Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect a lift from the airport at 4am when someone is passing near my area?

238 replies

Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 22:51

Hi all. This is my first time posting so forgive me if it’s in the wrong place or I miss something! I’m just back from a vacation with a friend. We did 10 days at an all inclusive resort in Spain. For the entire trip (pretty much from the beginning) I got the vibe she didn’t want to be there. She complained about the sun, heat etc (it was Spain in July) and I understand that as it was hot of course. But she was annoyed when I wanted to enjoy some sun by the pool and read my books. So I offered to do stuff during the day and she’d snap and say no way how silly was that in the hottest part of the day etc. I asked her to rub sun cream on my back as I’d done for her and she’d sigh and roll her eyes etc that she had to go through the effort of moving to do so. In addition she had insisted on sharing a room for costs. She told that she didn’t snore. The reality was she snores horribly loudly. She fell asleep instantly and snored with unbearable volume for the whole night. I was chronically sleep deprived and it was really frustrating after paying so much for the trip.

I felt I was constantly accommodating her and she was doing the same back. I saw flash up on her phone when she was sitting beside me and she was texting her mom about me and said I was ‘too fussy and she didn’t like it’ and obviously lots more that I couldn’t see. She also slagged me off for not liking big crowds but she knew that before we went and I didn’t think she’d mock me for it as I had confided in her. She also snapped at me about a meal we had split the bill for , as she said her meal only cost whatever amount. I felt this was unfair as I’d been quite generous with buying us drinks etc on the holiday and hadn’t asked for anything back.

She had a lift home from the airport from her mom. the flight was very late (landed at 4am after a long delay). I waited with her in the terminal so she wouldn’t be standing alone. When her mother arrived she barely acknowledged me- no asking did you have a good trip, how was the flight etc. Instead of offering a lift as I live along their route home, I was left head towards taxis. As a woman at 4am with the steps of airport inky blank in darkness and deserted. I’d know her mother quite well but she was horribly cold to me and said : ‘you take care now’ in such a dismissive tone as though as I was somehow in the wrong.

I literally spent my holiday placating her and trying to help her enjoy it and cope better with the heat etc. So down I walked to my taxi with tears in my eyes. It’s hard to describe but nobody has ever made me feel that small before. To add insult to injury, they didn’t wait with me for a taxi even though I’d waited for her lift to arrive. There was no text from my friend at all to say did you get home safe. In the end I was waiting two hours for a taxi and it cost me just under 100 euro to get home. AIBU to think a lift home from the airport could have been offered to me?

I’d have given petrol money of course. Only last week I gave her a lovely gift for her bday (even though I got none for mine) and gave her mom a bottle of expensive wine for hosting the party too. I was never thanked for either gift. I just feel so upset over what’s happened and I actually blocked them both on what’s app as I’m just sickened by it all right now. Surely for her mom to treat me so horribly- she was telling lies that I wasn't being nice on the holiday or something? Whereas the opposite is true I was so nice and supportive of her needs as I hate conflict and didn’t want any tension. Sorry I’m going off topic! and I’m sorry if it’s too long it’s my first post!! Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

OP posts:
SaltFlakes · 20/07/2022 23:59

I'm truly sorry for the way you've been treated. Please do yourself a favour and cut ties. It doesn't get better.

maddening · 21/07/2022 00:01

Send her a link to this thread and tell her she will find the explanation of why you expect her to refrain from ever contacting you again.

Kite22 · 21/07/2022 00:04

I think you're judging the mum quite harshly, nobody wants a chat at 4am.

but, having gone to the airport to pick one person up, nobody I know would leave another person there alone, to get a taxi, when I was virtually passing their house - or even if I wasn't passing their house, in truth. You don't have to have a friendly chat, you just give them a lift and drop them off.

Summerfun54321 · 21/07/2022 00:05

Her mum is the worst, there’s no way I would leave someone else’s daughter at 4am and not even ask how they were getting home. Shame on your “friend” and her mum, they both sound toxic and you’re better off without.

Sswhinesthebest · 21/07/2022 00:05

You truly get to know people when you go away with them. You now know she’s not a true friend.

KosherDill · 21/07/2022 00:07

They are horrible people. Sorry that happened to you. Bin them and move on.

Furries · 21/07/2022 00:08

BugsInTheBed · 20/07/2022 23:20

I get a bit defensive if I think someone's messed my daughter around. I guess from her perspective (rightly or wrongly) that's how she sees it. I guess if you dont know what you did that irritated her Id just move on and think you're not compatible.

Has she contacted you at all?

To the extent that you’d leave a woman on her own at 4am?

I “get” taking the side of a daughter/family member etc. But there’s no way I would leave someone at an airport if they lived en-route to my final destination.

Toucan123 · 21/07/2022 00:08

BuanoKubiamVej · 20/07/2022 23:42

Yabu because it's totally ridiculous to have failed to make a proper plan for getting home from the airport as part of planning the holiday and given that you were in that situation having made no plan, totally ridiculous to expect your friend's mother to offer you a lift - you clearly didn't even ask, you just expected her to offer.

You only paid 100 for the taxi as you didn't book it in advance. There's a huge markup on non-prebooked fares. This is well known. You didn't prebook because you were expecting to make it someone else's problem.

None of the whining about not having enjoyed the holiday much is particularly relevant to any of this.

But if I was collecting my adult dd from an aorport at 4am and knew she hadn't had a good holiday there's no way I would just charmingly sparkle and offer a lift to said friend. I would assume she was quite capable of making her own arrangements - otherwise I would have been asked for a lift weeks ago when said arrangements were being planned - and would be prioritising my dds needs to feel the ordeal was over, which would be postponed by having a 3rd person in the car.

The OP clearly says in her very first post that the flight landed at 4am because of a long delay. Which makes your condescending post, especially your "You didn't prebook because you were expecting to make it someone else's problem" comment non-sensical as well as rude.

FOJN · 21/07/2022 00:10

I think she had chosen to be grumpy and your attempts to accommodate her irritated her by highlighting you had to work hard for her to even be civil to you, if that makes sense. FWIW I don't think anything you suggested would have made a difference.

I think if you had ignored her moodiness and breezily gone off to do your own thing when she seemed beyond pleasing she would have realised you weren't going to indulge her and might have been about less bratty. Trying to please her just made her think you were fussy. She doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant person so I'd let the friendship slide.

I do think it's shocking that her mum left you at the airport but presumably you knew you would be landing in the early hours so I don't understand why you hadn't planned your travel home before you even departed. Given you live somewhere on the way to your friends home did it not occur to you to ask for a lift home in advance?

sidheandlight · 21/07/2022 00:16

KeyErro · 20/07/2022 23:04

Did you ask for a lift back or were you just waiting for them to offer? Why did you wait if you were expecting to take a taxi?
I think you're judging the mum quite harshly, nobody wants a chat at 4am.
Sounds like you don't articulate your needs well then come across as bitter and resentful.
Didn't you discuss in advance how you'd be spending your days?

any 'normal' person would offer at 4am. She must have being texting horrible things about you to her mother OP or else they are cut from the same cloth. What kind of baby is she that she needs her mother to pick her up at such an ungodly hour 🙄

LampLighter414 · 21/07/2022 00:18

Don’t message her again. She doesn’t sound like a good friend. Let the friendship end. It will be sad. I doubt she’ll even ask you why she hasn’t heard from you. But that will be exactly the proof you need. Find nicer people :)

Somethingneedstochange · 21/07/2022 00:31

^This^

Shelaydownunderthetable · 21/07/2022 00:40

Fuck em! They sound terrible. Chalk it up to life lessons. Better holidays ahead.

AlwaysLatte · 21/07/2022 00:44

Like mother, like daughter. Sounds like you need another holiday to get over that one!

SammyScrounge · 21/07/2022 00:45

She is not your friend. Dump her and forget her.

Somethingneedstochange · 21/07/2022 00:48

Wow how rude are you the mother? Have you not considered there was delays and that's why the mother came and picked her up? Airport taxis can only wait so long. So if she's missed the estimated arrival time that would have been pre paid.

As for believing everything your daughter says there's always two sides to a story.

SpangledShambles · 21/07/2022 00:53

Be glad you’re home. Never be in contact with these ridiculous people again.

Stoic123 · 21/07/2022 01:02

Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 23:32

@qpmz no never away with her before. Stupidly believed it would be fine!

Not 'stupidly'. Some friendships travel better than others but this is unusually shoddy behaviour (by both of them).

And ignore the "you should have asked" comments - a decent person would have offered.

You will get better friends (and have better holidays). This 'friend' can be dumped.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/07/2022 01:06

If you knew your flight was arriving at 4am; could you not have arranged your own lift home?

you sound like a pair of teenagers..just say goodbye to this ‘friendship’.

Marmite17 · 21/07/2022 01:10

Your friend sounds incredibly entitled. Being left alone at 4 am would be a deal breaker for me. Awful behaviour.

OhFatty · 21/07/2022 01:20

Awful people. They’ve shown you what they’re like.

You’ll meet so many people through your pregnancy, and when your baby arrives. In the meantime don’t give that nasty woman or her mum another thought.

I’m sorry your holiday was spoilt

honkeytonkwoman38 · 21/07/2022 01:26

Firstly stop calling her your friend. She's not a friend. She's a bitchy girl you mistook for a friend and ended up on holiday with!
Chalk it up to experience and have no more to do with her.

ilovesooty · 21/07/2022 01:49

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/07/2022 01:06

If you knew your flight was arriving at 4am; could you not have arranged your own lift home?

you sound like a pair of teenagers..just say goodbye to this ‘friendship’.

The OP said the flight was delayed.

Puffalicious · 21/07/2022 01:50

BuanoKubiamVej · 20/07/2022 23:42

Yabu because it's totally ridiculous to have failed to make a proper plan for getting home from the airport as part of planning the holiday and given that you were in that situation having made no plan, totally ridiculous to expect your friend's mother to offer you a lift - you clearly didn't even ask, you just expected her to offer.

You only paid 100 for the taxi as you didn't book it in advance. There's a huge markup on non-prebooked fares. This is well known. You didn't prebook because you were expecting to make it someone else's problem.

None of the whining about not having enjoyed the holiday much is particularly relevant to any of this.

But if I was collecting my adult dd from an aorport at 4am and knew she hadn't had a good holiday there's no way I would just charmingly sparkle and offer a lift to said friend. I would assume she was quite capable of making her own arrangements - otherwise I would have been asked for a lift weeks ago when said arrangements were being planned - and would be prioritising my dds needs to feel the ordeal was over, which would be postponed by having a 3rd person in the car.

Jesus, I'm glad I don't know people like you in real life. FFS they live and breathe among us. What exactly makes people so cold that they'd leave another woman alone and in the dark?

And what is it about MN that EVERYTHING needs to be organised weeks in advance?! In life we need to react and respond to the here and now a lot of the time. How cruel to leave another person behind when you're passing by their door.

OP , a my lovely mam used to say 'There's nought weirder than folk, my love.' You were right to block. She is not a friend.

PinkyFlamingo · 21/07/2022 01:53

What was your friendship like before the holiday? Odd behaviour from her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread