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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh expects me to know EVERYTHING

221 replies

BrokenToy · 14/07/2022 09:56

and it’s driving me round the bend. It’s got worse as he’s got older I think.

We were on holiday last week and he was forever asking me questions like what time does the restaurant open or is there food on the catamaran. How the bloody hell should I know? You have the same access to that information as I do!

DD lost an object recently and a neighbour found it today and put it on top of a nearby fence. She sent me a photo and description of where, I’m not home so I sent the screenshot to DH so he could pop out and grab it. He had exactly the same information as me but kept asking me questions like where did she find it, where exactly is the fence etc. I don’t fucking know, again, you have the same information I do.

The trouble is it makes me a bit snappy (I’m definitely getting more intolerant as I get older). He says it’s a compliment that he thinks I know everything, I say it’s infuriating because he’s expecting me to find out the answers for him.

Im not BU to be driven mad by this, right?

OP posts:
EfEfEf · 14/07/2022 15:14

Mine asked me yesterday when on the phone to his HR what was the start date of his work contract 😵 This has been the worst so far. I've started telling him 'do I look like you PA'

TheEponymousGrub · 14/07/2022 15:16

OperaStation · 14/07/2022 11:24

Most men I know are like this. They’re fecking lazy and treat their female partners like personal assistants. I’m also getting increasingly intolerant of it as I get older. I often just refuse to answer the question.

This is so mad. I don't know anyone like this - as far as I am aware - and I am in my 50s. Why would anyone do this?

ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 15:17

😂😂

I can see this becoming like a weird tv quiz show where no one wins.

TheEponymousGrub · 14/07/2022 15:17

And also, who voted the OP is unreasonable?!

Longdistance · 14/07/2022 15:18

We must share the same h. I’m surprised how he can actually hold down a job and breathe at the same time.
The fucker’s so disinterested in general about anything that isn’t related or effects him.

TheEponymousGrub · 14/07/2022 15:19

orangeisthenewpuce · 14/07/2022 14:00

I would just make answers up. The restaurant opens at 11pm. There is no food on the catamaran but they are serving hot chocolate. The neighbour found his item in Jeremy Vine's nose. Etc.

This! And also the stuff about "a rhino ate it", "it fell into the sun" etc

DenholmElliot1 · 14/07/2022 15:19

Oh my ! the only way to deal with this without losing your rag is to have some fun with it and amuse yourself.

So, if he asks where something is tell him a place really hard to reach at the furthist end of the house. If he asks what time the train is and its at 2pm, tell him it's at 2.30. If he asks you the start date of his new contract just invent a date. Obviously, don't do this if it will impact you but every single time you can get away with giving an incorrect answer do so! And have a little snigger to yourself.

Easilystartled · 14/07/2022 15:20

YANBU My DH is like this, but he’s also got a Mediterranean macho thing going on, so he asks me but then gets huffy because I’m treating him like a child. Can’t win.

TheEponymousGrub · 14/07/2022 15:21

sleepymum50 · 14/07/2022 11:53

It’s lazy and has become a habit he needs to break.

Can you give him ridiculous answers so he sees how stupid his questions are?

what time are the buses? 5 minutes past midnight on a full moon, but if it’s windy the all stop.

how much is a taxi to the airport? Forty four hundred billion squillion pounds but free if you make a blood sacrifice.

what restaurants are at Gatwick? None, they all spontaneously combusted over night.

Best of luck

And this!

Inthesameboatatmo · 14/07/2022 15:22

He's lazy and this very reason went in my divorce under all the other unreasonable behaviour .

ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 15:23

ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 15:17

😂😂

I can see this becoming like a weird tv quiz show where no one wins.

The quote failed. That was in response to the "Do I like olives?"

"Dunno. Do I like mangosteen" PP

ToastedWaffle · 14/07/2022 15:25

TheEponymousGrub · 14/07/2022 15:17

And also, who voted the OP is unreasonable?!

The OPs husband?

MarshaMelrose · 14/07/2022 15:25

Actually, after the menopause you'll discover you DO know everything and the world is full of ignorant, ill-informed idiots. And menopause destroyed the gene that previously held you back from saying so! 😃

Itdoesntreallymatter · 14/07/2022 15:26

A good reply would be:

"That would be an ecumenical matter". A la Father Ted.

Vikinga · 14/07/2022 15:27

It is like on a forum, one of the women keeps asking the most stupid googable questions and debating in detail complete non problems.

Itdoesntreallymatter · 14/07/2022 15:28

I also get the where are my keys, my shoes, random bit of paper with something important on. It's where you fecking left them and if I have moved them, it's because you left in them in a ridiculously stupid place.

Vikinga · 14/07/2022 15:29

MarshaMelrose · 14/07/2022 15:25

Actually, after the menopause you'll discover you DO know everything and the world is full of ignorant, ill-informed idiots. And menopause destroyed the gene that previously held you back from saying so! 😃

Yup 🤣

Itdoesntreallymatter · 14/07/2022 15:30

Itdoesntreallymatter · 14/07/2022 15:28

I also get the where are my keys, my shoes, random bit of paper with something important on. It's where you fecking left them and if I have moved them, it's because you left in them in a ridiculously stupid place.

Does anyone have this? My OH can't find anything. I sometime wonder if he would be able to find the Eifel Tower in a meadow.

Soilsister · 14/07/2022 15:44

I had a work colleague who was unpacking a box of first aid supplies send me 11 messages the other day one of which was "how many bandages are in this pack" yes the one in his hand with 12 bandages so not too many to count!! I didn't reply :)

whatwasIgoingtosay · 14/07/2022 15:46

He has outsourced his thinking to you. After all, what's the point of having a wife, if you have to think for yourself? (I have the same problem, drives me insane)

feedyourheed · 14/07/2022 15:52

I can't believe how common this is - thought it was just my now ex-h who did this. He asked me the most basic questions all day everyday, even directions that he already knew. It felt like he was sapping my mental energy to preserve his own and with two small children already taking up most of that energy it had me completely frazzled.

It wasn't the only reason I grew to really dislike him but it was certainly a major factor. It began to feel like he was purposely stealing from me - my energy, my time, my mental resources.

TheSummerPalace · 14/07/2022 15:53

On holiday, I put the sun cream every two hours, as per instructions and didn’t get sunburn in the Mediterranean sun. DH thought as it was SPF 50, one application would last him all day. He got sunburnt! When I told him, everybody knows it’s every 2 hours, he said:

”I never read instructions, I expect you to tell me!”

feedyourheed · 14/07/2022 15:55

Longdistance · 14/07/2022 15:18

We must share the same h. I’m surprised how he can actually hold down a job and breathe at the same time.
The fucker’s so disinterested in general about anything that isn’t related or effects him.

Yes my ex-h had a very high powered job which he endlessly told me he was amazing at and everyone else was stupid. It certainly felt the other way round when he was at home!

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/07/2022 16:00

I really shocked DH by asking if he asked this many basic questions at work and how would it be viewed?

dillydally24 · 14/07/2022 16:00

YANBU. My husband does this and it drives me insane. I used to get irritated with him and we'd end up in in a row. Now just say "I don't know" and carry on with what I'm doing. He figures it out for himself in the end.