Dh expects me to know EVERYTHING

[BrokenToy]

and it’s driving me round the bend. It’s got worse as he’s got older I think.

We were on holiday last week and he was forever asking me questions like what time does the restaurant open or is there food on the catamaran. How the bloody hell should I know? You have the same access to that information as I do!

DD lost an object recently and a neighbour found it today and put it on top of a nearby fence. She sent me a photo and description of where, I’m not home so I sent the screenshot to DH so he could pop out and grab it. He had exactly the same information as me but kept asking me questions like where did she find it, where exactly is the fence etc. I don’t fucking know, again, you have the same information I do.

The trouble is it makes me a bit snappy (I’m definitely getting more intolerant as I get older). He says it’s a compliment that he thinks I know everything, I say it’s infuriating because he’s expecting me to find out the answers for him.

Im not BU to be driven mad by this, right?

My DH can do this on occasion and it's really frustrating. I never gave him an answer and it ended when he asked me "do I like olives?"

My expletive filled response about the ridiculousness of expecting me to know how his tastebuds responded to a food better than him, the person housing the tastebuds in his very own mouth, put an end to ridiculous questions. I can see him physically stopping himself sometimes.

So maybe just swear at him a lot in one rant ! Worked for me

Maybe we should all respond by asking equally ridiculous questions.

Do I like olives?

I don't know. Do I like mangosteen?

After a few, ahem, incidents, my husband has been making a sincere effort to look himself before asking me.

Incidents being me snapping his head off for asking me AGAIN why something isn't in a drawer, which effectively means that it isn't the first thing he sees in the drawer.

I would just make answers up. The restaurant opens at 11pm. There is no food on the catamaran but they are serving hot chocolate. The neighbour found his item in Jeremy Vine's nose. Etc.

I'm sorry to say that I have retorted 'use your own brain, not mine' on a couple of occasions.

Another favourite when we have take out is "what do I usually have" ?

I have to own up here, I never remember dishes I have had before in a restaurant.

Oh you have my sympathy. I get this all the time but it's usually

"where are my car keys?"
"do you know where my wallet is?"
"have you seen this really specific item that I've had no interest in for years but now must find urgently?"

Unfortunately, no. Off the top of my head, I do not know what random location you left your possessions in.

Solidarity indeed. An example from DH and me:

Me: Your sister texted (because she knows it's infinitely easier to talk to me) - she said they're running late.
Him: Why?
Me: Don't know - didn't say
Him: Are they get stuck in traffic?
Me: I have no idea
Him: Have they left yet?
Me: I've literally given you all the information I have
Him: Whereabouts are they?
Me: AARRRRGGHHHHH!
Him: What?? I'm only asking - no need to bite my head off....

I frequently respond to DH “I am not your secretary” when he asks me for information that he could look up just as easily as me.

There's a stock phrase in our house.
"Google is your friend here"

LTB

DH does this in waves. Starts slowly with stupid questions, builds up to more stupid questions, I explode, the questions recede for a week or two and then the build up begins again.

My stock answers:

• I’m not Miss Google


• Still not Miss Google


• Darling, I know that I am brilliant but what on earth makes you think I would know that?


• How did you manage (whatever) before you met me?


• You have 2 degrees, various post grad qualifications, a great job, a long and distinguished career, and are well respected in your field (and whatever other compliments I can possibly think of on the spot). Are you seriously telling me that you need me to come over there and read the instructions on the back of the packet?

The last one usually shuts him up for a while but I am, going to have to tread carefully for a while. Two days ago, I had a meltdown when my car wouldn’t start and he had to leave work (in my defence, only ten minutes away) to help. It was a very easy fix and he called a friend to jump start the battery. I am blaming pregnancy hormones for what was a total overreaction on my part.

I can't be dealing with that, it would drive me nutty.

Actually, now I think of it, he used the same bloody tactics on me when I had the meltdown!!!

He told me that with my blah/blah/blah life experiences, I could take care of it all on my own.

Bastard!

These men don’t see their wives as PEOPLE.

At best, they see their wives as extensions of themselves. So, they talk out loud, say things they’d say to themselves if they lived alone.

At worst, they see their wives as PAs, people whose reason for being in their lives is to facilitate their lives.

You all need to tell them to just fuck off with not seeing you as people, as individuals with lives of your own, brains and thoughts and feelings and emotions and a whole internal life of your own.

Unbelievable.

People like this drive me insane. I once went to a wedding with some friends from work and I foolishly offered to book everyone’s train tickets and hotel rooms as it was the simplest way. It was in a city none of us had been to before. For the rest of the trip I was bothered with CONSTANT questions from the others: where is the bus stop? How much is the bus? How far is the walk to the venue? Is there anywhere to get food at the station? Will there be taxis?’ It was relentless. When I woke up hungover the morning after the wedding to find a load of texts asking me ‘is there anywhere around here for breakfast?’ and ‘what time is the train again?’ and ‘how long does it take to walk to the station?’ and other such nonsense, I absolutely lost my shit and told them I’m not their fucking tour guide! Luckily our friendship survived 😁

I think we are married to the same person

Pardon?

It’s got nothing to with ADHD and everything to do with him being a lazy entitled man.

I have one like this too a op. He gets annoyed when I explode 'but I was only asssskjng'! God it drives me round the bend.

I reply with the line from The Hangover when they were asking a doctor for directions ‘it’s on the corner of fuck off and buy a map’. Doesn’t fit all scenarios but gets the point across.

My answers to DH when he does this is one of these:

"If only you had a device located in your hand you could use to find out this information"

or

"I have exactly the same amount of info as you".

He's better than he was and normally gives a sheepish grin!

Oh I’ve thought of another response that we both use to each other!
HYCYBH by Tom Cardy

(maybe NSFW or children present) but it makes me laugh SO much

AppleHa · Today 10:36

When the DC used to do this I just gave a string of ridiculous answers. "Ten. 20,000. 0.456." "It fell into the sun. A rhino ate it." They don't do it anymore.

Oh my god, I love this! A rhino ate it.I am definitely using that.

Mine will stand in another room and ask me loudly "what's this?" Or "what's happened here!" And then gets annoyed that I'm annoyed.

Luckily he's otherwise excellent and capable!

Stop answering and tell him to look stuff up himself

I always say ‘oh I’m not sure, can you look that up for me’ every single time.

when reminding him to do something I say ‘ I’ve told you now so I don’t have to remember this info so it’s mentally ticked off, yes?’. I use that one on my 10 year old but he’s better as he’s started to write lists 🤣