Dh expects me to know EVERYTHING

[BrokenToy]

and it’s driving me round the bend. It’s got worse as he’s got older I think.

We were on holiday last week and he was forever asking me questions like what time does the restaurant open or is there food on the catamaran. How the bloody hell should I know? You have the same access to that information as I do!

DD lost an object recently and a neighbour found it today and put it on top of a nearby fence. She sent me a photo and description of where, I’m not home so I sent the screenshot to DH so he could pop out and grab it. He had exactly the same information as me but kept asking me questions like where did she find it, where exactly is the fence etc. I don’t fucking know, again, you have the same information I do.

The trouble is it makes me a bit snappy (I’m definitely getting more intolerant as I get older). He says it’s a compliment that he thinks I know everything, I say it’s infuriating because he’s expecting me to find out the answers for him.

Im not BU to be driven mad by this, right?

So many of these are my dh? He asks me something then starts demanding more info until I snap. It winds me up that the kids think I am snap at there lovely innocent Dad so much.

Mine asks me the stupid questions too… I generally just look at him and give him a smartass answer.

My go to is “Oh, if only you had a little black box in your hand that holds all of the answers to life’s questions.” As I look at his phone.

If I’m fed up it’s usually a pretty straightforward “Now how in the hell am I supposed to know that? I missed the part where I was granted with all knowing omniscience. You can look it up just as easy as I can”

Now in his defense I do tend to know a lot of random crap because I’ve looked it up, but jeez… I don’t know everything.

I reckon! Thankful my husband doesn't do this but if he did, I'd answer with stupid shit made up on the spot or so obviously wrong that only an imbecile would take it as the right answer 😁

I have no idea
Who knows?

Then I silently scream at the wall amd and give him the finger when he walks off

Mine is the same.

He does it less now that I just shrug and stare blankly at him.

Oh my God, this x 100!! I actually had to start prefacing similar exchanges with 'I am about to tell you all I know about X, please do not ask any follow up questions'.

My XH was on a constant hunt for lost keys, pants, airpods.

He rang me the other day as he’d lost his wallet and he’d called round my house earlier in the day. He asked me if he’d left it here although he thought it was at his because that’s where the airtag said it was. Couldn’t make it up. We’ve been divorced four years

Just tonight I told mine that I don’t answer to “Hey Siri,” and he looked so confused.

@BrokenToy

My OH does this too, and I'm as irritated by it as you are..

But I've sort of worked out that it's a sort of unfortunate coincidence of personality types. She just says out loud what's in her head - or, what is even more irritating, texts whatever's in her head. She doesn't really expect me to know the answer.

"When will the Amazon guy get here? What time does B&Q close? Is the surgery just leaving the phone off the hook?"

And I'm an instinctive problem-solver. Comes of being the eldest child in a big family. So as soon as I hear something like that, I feel I'm being given the responsibility to solve the problem - which irritates me, because I can't and, to me, the implication is that I'm failing.

These days I deal with it by giving facetious answers.

"At two minutes past three - I feel it in my water. They now have an open-all-night-to-blondes policy. Yep, they called me specifically to say that, I'll forward the message."

This doesn't solve the larger problem, but it does ensure that she's as irritated as me.

Not DH but my DB

”does the supermarket near mum and dads sell X?”

I don’t live near there, haven’t in 2y, I infact live in another country and he HIMSELF lives less then 10 mins from our parents.

I think my response was “are you taking the piss?”

🤯

I'm a librarian...So he has the option of a quote for my professional hourly rate in min 20min increments to find out for him vs "try a Google search you dufus"

Ex did this. Drove me crazy. Simple things he could work out himself. I was overstretched with kids/work and last thing I needed was the endless intrusion of pointless questions. I didn't even want to find the headspace to answer him at all. Its one of the things that made me develop complete contempt for him.

Stop being a child, be an adult and deal with your shit, yourself.

I have just started answering 99% of all such questions from DH & DC with IDK even if I do, they are all adults FFS!

@WireSkills

Me: Your sister texted (because she knows it's infinitely easier to talk to me) - she said they're running late.

Him: Why?

Me: Don't know - didn't say

Him: Are they get stuck in traffic?

Me: I have no idea

Him: Have they left yet?

Me: I've literally given you all the information I have

Him: Whereabouts are they?

Me: AARRRRGGHHHHH!

Him: What?? I'm only asking - no need to bite my head off....

---------------------

I share your pain. My wife does all that too. But she will go even further. She will speculate on the basis of absolutely no information at all, and draw conclusions from those speculations, and then conjure general truths from those conclusions.

My wife: You know what your sister's done, don't you? She's taken the A217.

Me: Well, I imagine so, yes.

Her: I told her last time she came. It's a nightmare on a Saturday. They should have come through Chessington.

Me: Six and two threes, isn't it?

Her: It's not just her. Your whole family's like that. No one can tell you anything.

Me: To be fair, we don't know that she's on the A217.

Her: Yes, she is. Guarantee it. Did she say what time she thinks they'll be here?

Me: I just showed you the whole text.

Her: Well, I can't hold up dinner. People will be hungry.

Me: It's casserole. It can be served anytime. Do you want me to mop this floor?

Her: No, I'll do it. You won't get the edges. It's so rude to be late. So rude. I expect your stupid brother will be late too.

<doorbell rings>

Me: Apparently not. That'll be him now.

Her: Now? It's only seven-thirty! Fuck! Look at this kitchen!

Me: Well, we said seven-thirty. That's what we told people.

Her: You don't arrive when you're told to! It's so rude to be right on time! So rude.

Me: I'm just going to answer the door.

Her: Fine - you take over. It's your stupid family. God, it's just so....Simon! Alice! Lovely to see you. I'm sorry about the kitchen. I told Walking to mop the floor but...bloody useless! Hahaha.

-----

She's a journalist, worryingly.

I can imagine exactly how you feel. I feel the same way as well. I'm a stay at home mum and have never worked this hard in any office job ever. The questions from husband and kids are incessant, ones that they could answer themselves if they just bothered to use a bit of their own grey matter. It is exhausting and I feel as if my mind is switched on 24/7 with something or the other. To make things worse, my husband never fails to remind me that I am not 'working' and that he is. I'm sick of defending myself so much that I don't bother anymore.

I try to carve quiet time for myself a bit more now. It is taking the family some getting used to but it is the only way for me to keep some semblance of sanity.

@WalkingOnTheCracks

That's hysterical - I actually laughed aloud! You must have the patience of a saint. 😇

Asked husband to get the wallpaper steamer out of the garage. He returned after five minutes insisting I needed to go and find it cos it wasn’t there. Told him precisely where it was. He insisted it wasn’t there. Followed him to the garage and pointed to said steamer, exactly where I’d said it was. He suggested that I should have given specific directions in the first place and not sent him on a wild goose chase. 🙄
Pointed out the the goose was in the precise location I had indicated, but apparently he’d been looking for it in a plastic bag…

My mum is like that with me when we are away. Last time we were away together I did ask her how she expected me to know all this stuff about our destination. She did laugh and say she didn't know really, but I could look things up on my phone more easily (which was probably true!)

Dh was terrible for this. I used to enable it though by giving answers. Now my stock answer is "pass."

DH: Where are my keys?
Me: Pass.

DH: When is the car MOT due?
Me: Pass.

DH: Is this broccoli cooked?
Me: Pass.

It works well and he does it less now!

I do this to my DH.... it's a bad habit for sure.
I ask him the time, if it will rain, if I need to take a jacket etc.
When we started dating he used to offer all sorts of info and I got used to it.
Trying to break the habit though.

Oh I just make up lies. 'What time is Tesco open to?' Me: oh I think it's 24 hours isn't it' him: hmm that doesn't sound right... googles answer, finds out himself.

Do it for long enough and it finally sinks in. Took me 12 years mind.