Drinking while pregnant

[PreggieGoldilocks86]

Was at a bday party last weekend, good friends of my partner. I am pregnant in my first trimester and the wife of the bday boy is also pregnant, about half way along.

She asked if I’d had any drinks since finding out I was pregnant (I am a big drinker usually) and I said no, I was missing the booze but happy to give it up. She told me she’s been having the occasional drink here and there and had given herself a limit of 3 glasses of wine to have the night of the party so she could enjoy herself.

I was honestly a little in shock. They’ve had IVF to get to where they are so really want this baby. Obviously each to their own but AIBU to feel a bit thrown that she was happy to down 3 glasses of wine in one night while pregnant?! I didn’t really know what to say. Maybe this casual drinking while pregnant is more popular than I realise? Do I need to loosen up?! Haha

I had a glass of Prosecco at Christmas when I was around 5 months and a month or two later a small glass of wine my husband had been given it as a gift, it was a special bottle. I definitely wouldn’t have had 3, and definitely not in the first trimester. 3 glasses in one go can make you tipsy, certainly over the driving limit so surely that’s a substantial amount of alcohol in your blood. I suppose it’s a one off though - in realistic terms it’s unlikely to have a negative effect. I think it is more common than people realise - a friend gave me a ‘low alcohol’ bottle of wine to enjoy for my birthday, knowing I was pregnant (it was still 6%) and didn’t think anything of it. She seemed quite offended when I looked a bit confused at receiving it.

People's views of something like this will be coloured by their own drinking habits. It wouldn't be a task at all for me to not drink alcohol for 9 months, so I'd see someone drinking 3 glasses of wine whilst pregnant in an awful light because there's just no need for it.

You mean those judging women who can do whatever they like with their bodies? I agree, they are pretty thick

Although I do see your point that it may have been frustrating being criticised for your choices from someone whose baby was also statistically at a higher risk, the two, in my mind anyway, are not really comparable. Making choices and weighing up risk on a day to day basis about what we consume, is not really comparable to someone with obesity. This is not a one-off choice. It can take years for obese people to reach a healthy weight. If they could choose to click their fingers and lose the weight, I'm sure they would. Not to mention that most educated people these days do realise that obesity is rarely a 'choice'. You were right not to mention it to your friend or draw a comparison directly.

Not normal.
i had about half a glass of bubbly on NYE when pregnant- that’s it! Why risk it unduly?

I'd say half a glass of champagne as a one off would be absolutely fine.

Emily Oster, in her book "Expecting Better" analyses all the available research (of which there is not much, to be fair) and comes to the conclusion that one drink a couple of times a week with food is probably completely harmless.

I choose to abstain during pregnancy but will have a tiny sip of my husband's wine from time to time and I would probably have half a glass of champagne at a wedding or at Christmas.

I'm currently 15 weeks and haven't drunk since the day after I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, when I ordered a tonic water at the pub and the idiot barman didn't listen and put vodka in it.

I think one glass on special occasions is OK so long as it's not often. 3 glasses is quite a lot. People I know have had one small glass of champagne on NY and one at one of their own weddings.

I am comfortable with small amounts of alcohol in pregnancy. I'm 32 weeks now and have had maybe 3 small glasses of wine since I was 20 weeks pregnant and don't feel any guilt about it. Didn't even finish one of those glasses, just enjoyed sipping it.

My midwife with my first baby told me I couldn't eat soft serve icecream, even though the leaflet she gave me of NHS guidance said it was absolutely fine! I've also had a medium steak on a couple of occasions.

Angostura bitters are 45% alcohol.... just so you know

😆anything more than a few dashes of bitters is going to taste like poison so the OP will be fine!

Going to my sisters wedding in a months time and everyone was asking if I’d have a glass of bubbles or half to do a toast. I’d said no but this made me think maybe half a glass is ok

I’m sure it will fine if that’s what you want. I don’t understand why lots of people are asking you about it, these people are just being weird in my opinion. Why would it interest anyone?

But it depends on the soft serve, some brands use unpasteurised milk products, the average shit ice cream van for example.

@ChagSameachDoreen nup, my oldest is only 10 so not that long ago.

Agree! Thankful that women can legally be trusted to make choices for themselves.

But it depends on the soft serve, some brands use unpasteurised milk products, the average shit ice cream van for example

No, they don't.

Currently 6 months pregnant. I had half a glass of champagne at a party at 4 months, and it went right to my head which put me off. I sometimes have a couple of sips of DH’s wine if its a good one. I do miss drinking chilled wine in the garden on a summer’s day but not enough to have any, I can wait. My very upper class boss’s French wife told me she had a glass of wine every night. There son is a v intelligent Oxford grad, however, he is small compared to his peers plus he has always been quite sickly and has recently developed diabetes type 1. Probably not related but it did make me wonder a little. My in laws think I’m being neurotic abstaining as mil ‘drank every night’…

*their

Oh and I’m going to France soon for a holiday and fully intend to indulge in gorgeous soft cheeses, I’m not having that pleasure taken away from me as well

To be honest I'm more concerned about the number of posters on here who have apparently been anxious, worried and guilt ridden over doing everything exactly 'right'. If stress is also dangerous to a pregnancy, maybe everyone needs to just relax a tiny bit and remember that women have been successfully growing and birthing babies for millennia.
The amount of pressure put on women to be paragons of virtue and uphold everyone else's ideas of what they 'should' be doing is ludicrous and, in my opinion more harmful overall than the occasional drink in pregnancy.

I quite often see comments on here suggesting that French women drink moderately and eat whatever they like during pregnancy so it must be fine.

I live in France and am currently pregnant with my second baby. Most of my friends here have given birth in the last couple of years. In my experience this is absolutely not true. We are given exactly the same advice that women in the UK are. If anything it is more restrictive here, since runny eggs are also on the banned list and we are advised to only eat salad at home so we can be sure it's been properly washed. They take toxoplasmosis very seriously and we are all tested for it once a month throughout pregnancy.

Come to France and enjoy yourself by all means, but bear in mind that the majority of pregnant women in France are following the same rules as everyone else.

Plenty of soft cheeses are now pasteurised here, and if you stick to those you should be fine. All cheeses sold vacuum packed in the supermarket will say either "pasteurisé" or "au lait cru" on the label. If you go to a fromagerie, which I highly recommend, explain that you're pregnant and ask for only pasteurised cheeses. Same in restaurants.

One small glass a night?! Seriously? Is that even normal when not pregnant? Not sure why you'd need alcohol every day tbh.

Again, to me this is just odd. Who needs to drink every night even when pregnant? Given the possible risks to baby, even if not entirely known the possibility is there, why would someone do this unless they NEED that drink. And that's problematic.

Any single alcoholic drink you have whilst pregnant puts your child at risk of FASD. I don’t care if I come across as a judgemental twat but anyone who has a drink whilst pregnant deserves that judgement. Im raising a child with FASD. It’s such a small sacrifice to make and if you can’t put your baby’s development ahead of a glass of wine you’re showing shit parenting from the start.

I don’t judge those who had a few drinks when the advice was that it was safe to do so. We know better now though so we have to do better.

Small glasses generally aren't smalls either...

"any single alcoholic drink put the baby at risk of FAS"?? ONE drink? Half a beer / glass of wine? Sorry bit this sort of OTT approach is what causes such anxiety and worry which is far more harmful than the one drink.