lift home from the airport could have been offered to me?

I’d have given petrol money of course. Only last week I gave her a lovely gift for her bday (even though I got none for mine) and gave her mom a bottle of expensive wine for hosting the party too. I was never thanked for either gift. I just feel so upset over what’s happened and I actually blocked them both on what’s app as I’m just sickened by it all right now. Surely for her mom to treat me so horribly- she was telling lies that I wasn't being nice on the holiday or something? Whereas the opposite is true I was so nice and supportive of her needs as I hate conflict and didn’t want any tension. Sorry I’m going off topic! and I’m sorry if it’s too long it’s my first post!! Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

OP posts:
Lis1992 · 24/07/2022 21:17

@Blondeshavemorefun yeah that’s my plan- IUI through sperm donation. I posted about it in another thread. Thanks for sharing that. Do you mind me asking what she your friend chose to go ahead with it at? It’s so hard to find others who have been though the process. I follow a few woman on Instagram on various stages of their journey!

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 24/07/2022 23:19

Why did she go ahead with it ? Is that what you mean

she got to 40 and failed relationships and no kids

and wanted to be a mum

so did it alone

fUNNYfACE36 · 24/07/2022 23:45

Lis1992 · 24/07/2022 18:58

@fUNNYfACE36 No actually- I do drive. I didn’t drive to the airport because I don’t sleep well before flights and I’m responsible enough not to drive tired.

I think uou are very entitled.Everybody, yoyr friends mum included is going to be very tired doing an airport run at 4am!!

Meraas · 25/07/2022 01:48

fUNNYfACE36 · 24/07/2022 23:45

I think uou are very entitled.Everybody, yoyr friends mum included is going to be very tired doing an airport run at 4am!!

@fUNNYfACE36 and I suppose if OP had parked at the airport, she should have given the other girl a life home?

Oriunda · 25/07/2022 08:31

YABU to be upset your friend didn't rub cream into your back! I'd gave refused. I'm a non hugger/kisser (only boon of Covid) and it would have made me feel extremely uncomfortable doing that to anyone I was not intimate with.

I'd have discussed transport options with my friend before we left on holiday; if she wasn't forthcoming or flaky about that I would have gone ahead and prebooked a taxi. Taxis follow the flight numbers, so delays shouldn't have been an issue.

It sounds like both of you didn't communicate very well and your holiday plans weren't compatible.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2022 09:50

"YABU to be upset your friend didn't rub cream into your back! I'd gave refused. I'm a non hugger/kisser (only boon of Covid) and it would have made me feel extremely uncomfortable doing that to anyone I was not intimate with."

Yes, me too. Get a spray for the bits you can't reach.

Meraas · 25/07/2022 10:23

@Oriunda @Gwenhwyfar you both seem to have missed the fact that the ‘friend’ had OP rub cream in her own back. The reason she refused to do the same for OP was she didn’t want to move.

Lis1992 · 25/07/2022 17:23

@Blondeshavemorefun no I didn’t mean why. I just wondered what age she was as I’m currently deciding whether to give it one or two years. Best of luck to her

OP posts:
Lis1992 · 25/07/2022 17:25

@Oriunda ah come off that one. There were numerous groups of friends at the pool all of who were putting sun cream on each other’s backs. Nothing intimate about it . She asked me
numerous times to apply to her back; the issue here was that she had to move to do the same for me not the sun cream!

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 25/07/2022 18:56

@Lis1992 how old are you ? 30 if user name is apt

she was 40. 3 failed relationships and didn’t went to wait for me right

she actually did meet someone a year ago , hasn’t moved in yet but he’s an active part in her child’s life

user29 · 25/07/2022 22:27

Meraas · 25/07/2022 01:48

@fUNNYfACE36 and I suppose if OP had parked at the airport, she should have given the other girl a life home?

i didnt say that

ginghamstarfish · 09/06/2023 10:01

You're well rid of both of them OP. I once had a holiday like that with a 'friend' who was more of an acquaintance really, and we didn't have a very good time! Your 'friend' sounds like a selfish cow, so don't give her another thought and hope you find better friends to spend your time with.

Indigodreaming · 09/06/2023 11:43

ginghamstarfish · 09/06/2023 10:01

You're well rid of both of them OP. I once had a holiday like that with a 'friend' who was more of an acquaintance really, and we didn't have a very good time! Your 'friend' sounds like a selfish cow, so don't give her another thought and hope you find better friends to spend your time with.

Bit of a zombie there

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