Dh expects me to know EVERYTHING

[BrokenToy]

and it’s driving me round the bend. It’s got worse as he’s got older I think.

We were on holiday last week and he was forever asking me questions like what time does the restaurant open or is there food on the catamaran. How the bloody hell should I know? You have the same access to that information as I do!

DD lost an object recently and a neighbour found it today and put it on top of a nearby fence. She sent me a photo and description of where, I’m not home so I sent the screenshot to DH so he could pop out and grab it. He had exactly the same information as me but kept asking me questions like where did she find it, where exactly is the fence etc. I don’t fucking know, again, you have the same information I do.

The trouble is it makes me a bit snappy (I’m definitely getting more intolerant as I get older). He says it’s a compliment that he thinks I know everything, I say it’s infuriating because he’s expecting me to find out the answers for him.

Im not BU to be driven mad by this, right?

This sends me bonkers!!! Female mental load ten times over cos we bloody carry everything!!!

Ask alexa

God my dh and teenagers are like this all the time. I find it so stressful! I end up snapping! I know I organise everything but it's rippled over into them expecting me to know about absolutely everything.

Oh I have this all the time, the trouble is that I often do know, because I do loads of research, whereas DH does precisely none.

When we go on holiday somewhere new for example, I do make an opening disclaimer when we arrive, 'remember, I have been here just as many times as you.'

Same here 😂

How incredibly annoying. He knows full well it’s not a compliment. He’s trying to keep you in a role of PA / multipurpose support person / servant, because he’s entitled to be served by you and his own time and energy are too precious to spend on things that his assistant could do for him.
Well done @RedCarsGoFaster .

Yeah, I think this is expected of many women. I know my DH and DC certainly treat me this way, they think I somehow know the answer to everything and that I definitely know where everything is in the house. I’m always the go to whenever anyone wants to know something, they treat me like Siri/Alexa.

In response to this sort of thing I often sing

‘I don’t know the answer to that question… if I did I would tell you’ (from The Look of Love by ABC 🤣)

when I do it to my husband he says ‘my balls are made of gristle, not crystal’ 😂

It’s annoying though. It makes you feel like everyone has devolved all responsibility to you.

It's strategic male uselessness, and it's gross and infuriating! Unfortunately some men just stop being adults in a lot of ways when they settle down with a female partner.

However, it's not going to get any better by complaining or by storing up some sarcastic retorts to fire back at him. Tell him you've noticed he asks you a lot of questions and, although he may not realise it, he comes across as demanding when he does that.

He probably doesn't want to make you feel like that! He probably doesn't want to appear useless and needy either. You can both gain a lot from an honest conversation.

It’s so annoying that so many men do this! Is it some inbuilt shitty genetic thing?

Its so arrogant that they think someone else should solve their problems

That shit gets sarcastic answers in our house. I'm not google, Siri, or Alexa.

It's quite funny because our kids have learned to give sarcastic answers to stupid questions now too and I can't help but give em a little fist bump when they do. They're pretty innovative with their answers!

Yanbu.
weirdly, I just clicked on the lgtbmy (or whatever) link from above and look at the example it gave me:

I get this with remembering stuff.

Last time, I said: either it's not important, in which case I won't remember either, or it's important, which means you should be making an effort to remember it.

Sometimes he's just making conversation. Still fucking annoying tho

DH is like this, questions about the most random shit, that I have no way of knowing without Google. I often ignore him

He also does a running commentary while doing chores

I'm going to put bin out, OK?

I'm doing the dishwasher, OK?

I'll stick on this load of washing, OK?

He's not looking for praise (or even a response a lot of the time) but every so often I bite back with WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?

Then he is wounded as he hadn't realised he had said anything. It's just his way of thinking out loud

YADNBU. I hated that from ex.

'What time is it' when we both have our phones in our back pockets really wound me up - total laziness.

Where are my shoes is the biggie from the kids - I'm trying to teach them to think for themselves - where did you put them, which door did you come in, have you looked? and "this is why I always put mine in the same place, so I can find them next time"

I have this exact problem with my dh.

Putting all amusement aside I feel as though I'm heading for a mental breakdown I'm so exhausted with it.

No one in my house can think for themselves. It's bad enough getting asked 20 times a day what's for dinner by the dc to which I've started responding with "I'm not answering you again".

Dh can't go anywhere and do anything without ringing and texting me repeatedly with ridiculous questions that I have no way of answering or resolving.

I get asked "what does this mean/what should I do" relaxing to something on his phone. My stock reply is "I can't read it from here". Amazingly I have not memorised the content of every website

Omg yes the asking me what time it is.

What the actual fuck is that all about? Get your fucking phone out and look just like I'd have to do. Seriously?

Mine always asks where he should park when we drive into a busy car park. I started to point out all the big spaces especially (big car) but he just drives past them. Drive me bananas. "Heres a space,here's a space, there's a space - ok just drive straight past them all and ignore me, why don't you." Grrr

Now I just don't answer him at all.

There's a reason for my username. It was my stock response to DS when he was younger (it seems to have worked, he's now a fully-functioning adult).

I'm with @RedCarsGoFaster - "I explained that he's taking the piss. That he is telling me 40+ times a day that his time is more valuable than mine." Because that is exactly what the constant questioning from an adult represents, that they are more important than you, that you exist to facilitate their life. Well, fuck that shit. 'Google is your friend'.

😂😂😂 Love it!

I don’t know/no idea, would you like me to stop what I am doing and find out for you?

Aargh, I've just remembered what made me flip.

He WOKE ME UP in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to ASK ME THE FUCKING TIME!!

I went absolutely ballistic then got "I'd no idea it was the middle of the night, that's why I asked you for the time" as a response. I think I went even more loopy at that. He has his own phone next to the bed, no need to wake me up to look at mine.

I was beyond furious, it created a HUGE row, and he absolutely didn't get it. Hence why I needed to go in calm and cold a few days later.

mine is the same. I no longer have patience with it either. Its his way of not having to put any effort into thinking about literally anything. It has gotten worse with age. It turns out I have three children, two are teens, and one of them is nearly 50 😪

Most men I know are like this. They’re fecking lazy and treat their female partners like personal assistants. I’m also getting increasingly intolerant of it as I get older. I often just refuse to answer the question.