AIBU to expect a lift from the airport at 4am when someone is passing near my area?

[Lis1992]

Hi all. This is my first time posting so forgive me if it’s in the wrong place or I miss something! I’m just back from a vacation with a friend. We did 10 days at an all inclusive resort in Spain. For the entire trip (pretty much from the beginning) I got the vibe she didn’t want to be there. She complained about the sun, heat etc (it was Spain in July) and I understand that as it was hot of course. But she was annoyed when I wanted to enjoy some sun by the pool and read my books. So I offered to do stuff during the day and she’d snap and say no way how silly was that in the hottest part of the day etc. I asked her to rub sun cream on my back as I’d done for her and she’d sigh and roll her eyes etc that she had to go through the effort of moving to do so. In addition she had insisted on sharing a room for costs. She told that she didn’t snore. The reality was she snores horribly loudly. She fell asleep instantly and snored with unbearable volume for the whole night. I was chronically sleep deprived and it was really frustrating after paying so much for the trip.

I felt I was constantly accommodating her and she was doing the same back. I saw flash up on her phone when she was sitting beside me and she was texting her mom about me and said I was ‘too fussy and she didn’t like it’ and obviously lots more that I couldn’t see. She also slagged me off for not liking big crowds but she knew that before we went and I didn’t think she’d mock me for it as I had confided in her. She also snapped at me about a meal we had split the bill for , as she said her meal only cost whatever amount. I felt this was unfair as I’d been quite generous with buying us drinks etc on the holiday and hadn’t asked for anything back.

She had a lift home from the airport from her mom. the flight was very late (landed at 4am after a long delay). I waited with her in the terminal so she wouldn’t be standing alone. When her mother arrived she barely acknowledged me- no asking did you have a good trip, how was the flight etc. Instead of offering a lift as I live along their route home, I was left head towards taxis. As a woman at 4am with the steps of airport inky blank in darkness and deserted. I’d know her mother quite well but she was horribly cold to me and said : ‘you take care now’ in such a dismissive tone as though as I was somehow in the wrong.

I literally spent my holiday placating her and trying to help her enjoy it and cope better with the heat etc. So down I walked to my taxi with tears in my eyes. It’s hard to describe but nobody has ever made me feel that small before. To add insult to injury, they didn’t wait with me for a taxi even though I’d waited for her lift to arrive. There was no text from my friend at all to say did you get home safe. In the end I was waiting two hours for a taxi and it cost me just under 100 euro to get home. AIBU to think a lift home from the airport could have been offered to me?

I’d have given petrol money of course. Only last week I gave her a lovely gift for her bday (even though I got none for mine) and gave her mom a bottle of expensive wine for hosting the party too. I was never thanked for either gift. I just feel so upset over what’s happened and I actually blocked them both on what’s app as I’m just sickened by it all right now. Surely for her mom to treat me so horribly- she was telling lies that I wasn't being nice on the holiday or something? Whereas the opposite is true I was so nice and supportive of her needs as I hate conflict and didn’t want any tension. Sorry I’m going off topic! and I’m sorry if it’s too long it’s my first post!! Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

@easyday

Well my 'thought' is that this isn't your friend. I'd back way off from her, and her mother.
Thing is this reads like you guys are teenagers on your first I'll matched holiday - but you both have kids? If so why did you go away together and not with your families?
Anyway, yes, terrible that the mother didn't offer you a lift. Shame on them, but stop being a doormat and drop them.

What makes you think they have kids?

[mycatisannoying]

They are awful. YANBU.

[TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo]

Have you put yourself through this shit again?

Cos I have one million percent read this post word for word last year.

[KeyErro]

Well she's not going to ask how your holiday was if her daughter has been moaning non-stop about it. And no flight arriving at 4am is good, who would ask if it was? I can't fathom why you're still stewing over this.
Did you actually ask your friend for a lift?

I think you're over-reliant on 'reading' people versus actual communication.
Chalk this up to experience and find a better travel companion next time.

[nzeire]

This was a hard read :(
how awful. You can spend months trying to figure it all out, trying to make it right, feeling hurt and bewildered, and still feel no different, wiser at the end….
OR
just move on, friend sounds deranged, mum is defending friend in a weird kindof way!

you sound lovely xxx

[tobee]

@KeyErro

Did you ask for a lift back or were you just waiting for them to offer? Why did you wait if you were expecting to take a taxi?
I think you're judging the mum quite harshly, nobody wants a chat at 4am.
Sounds like you don't articulate your needs well then come across as bitter and resentful.
Didn't you discuss in advance how you'd be spending your days?

Riiiiight!

[qpmz]

Holidays test the best of friendships and that's a weekend away not 10 days all inclusive together! Have you been away with her before?

[pitchforksandflamethrowers]

By the title of this I was totally coming here to as YABU but changed my mind.

Your friends got her mentality from somewhere and clearly her mothers been enabling it. Some people do this with their kids and forget they grow in to fairly selfish adults who only think of themselves and the world spins for them alone.

I have given my DSD and her friend a lift home late one night (well out of the way for me) after they had a fight because regardless if a person has been a arse to you (and I don't think you have been btw), you do the right thing. Women get killed at that time of night.

These women aren't your friends. Remember people are either radiators or drains. Chose your circle carefully.

[Lis1992]

@qpmz no never away with her before. Stupidly believed it would be fine!

[Lis1992]

@BugsInTheBed um no…..it’s my experience and it only happened this morning. So not sure what this means

[tobee]

Why are there always people posting unnecessarily unpleasant replies on Mumsnet these days?

The only 2 reasons it would be understandable to not offer a life in these circumstances that I can think of would be if someone had stolen from my daughter or been physically violent to them.

Glad you've blocked them op; a miserable experience for you.

[tobee]

Link to that thread?

[BugsInTheBed]

@tobee it was @TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo who said it was last years thread. I just picked up on that. I never notice these things and feel foolish when they're pointed out! I was questioning why people do post fake threads bur thats not to say OPs is. I suspect lots of people have a mismatched hokiday story- qs I said I have! And I suspect my friend would likewise have felt frustrated with me as o was with her!

[BuanoKubiamVej]

Yabu because it's totally ridiculous to have failed to make a proper plan for getting home from the airport as part of planning the holiday and given that you were in that situation having made no plan, totally ridiculous to expect your friend's mother to offer you a lift - you clearly didn't even ask, you just expected her to offer.

You only paid 100 for the taxi as you didn't book it in advance. There's a huge markup on non-prebooked fares. This is well known. You didn't prebook because you were expecting to make it someone else's problem.

None of the whining about not having enjoyed the holiday much is particularly relevant to any of this.

But if I was collecting my adult dd from an aorport at 4am and knew she hadn't had a good holiday there's no way I would just charmingly sparkle and offer a lift to said friend. I would assume she was quite capable of making her own arrangements - otherwise I would have been asked for a lift weeks ago when said arrangements were being planned - and would be prioritising my dds needs to feel the ordeal was over, which would be postponed by having a 3rd person in the car.

[LikeAStar1994]

@Lis1992

@BugsInTheBed um no…..it’s my experience and it only happened this morning. So not sure what this means

Ignore that poster. You will find on MN that people are always piping up with "I swear I saw this exact same thread last year. Word for word" It's tedious. It's as if other people can never have the same experiences. How many people on this planet? Billions!

One OP was chased off her own thread because the others piled on and accused her of being a journalist when she was actually genuine and only wanted some advice.

I'm forever grateful I don't know these people in real life. Vile.

Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear of your shitty experience and that you had a rubbish holiday. I'm glad you've blocked them.

[EntertainingandFactual]

She is no friend of yours.
She is not worth any more of your time.

[MarmiteCoriander]

How had you planned to get home from the airport??? What had you booked/planned to do???

Whilst the mother could have offered, you said yourself, you are a women, and going by your avatar, you are 30! Not a teen. If you had said nothing at all - I would have assumed you had your own transport sorted! Yes, the mum or your 'friend' might have come across as rude- but who knows what your supposed 'friend' had been saying to her mum and it was 4AM!!!

This person isn't your friend OP! To slag you off during the holiday to her mum is one thing. But equally, you clearly didn't discuss with 'friend' beforehand what you each wanted from the holiday. What you wanted to see and do. Lesson learnt. She clearly has had no contact and as harsh as it is- she isn't your friend.

[LikeAStar1994]

@tobee

Link to that thread?

Yes. Come on, @BugsInTheBed. Let's see it!

Put up or shut up.

[BugsInTheBed]

@LikeAStar1994 did you not see?! I was responding to a pp who said shenhad seen it word for word a year ago. I was responding as I often fall for that!

[Missisipihallelujah]

I had a similar experience when I treated my two nieces to a couple of days in Paris. From the flight out, they were ungrateful and complaining about the inflight breakfast, which i had paid for, along with everything else. My panic attacks returned due to their selfishness and I swore i would never treat ungrateful, entitled people again. They ruined that weekend for me, but they enjoyed it.

[DrinkFeckArseBrick]

The OPs flight was delayed. Her plans were messed up. Not many people have a back up plan for a cert delayed flight landing in the middle of the night

[DuckBilledPlattyJoobs]

I can read people well

Maybe not as well as you think otherwise you’d have never gone on holiday with her.

[Cailin66]

@Lis1992

Sorry I can’t work out how to use this site yet 🙈 I was clarifying in relation to a previous post asking if we have children and wanted to explain I’m at the pregnancy planning stage and none of us have kids. Thanks.

The taxi for 100 is the cheapest 100 you will ever spend. Now you KNOW.

[Ohnolookwhatthecatsdraggedin]

Oh you poor soul, these are awful hideous, horrific humans. For any mother to leave her daughter's friend at 4am at an airport when she lives near you - dreadful. Leave them on blocked.

Next you need to work on your self confidence, self worth and boundaries. Stop pleasing people, it will get you absolutely nowhere and will constantly make you feel like sh**. Write this one off as a life experience and make a promise to yourself never, ever to accept treatment like this again from anyone regardless of whether they are family, friends, boyfriends etc!

You said you were planning a baby, do you have a partner? if so, maybe next time go on holiday with them. If not a holiday alone can be lovely - your own space, freedom and it will help build up your confidence.

Sending 💐and hugs!