AIBU to expect a lift from the airport at 4am when someone is passing near my area?

[Lis1992]

Hi all. This is my first time posting so forgive me if it’s in the wrong place or I miss something! I’m just back from a vacation with a friend. We did 10 days at an all inclusive resort in Spain. For the entire trip (pretty much from the beginning) I got the vibe she didn’t want to be there. She complained about the sun, heat etc (it was Spain in July) and I understand that as it was hot of course. But she was annoyed when I wanted to enjoy some sun by the pool and read my books. So I offered to do stuff during the day and she’d snap and say no way how silly was that in the hottest part of the day etc. I asked her to rub sun cream on my back as I’d done for her and she’d sigh and roll her eyes etc that she had to go through the effort of moving to do so. In addition she had insisted on sharing a room for costs. She told that she didn’t snore. The reality was she snores horribly loudly. She fell asleep instantly and snored with unbearable volume for the whole night. I was chronically sleep deprived and it was really frustrating after paying so much for the trip.

I felt I was constantly accommodating her and she was doing the same back. I saw flash up on her phone when she was sitting beside me and she was texting her mom about me and said I was ‘too fussy and she didn’t like it’ and obviously lots more that I couldn’t see. She also slagged me off for not liking big crowds but she knew that before we went and I didn’t think she’d mock me for it as I had confided in her. She also snapped at me about a meal we had split the bill for , as she said her meal only cost whatever amount. I felt this was unfair as I’d been quite generous with buying us drinks etc on the holiday and hadn’t asked for anything back.

She had a lift home from the airport from her mom. the flight was very late (landed at 4am after a long delay). I waited with her in the terminal so she wouldn’t be standing alone. When her mother arrived she barely acknowledged me- no asking did you have a good trip, how was the flight etc. Instead of offering a lift as I live along their route home, I was left head towards taxis. As a woman at 4am with the steps of airport inky blank in darkness and deserted. I’d know her mother quite well but she was horribly cold to me and said : ‘you take care now’ in such a dismissive tone as though as I was somehow in the wrong.

I literally spent my holiday placating her and trying to help her enjoy it and cope better with the heat etc. So down I walked to my taxi with tears in my eyes. It’s hard to describe but nobody has ever made me feel that small before. To add insult to injury, they didn’t wait with me for a taxi even though I’d waited for her lift to arrive. There was no text from my friend at all to say did you get home safe. In the end I was waiting two hours for a taxi and it cost me just under 100 euro to get home. AIBU to think a lift home from the airport could have been offered to me?

I’d have given petrol money of course. Only last week I gave her a lovely gift for her bday (even though I got none for mine) and gave her mom a bottle of expensive wine for hosting the party too. I was never thanked for either gift. I just feel so upset over what’s happened and I actually blocked them both on what’s app as I’m just sickened by it all right now. Surely for her mom to treat me so horribly- she was telling lies that I wasn't being nice on the holiday or something? Whereas the opposite is true I was so nice and supportive of her needs as I hate conflict and didn’t want any tension. Sorry I’m going off topic! and I’m sorry if it’s too long it’s my first post!! Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Friend sounds like a complete pain and unreasonable in a number of ways. But I can’t imagine getting to an airport in the early hours of the morning after a holiday and just expecting a lift home from my friend’s mother without it having been discussed before hand (especially if the holiday had been as strained as you describe). That sounds really unreasonable to me and it makes me wonder how much of your issues boil down to you and your friend not communicating well.

I was merely demonstrating that at the absolute minimum there was a plane load of people around and even so, there is usually more than one plane at an airport…. and after two hours, it was 6am, most airports are bustling at 6am.

My thought on it overall, was that it was impolite to not offer a lift. But there is no need to layer on tiers of drama about the dark and deserted airport.

Unless this is not a European country, waiting at an airport, even at 4am is not “really quite dangerous”. And if OP does actually live somewhere dangerous, all the more reason that OP should have had a plan for getting home.

I think your friend may be DS's late teen girlfriend, she would be early 30's now.
Absolutely ruined our family holiday that SHE insisted coming on.
We paid for everything, of course. She was nasty to our DD , hid in the room of our villa, complaining constantly about everything including how rude we were to not drive her daily to the nearest city ( 2 hours each way) to shop, hated the food unless it was at a €€€€ restaurant.
Her mother then had the cheek to ring me and say that Princess Pain in the Arse was used to the au pair taking her wherever she wanted to go and that all holidays were based on her whims ! She was 19 for gods sake !
Only upside was that DS broke up with her the minute we got home.

Oh you poor soul, these are awful hideous, horrific humans
I think this is a bit dramatic. It. Is annoying to not have been offered a lift home but I wouldn't call it "horrific".
OP you probably should have asked if the mum could give you a lift in advance, like when your friend phoned her to arrange to be collected.
Waiting with her makes it look like you were expecting to be offered - it doesn't make sense to say you were waiting so she wasn't alone, as then you were alone. One of you would always be left, unless you were expecting an offer.

It is quite common to fall out with people on holiday. However, even if I fell out with my friend on holiday I wouldn’t leave them at 4am. She was obviously bad mouthing you and her mum and she has believed it all as what happened instead of realising there are always two sides to every story.

You probably should have said whilst waiting, can your mum drop me off on the way. Equally she should have told you not to wait but get your taxi, if she had no intention of giving you a lift. I think you need to put it down to experience.

Are you having comprehension problems?
No, the OP didn’t know in advance when they’d be landing. The plane was delayed. She says so very clearly.

They have showed you who they are OP. The so called friend especially but the apple sometimes doesn’t fall far from the tree. The mother wasn’t kind either, but I’m sure it’s because of some absolute lies her daughter has fed her on holiday. Disgusting behaviour and I truly wouldn’t ever bother again. Sorry you had a horrible holiday.:(

and would be prioritising my dds needs to feel the ordeal was over, which would be postponed by having a 3rd person in the car

’the ordeal’ 😂😂😂

She’d been on a holiday she hadn’t enjoyed, not on a combat expedition to a war zone.

Its over OP in every single way, move on. YANBU.

So your friend had arranged to be collected after the flight but you sound surprised that you had to take a taxi. So how had you expected to get home?

I’m not saying that the friend shouldn’t have given you a lift or whatever - I’m interested in what plans you, a grown woman, had made to get yourself home (especially if, as your post suggests, you are nervous about being alone in an airport at night time).

If so why did you go away together and not with your families?

Not the point of the thread I know but I regularly go away with friends and not family, it is allowed

Amazing how many haven't comprehended the OP saying the flight was delayed. More disturbing are those not seeing a problem with a lone woman expecting to get a taxi at 4 am, given the obvious dangers.

I have always believed the old 'you never really know someone until you have lived with them, worked with them or gone on holiday with them'. Someone upthread said it is quite common to fall out with someone on holiday. Don't beat yourself up over it.

The mother's behaviour is rude. Clearly the daughter had been whining about you. I cannot imagine how you would leave a friend at the airport to get a cab when you are driving past their house, especially at night and after a flight delay.

Please tell us you binning this immature pair off OP.

She’s not your friend. I’m very surprised you ended up on a holiday together. Cut your losses and move on, this isn’t about you and you should not feel small. Keep your head high.

Yes, but she must have KNOWN the flight was delayed - she was on it! So what plans was she making given that knowledge? A conversation with her friend, perhaps - how are you getting back? Do you think I’d be able to have a lift? Or - the flight’s delayed so the trains won’t be running. Shall we share a taxi? Oh, your mum’s picking you up - do you think she’d be able to give me a lift?

I totally get where the mum was coming from here. Her daughter clearly didn't have a good time and she just wanted to get her in the car on her own and home as soon as possible. She didn't want to be making small talk, she just wanted to be on her own with her daughter.

I'm not saying it was your fault her daughter didn't have fun. It sounds like it was a bit of a disaster all round tbh. You'll know better than to holiday with her again! But at 4am in the morning her maternal instinct was to get her daughter out of the situation asap and that meant leaving you to get a cab. Which is fair enough.
And you are being a bit dramatic to complain about being a lone woman in inky blackness. It's not like it was a deserted forest 100 miles from civilisation. It was an airport with numerous CCTVs, tight security and an entire infrastructure geared up to transport travellers safely 24/7.

Leaving you at the airport was unkind

The rest? I'd be interested to gear her side of the story

Your friend is not really a friend.

Just cut ties completely and be the bigger person. Don't even look back... life is too short.

Why don’t you go back and read the OP properly? She said the flight landed at 4am after a long delay so most of your post is just nonsense really

the steps of airport inky blank in darkness the drama of it all like a bloody chick lit novel.🤣

@FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall well that just shows the mum is as petty as the daughter. Just want to get her home? - she was on holiday not in a war zone. These are adults. Her mum is doing her no favours if she babies her like you’ve described. Probably why the daughter acts like such a brat.

That's not a friend. Find nicer people op they suck.

Sounds like the mum had been fed a pack of lies and embellishment.

Still shitty to leave OP with few transport options at a difficult time in the morning after a delayed flight, so presumably an all-nighter.

Taxis are expensive, and there is an element of risk for lone females.

I'd keep her blocked; she's no friend.

Fuck’s sake, they’re adults! And what kind of screwed-up dynamic makes it so imperative that she and her daughter simply HAVE to be alone, to the extent that she happily leaves someone else standing in an airport when she’s driving right near her house?

What's the betting she'll be posting photos on Facebook saying what an amazing time you both had....

But, she's not a friend, and even if mum had been fed a pack of lies, she still should have offered you a lift. They both sound awful - Ditch!!