To get married with COVID

[Moongazing]

I am having a major meltdown. I have tested positive for COVID today as part of workplace testing, I don't have a single symptom.

I am getting married on Saturday and having a large wedding with 80 day guests and an additional 100 at night. We have spent around 16k on the wedding and I have contacted my insurance provider and they are telling me I am not covered as current guidance would allow me to go ahead. The venue have also said it is too late to cancel as they have ordered all the food and drinks etc

We have saved for years and years to have our wedding the way we want it, I really don't know what to do, if I cancel I will lose so much money and won't be able to have our dream wedding ever

[ItsSnowJokes]

Sorry OP you must tell your guests. It is not your choice to make that people will be happy to be in a room with you having covid. It is the guests choice to make.

I would be fuming if I found out afterwards and it would seriously affect how I feel towards you. Like I said earlier I wouldn't come if you told me as I have a holiday booked and I am a carer for my mum. If you take that choice away from me, you take the risk of ruining the holiday and making my mum ill. I would be seriously pissed off.

[Moongazing]

@PaddingtonBearStareAgain

None of the guests would be classed as elderly or clinically vulnrable.

Sorry but you don't know as has been said by others.

Very few people would know I am. I don't go around broadcasting it.

You seriously need to let people know. If we were going and you didn't say and either of us found out later then it would put our friendship seriously at risk to say the least.

Except I do know they aren't as they are our close family and friends, I wouldn't say I knew they were if I didn't know that.

[butterflied]

If I were going to that wedding, and you didn't tell me you had covid I'd be very upset. It's completely different to not knowing you have it. You owe it to these people to let them make their own informed decision about attending or not.

[GrowlingManchego]

How rotten for you. I’m not trying to make you feel bad but when I first got a positive LFT, I had no symptoms either. A few days later I was sick enough to need my bed, and remained so for about a week afterwards. This is healthy and fully vaccinated. This new strain is a bastard.

I really hope it doesn’t go this way for you, fingers and toes crossed 🤞 but best to be aware of that scenario, and to find out what your insurer’s take would be if you really were too unwell to go ahead.

[HotHeatDays]

We will all catch it multiple times and it is a minor illness.

Not it isn't FFS

[HaveringWavering]

What does your fiancé think? It’s his wedding too.

[123ROLO]

I think the difference between the meal and the wedding is one cost several thousands of pounds, and months or even years of planning with people likely coming from all over, the other is a meal that can probably be easily rearranged.

And I think it is possible to limit your spread at a wedding, avoid all the kiss on cheek greetings, I think it's perfectly reasonable with covid rife to say you don't want to hug and kiss 70 people, keep the room ventilated as possible and wash hands regularly.

[catfunk]

Op You need to be prepared for the fact that you might be poorly by then and symptomatic. Coughing and sneezing in a makeup artist/ hairdressers face may not be the best idea.

[PaddingtonBearStareAgain]

@Moongazing

Except I do know they aren't as they are our close family and friends, I wouldn't say I knew they were if I didn't know that.

Wow you know the medical status and vulnerability to covid of all 180 guests.

Sorry but I doubt it.

[Welshgal85]

Oh no, sorry to hear this. Such a shame for you. I think you should definitely tell everyone and give them the choice whether they feel comfortable attending or not. You cannot willingly put people at risk knowing that you have it. It’s just not fair on people.

You will be coming into close contact with lots of people so high chance of spreading it to them.

I hope you continue to feel okay and don’t develop any symptoms and are able to have a lovely day 😊

[SortingOffice]

Does your insurance cover for cancellation if you are ill?
They have said they wont cover just because you are positive but by Saturday you might be unwell?

[gah2teenagers]

Absolutely you can go ahead but you have to warn everyone as they will all be kissing and hugging you. Are you going to blurt out oh no I remember your ‘whatever relative’ is vulnerable at the last minute or not give a shit.

[MargaretThursday]

I hope all those people saying go ahead won't complain if restrictions need to be brought back in again.

And even if you "know" none of your guests are vulnerable (and it isn't always obvious) you don't know about the staff.

But actually your insurance provider is incorrect. the current guidance is:

Try to stay at home and avoid contact with other people
If you have a positive COVID-19 test result, it is very likely that you have COVID-19 even if you do not have any symptoms. You can pass on the infection to others, even if you have no symptoms.

I really don't think going to a wedding has any signs of trying to stay at home and avoid contact with other people, do you?

[Motnight]

Please tell your guests beforehand.

[JimmyShoo]

You have to tell your guests, they will know anyway. Even if you go ahead, surely you won’t be hugging and kissing people so they’d soon realise why.

I just had covid and it was relatively mild but I also know someone who has it now who is very unwell with it and a colleague that was hospitalised a few weeks ago.

I would still go if I were a guest but you have to give people the opportunity to decide for themselves..

[morningchips]

Please also tell your suppliers. Anyone you'll be in close contact with and anyone who will be there all day (such as your photographer)

It's not just guests who may be vulnerable. Accidentally coming into contact with covid is one thing, but to knowingly expose someone is another. If they pick it up at your wedding it then potentially hinders their ability to be able to attend someone elses day- or as is more likely the case at this time of year, several other peoples day. Please at least give them them courtesy of being able to make an informed decision and take any extra precautions.

[meppy5]

Oh for god's sake. Just don't tell anyone. You wouldn't have tested if it wasn't for work and you wouldn't know. I guarantee some of your guests will have it. Just be warned that you might actually be poorly by Saturday. I think that's your real issue. Best of luck

[KosherDill]

If i learned after the fact that the bride knew and didn't tell us, that would be the end of our relationship with her.

You must allow your guests to make an informed choice. Endangering others in order to have your "dream wedding " is simply beyond the pale.

[Moongazing]

@PaddingtonBearStareAgain

Wow you know the medical status and vulnerability to covid of all 180 guests.

Sorry but I doubt it.

I didn't claim to know everyone's medical status. I was talking those who are the most clinically vulnerable, which are those who were in the shielding category, and yes I do know all my guests well enough to know that none of them fit that criteria. I am not disputing there are other medical conditions that might increase complications etc but that's not what I was saying

[GrandSlamFinalee]

You know the medical status of 180 people? You’re that close to all of them? I have a health condition that only my sibling, my manager at work and 3 VERY important friends know about. Most of my family have no clue, and there’s no need or will for me to share it around, but I’m sure some must think I’m perfectly fine.

You need to let them know. I’d personally have no problem attending your wedding if you were positive, but that’s only if I had nothing vital coming up. There are for example two weekends in August when I would definitely not attend, because I have one of the most important job auditions of my career a few days later. In that case I’d cancel and hope our close relationship would make that ok. You need to let people make their own decisions. There are potential lives, money and future jobs etc on the line here.

[Perfectlystill]

I would def go ahead but make sure I told everyone and then not get cross if they didn't come.

I'm sure lots will have had it recently and so will come anyway.

Bad luck OP. I'm sorry for you.

[Ponderingwindow]

You should tell your guests. You don’t know for sure that they don’t have a medical issue or that they may have someone at home they are protecting. It might be that one of your guests is able to still attend, but needs to quarantine instead of going home afterwards.

[catcurl]

@Moongazing

Except I do know they aren't as they are our close family and friends, I wouldn't say I knew they were if I didn't know that.

I am clinically vulnerable and most close family and friends don't know.

There could be lots of other reasons other people don't want Covid- vulnerable person they care for, self employed, early stages of pregnancy etc.

I'm sorry OP but can't take away the choice from people just so they definitely still attend your wedding.

[TimeToGoUpAGear]

I'd agree that you can't for sure say you KNOW friends aren't clinically vulnerable. I know someone who is immunosuppressed due to taking drugs for an autoimmune condition. Very few family (other than parents) know. No obvious outward symptoms.

[justasking111]

One in 24 have covid I read this week so you'll be in good company. I hope you have a lovely day 💕