Page 7 | Drinking while pregnant

PreggieGoldilocks86 · 2022-07-15T22:48:18+00:00

Was at a bday party last weekend, good friends of my partner. I am pregnant in my first trimester and the wife of the bday boy is also pregnant, about half way along. She asked if I’d had any drinks since finding out I was pregnant (I am a big drinker usually) and I said no, I was missing the booze but happy to give it up. She told me she’s been having the occasional drink here and there and had given herself a limit of 3 glasses of wine to have the night of the party so she could enjoy herself. I was honestly a little in shock. They’ve had IVF to get to where they are so really want this baby. Obviously each to their own but AIBU to feel a bit thrown that she was happy to down 3 glasses of wine in one night while pregnant?! I didn’t really know what to say. Maybe this casual drinking while pregnant is more popular than I realise? Do I need to loosen up?! Haha

secular39 · 17/07/2022 16:50

Does Alcohol really taste that good that people are unable to abstain from it? I don't know- I'm not a drinker so I wouldn't know.

tobi21 · 17/07/2022 17:00

I'd say one drink would be fine, but 3 is pushing it. There's 3 large glasses in a bottle of wine

EV117 · 17/07/2022 17:40

Does Alcohol really taste that good that people are unable to abstain from it? I don't know- I'm not a drinker so I wouldn't know.

I love wine, it really does taste amazing to me - and Prosecco too. I had a small glass of both on two occasions when I was pregnant and it felt like a big indulgence. I don’t miss alcohol as such or getting tipsy. I’m not actually a big drinker in that way at all. I missed wine like I missed blue cheese and Brie - also one of my favourite treats.

Goldbar · 17/07/2022 17:57

EV117 · 17/07/2022 17:40

Does Alcohol really taste that good that people are unable to abstain from it? I don't know- I'm not a drinker so I wouldn't know.

I love wine, it really does taste amazing to me - and Prosecco too. I had a small glass of both on two occasions when I was pregnant and it felt like a big indulgence. I don’t miss alcohol as such or getting tipsy. I’m not actually a big drinker in that way at all. I missed wine like I missed blue cheese and Brie - also one of my favourite treats.

Same. Tastes pretty good to me! But I'm also having trouble abstaining from rare steak, sushi, blue cheese, smoked salmon, tuna, prosciutto, pate and pre-prepared salads. It so happens that most of my favourite foods are on the pregnancy avoid list. So pleased that the recommendation is no longer to cook eggs though... soldiers dipped in runny eggs is one of the few pleasures left...

georgarina · 17/07/2022 18:01

Goldbar · 17/07/2022 17:57

Same. Tastes pretty good to me! But I'm also having trouble abstaining from rare steak, sushi, blue cheese, smoked salmon, tuna, prosciutto, pate and pre-prepared salads. It so happens that most of my favourite foods are on the pregnancy avoid list. So pleased that the recommendation is no longer to cook eggs though... soldiers dipped in runny eggs is one of the few pleasures left...

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I really craved sushi in all my pregnancies so researched it and found that the risks come from sushi that hasn't been flash-frozen, which is a requirement in all EU countries. So as long as from a reputable place sushi should be fine

mycatisannoying · 17/07/2022 18:03

Women who drink, smoke or take drugs during pregnancy should do the kind thing and just have an abortion.

mycatisannoying · 17/07/2022 18:03

In excess, I mean.

EV117 · 17/07/2022 18:09

In excess, I mean.

Yeah that doesn’t really improve what you said.
My mum smoked during pregnancy - I’m not condoning it but, you know, I’m glad she didn’t follow the advice of someone like you and abort me for it…

Xpologog · 17/07/2022 18:20

PreggieGoldilocks86 · 16/07/2022 00:52

Going to my sisters wedding in a months time and everyone was asking if I’d have a glass of bubbles or half to do a toast. I’d said no but this made me think maybe half a glass is ok 🤷‍♀️ And maybe I’m just being way too cautious! I feel so responsible for this thing in my belly lol I think likely I’ll just do sparkling water for the toast and save myself the guilt!

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You don’t have to drink it. I’m teetotal ( cannot stand even the smell of alcohol) and I take a glass of champagne at a wedding, celebration etc… Raise my glass, to x and y, wave it near my lips and down on the table. No one takes any notice and it saves the comment from the person ( there’s always one) who think you really should have a proper drink!

mycatisannoying · 17/07/2022 18:39

EV117 · 17/07/2022 18:09

In excess, I mean.

Yeah that doesn’t really improve what you said.
My mum smoked during pregnancy - I’m not condoning it but, you know, I’m glad she didn’t follow the advice of someone like you and abort me for it…

Oh come on, it's different these days and you know it.
We're so much more educated on the dangers of it now.
I've worked with children with FASD and it's a dreadful thing to do to your child.
It's on the rise now, especially with 'middle class' women. I was told this on a Child Protection course.

EV117 · 17/07/2022 18:39

You don’t have to drink it. I’m teetotal ( cannot stand even the smell of alcohol) and I take a glass of champagne at a wedding, celebration etc… Raise my glass, to x and y, wave it near my lips and down on the table. No one takes any notice and it saves the comment from the person ( there’s always one) who think you really should have a proper drink!

Champagne isn’t cheap you know - if you do this regularly how many bottles have you wasted??

ShirleyPhallus · 17/07/2022 19:09

Goldbar · 17/07/2022 17:57

Same. Tastes pretty good to me! But I'm also having trouble abstaining from rare steak, sushi, blue cheese, smoked salmon, tuna, prosciutto, pate and pre-prepared salads. It so happens that most of my favourite foods are on the pregnancy avoid list. So pleased that the recommendation is no longer to cook eggs though... soldiers dipped in runny eggs is one of the few pleasures left...

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i ate pretty much all those things throughout my pregnancies. I researched the risks and made an informed decision.

for most things, the risk is that you might get food poisoning rather than the actual food is harmful in any way. I don’t think I’ve ever had food poisoning from any of those things so I was comfortable to continue eating them if I fancied

sushi - fine if it’s sushi grade fish which has mostly been frozen beforehand anyway
pate - one to avoid due to high levels of vitamin a

Whodoiwanttobe · 17/07/2022 19:11

She’s a selfish idiot. Some people don’t deserve children

delilabell · 17/07/2022 19:16

whiteroseredrose · 16/07/2022 10:49

90% of FASD you would not know by just looking at the baby. There is no outward physical traits, yet the damage is done, it's irreversible, it could have been prevented. And it's likely undetected.

So it is undetected on this quote and somebody later mentioned a lot of FASD being undiagnosed. So how would one know if people walking around us have undiagnosed FASD.

The quote above refers to small amounts of alcohol, yet when I was pregnant with DS and DD (19 and 22) the advice was no more than a couple of units a week, and most of us had that. Does that mean my DC could have undiagnosed FASD? They have no signs at all.

Seriously, there is no need for hysteria. I would agree that three glasses is a bit much, but a glass of fizz at a wedding (if you fancy it) should be fine. There is advice about soft cheeses, bagged salads and Mr Whippy ice cream, which relates to listeria. Highly unlikely in supermarket Brie, more likely in glorious runny Brie from a French market. Use common sense.

As a parent of a boy with fasd your comment is really hurtful.
There is a difference between fas which is characterised by facial deformities, fasd and other alcoholic related disabilities.
We know my son has fasd because there us evidence birth mom drank during pregnancy, he has slight facial deformities and other related issues (specific learning disabilities, Behavioural issues, memory issues)
It is thought that alcohol related disabilities are more prevalent than autism but the issue is proving the child has them. Moms might not admit they drank, they might not realise ots an issue, the dr/teacher/school nurse might nit have a good understanding of them and might think it is adhd/poor behaviour/dyslexia.

To call this "hysteria" is awful. The 8 years of having my son and battling for a diagnosis for his issues and then again for support shoes how there needs to be more awareness

Darbs76 · 17/07/2022 20:21

3 glasses could be 1 bottle of wine depending on the size. I liked my drink before I was pregnant with my 3 (I don’t drink at all now and don’t miss it one bit) but I only had 1 glass per week, 125ml measured out with my jug. I’d have never had 3 glasses in one evening, I’d definitely be tipsy after that, and you really shouldn’t be tipsy when pregnant

ShirleyPhallus · 17/07/2022 20:27

Darbs76 · 17/07/2022 20:21

3 glasses could be 1 bottle of wine depending on the size. I liked my drink before I was pregnant with my 3 (I don’t drink at all now and don’t miss it one bit) but I only had 1 glass per week, 125ml measured out with my jug. I’d have never had 3 glasses in one evening, I’d definitely be tipsy after that, and you really shouldn’t be tipsy when pregnant

The advice is generally limit to 1 unit of alcohol per drinking session during pregnancy. 125ml of wine is 1.6 units. It’s about 80ml of wine which is 1 unit, and just goes to show how confusing the whole thing is which is why the general advice is “none”.

whiteroseredrose · 17/07/2022 20:29

@delildelilabell my apologies if I have upset you.

I was referring to the study quoted which seemed to claim that even very small amounts of alcohol could lead to FASD but that it couldn't actually be detected or noticed. If there are absolutely no signs or symptoms at all, why would anyone think that the DC then have FASD?

As your DS does have signs or symptoms, his mother's probably drank considerably more than one glass of wine a week, which is a different issue entirely.

Aussiegirl88 · 17/07/2022 20:38

The thing with FAS is that it's not measured, no one knows how much or how little is required for the effects to destroy the human you're creating. There's an amazing young girl on tiktok who was born with FAS and she talks about it, her life, the damage, the known research etc.

TokyoTen · 17/07/2022 20:52

Personally I abstained from alcohol completely. I have met a couple of people who would have like 1/2 glass but most people stop completely I think.

SleepingAgent · 17/07/2022 22:33

ChiselandBits · 17/07/2022 08:47

To be honest I'm more concerned about the number of posters on here who have apparently been anxious, worried and guilt ridden over doing everything exactly 'right'. If stress is also dangerous to a pregnancy, maybe everyone needs to just relax a tiny bit and remember that women have been successfully growing and birthing babies for millennia.
The amount of pressure put on women to be paragons of virtue and uphold everyone else's ideas of what they 'should' be doing is ludicrous and, in my opinion more harmful overall than the occasional drink in pregnancy.

I agree.

I didn't drink in pregnancy but mostly because even just the smell made me want to heave. I took that as a sign my body was saying nope, not for you love! Didn't miss it at all. (I also had severe vom feelings to the smell of other things including tea, some foods, my husbands deodorant and a particular perfume a friend wore!)

But I had several friends who had the odd glass of wine/fizz at celebrations/Christmas and all the kids are fine and doing well (now teens).

Annisa1 · 23/07/2022 20:12

My friend . An avid wine drinker pre pregnancy enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine every other night while pregnant . Her and husband attended a doctors appointment together. The husband informed the doctor of his wife’s alcohol intake and the doctor reassured him it was fine and if it helped her unwind after a gruelling day in work then it was doing her more good than harm!

BeNewbo · 27/07/2022 06:23

@CupidStunt22 Wow.... thank god you don't come on here for support considering some of these comments.

Mama2b1 · 19/11/2022 18:14

Well that was a pointless and uneducated comment wasn’t it . I have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and I have a high BMI and millions of other women do too. Go and find a relevant post to troll

Lily4444 · 19/11/2022 18:31

No! It’s so dangerous and people don’t even seem to realise. I always say to pregnant women I see drinking “would you smoke whilst pregnant? Would you take weed? Then why drink?” as there is no “safe limit” when pregnant - scientists still don’t know But we do know that:

Drinking alcohol increases the chance of miscarriages, premature birth and low birth weight - why take that risk?

Fact 2: Everything you drink passed from your blood to the placenta and babies can’t filter alcohol as their liver is the last thing to develop

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 19/11/2022 19:39

Lily4444 · 19/11/2022 18:31

No! It’s so dangerous and people don’t even seem to realise. I always say to pregnant women I see drinking “would you smoke whilst pregnant? Would you take weed? Then why drink?” as there is no “safe limit” when pregnant - scientists still don’t know But we do know that:

Drinking alcohol increases the chance of miscarriages, premature birth and low birth weight - why take that risk?

Fact 2: Everything you drink passed from your blood to the placenta and babies can’t filter alcohol as their liver is the last thing to develop

Are you ok hun?

Hugely factually incorrect on 'fact' 2. The placenta acts as a barrier and is quite selective as to what gets through and the liver is one of the first organs to develop as thats where the fetus makes all its blood cells!

Also, no there isn't a 'safe' amount of alcohol, but one drink is far less likely to harm your baby than crossing a street or driving a car. You don't want to go binge drinking but the odd one is perfectly fine and those women do not deserve your judgmental attitude.