Drinking while pregnant

[PreggieGoldilocks86]

Was at a bday party last weekend, good friends of my partner. I am pregnant in my first trimester and the wife of the bday boy is also pregnant, about half way along.

She asked if I’d had any drinks since finding out I was pregnant (I am a big drinker usually) and I said no, I was missing the booze but happy to give it up. She told me she’s been having the occasional drink here and there and had given herself a limit of 3 glasses of wine to have the night of the party so she could enjoy herself.

I was honestly a little in shock. They’ve had IVF to get to where they are so really want this baby. Obviously each to their own but AIBU to feel a bit thrown that she was happy to down 3 glasses of wine in one night while pregnant?! I didn’t really know what to say. Maybe this casual drinking while pregnant is more popular than I realise? Do I need to loosen up?! Haha

My booklet from the midwife says 2 units a week.

I think 3 glasses of wine in one night is excessive. I think half a glass of wine once a week is fine.

Hi @Talkingtopigeons I’d be really interested to read the studies proving that even a small amount of alcohol causes serious lifelong problems. Could you point me in the right direction please - I haven’t been able to find anything valid online

Women have an odd drink here and there because it’s their body, their choice and for the most part they make an informed decision.

Non-alcoholic drinks may be fine to you but sometimes women just want to drink a proper drink, which is their choice. Having an occasional drink is very different to the binge drinking that leads to FASD.

I think most people are capable of not drinking for 9 months but don’t want to and want the occasional glass. That is absolutely fine and no one needs to “give their head a wobble” (nauseatingly MN phrase)

Thanks everyone for replying.

I think I’m completely overwhelmed with trying to do what I have been told is the right thing (ie eat right, give up the booze etc) that it completely threw me that others might have a more relaxed approach and it made me second guess my attitude. First time pregnancy and overthinking everything currently with a healthy dose of anxiety for good measure :)

I don’t think I’m perfect (lol) and don’t need to be told I’m better than anyone or right or anything else implied, just wanted to understand what most people do when pregnant and if my planned non alcohol policy is the norm - and it looks like most agree that giving up the booze is indeed their answer too. So thanks!

England is the 4th country in the world for alcohol intake during pregnancy. That was a shocker for me, but it helped me understand the thread better. There is a lot to be said about the people surrounding the pregnant women and supporting them with their choice not to drink. This is were the stress is actually made in my country (not a meal without a proper drink). It's a decision that needs open support to get through the many events that will surely happen during 9 months.

The advice even in England is 0% alcohol during pregnancy. There is no other actual advice. anything else is dated and does not reflect what we know on the subject. Interestingly they do not even talk about the first trimester. IT's all about the foetus. you know, second and third trimester.

"As the fetus develops in the womb, it is particularly vulnerable when exposed to substances that can affect its development. These substances are known as teratogens. Alcohol is a known teratogen,[footnote 6] but the science underlying its effects still continues to be developed.
What we do know is that alcohol can pass through the placenta and spread rapidly to the amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus. The alcohol is removed from the fluid far more slowly than the mother eliminates it from her own system, meaning that it accumulates. This creates a ‘reservoir’ of alcohol around the fetus, which will be swallowed and circulated in the fetus’ system. The fetus only has a limited ability to process, or metabolise, the alcohol compared to the mother, and so the effect is prolonged.[footnote 6] Multiple studies using animal models have shown that even low levels of alcohol exposure can lead to developmental abnormalities, at all stages of embryonic development.[footnote 7]"
www.gov.uk/government/publications/fetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorder-health-needs-assessment/fetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorder-health-needs-assessment

90% of FASD you would not know by just looking at the baby. There is no outward physical traits, yet the damage is done, it's irreversible, it could have been prevented. And it's likely undetected.

I abstained
Completely for ivf and first half of pregnancy

After that i had an occasional glass of wine. I think that's ok

I personally would not touch alcohol while I was pregnant... don't know anyone else who would either .

I'd absolutely not touch a drop of alcohol or tobacco (or any other drug!) while pregnant! It's just not worth it!

There's no evidence that the occasional drink (I.e. a small glass of wine a week) is a risk, but there's also no concrete evidence that it is safe as its an ethical bugger to test pregnant women

There is clear evidence that binge drinking (5+ units in one sitting) is a risk, which your friend will probably have. She will in all likelihood be fine but it's hard to understand why she would take the risk.

Three glasses is too much.

However I had the odd small glass throughout pregnancies, like a sixth of a pint of beer or half a glass of wine, maybe once a week. I think the 'don't drink at all' advice is based on the idea that women won't be able stick to a tiny amount.

Thing is, her 'occasional drink here and there' will probably increase now she's had 3 in one night and 'been fine'. So she's really just increased the chances of her child possibly having problems, because she'll believe she is ok.

I don't get why people can't just stop for 9 months. If you can't stop for a short period of time, you have to question if you have a problem or not. Thats a worrying part of it too, I think many have a problem with alcohol and don't even realise it. Just because they aren't swigging it back all day and lying on a park bench at night.

Completely agree. It's not fucking hard.

I chose not to have a drop on first pregnancy as I was worried of anything went wrong I wouldn't forgive myself.
Second pregnancy I had half a glass of wine spritzer at a wedding - wild living.

I was absolutely bowled over by the gangs of women with bumps smoking outside the maternity hospital.

I don't want to see a situation where pregnant women are restricted but it does feel wrong to see someone having that much alcohol, fetal alcohol syndrome is on the rise here is Ireland, very sad when you see the complications it can lead to.

Mumsnet competitively virtuous on this issue in particular I find. Read some evidence (Emily Oster as mentioned is good) and try to relax.

I did drink a bit during the third trimester. Ashamed to admit I drank a bottle of champagne on my 21st birthday and then ended up in hospital the next day for an unrelated issue that kept me there for a week (not enough fluid around DS) and was really embarrassed when I had to tell the midwife about the bubbly. She said as a one off not to worry about it.

I also drank Guinness when I worked at a festival at 8 months gone, I was advised it was good for pregnant women. I didn't have more than one a day though for that three day period. The NHS guidance at the time was 1 or 2 drinks a week were fine.

NRTFT

when I found out I was pregnant with my first my GP told me to limit my drink my to 2 glasses of wine per day. I don’t know if that was the official guidance (not in the UK) or because he knew I liked a drink.

I didn’t touch a drop during first 2 pregnancies & had a couple of shandy’s with my 3rd during the third trimester, it was summer & hot

I also did not know that FASD is severe impairment in 3 areas of neurodevelopmental. Which means that if it's only two or one you don't have FASD, you just have a child that has been harmed.

Quite apart from the fact that the very thought of alcohol makes me want to retch, I just wouldn't do it. I don't rely on booze so much that I can't forgo it for 9 months just to be on the safe side.

Two glasses per day? I would be absolutely wankered on that! When did the doctor give this advice? I'm imagining quite a while ago.

The odd glass does no harm. I never touched a drop during my 4 pregnancies, I just couldn't bear even the smell of alcohol. I will confess to the occasional cigarette though
😬 🤭

Emily Oster is good on this. And as pps have said, people tend to take a very virtuous approach to what they do and don't do in pregnancy - eg they won't touch "even a drop" of alcohol, but are happy to get pregnant at a high BMI, as apparently those risks aren't as worth worrying about.

I didn't drink in pregnancy (and in fact don't drink at all) but I wouldn't judge those who had the occasional glass if they were otherwise fit, healthy and eating well.

I was a big drinker prior to getting pregnant, with a strong social life in the pub. I have been told regularly that 1 or 2 wines isn't a problem.

Iv been terrified since finding out as I am now 9.5 weeks and didn't know, I drank 1 or 2 wines daily.

From what I'v seen and read, it's not so much of an issue up to about 8 weeks, but I don't know how much I would want to risk it.

I mean, people smoked and drank for many years before modern research told them not to.

Either way, still pooping my pants over what I'v had, so not worth it in my eyes

The reason that say no alcohol at all is because they don't know for sure exactly how much is safe when. Two women could drink the same amounts at the same time and one child will have FAS and the other be completely fine. It wouldn't be my choice but the three glasses of wine is unlikely to cause harm as a one off.

Tbh I find a lot of the rules patriarchal, if you are pregnant and you eat X, if you are the one in 100,000 that gets ill from that, it has the slightest chance of effecting the baby which is unacceptable while carrying my child therefore you must abstain and live in a bubble until your incubation duties are done eyeroll.

Standards are so good in most countries, there's a higher chance of getting hit by a car than contracting listeria but we're still 'not allowed' to have unpasturised dairy products, which is why many other countries don't have that rule.

3 glasses could be a whole bottle if they're large glasses. That's crazy. I don't know anyone who had that much alcohol during pregnancy.

The prevalence of FASD in the UK is 4x higher (32.4 per 1000) than the global prevalence (7.7 per 1000). This is why no alcohol is recommended during pregnancy.