Dh expects me to know EVERYTHING

[BrokenToy]

and it’s driving me round the bend. It’s got worse as he’s got older I think.

We were on holiday last week and he was forever asking me questions like what time does the restaurant open or is there food on the catamaran. How the bloody hell should I know? You have the same access to that information as I do!

DD lost an object recently and a neighbour found it today and put it on top of a nearby fence. She sent me a photo and description of where, I’m not home so I sent the screenshot to DH so he could pop out and grab it. He had exactly the same information as me but kept asking me questions like where did she find it, where exactly is the fence etc. I don’t fucking know, again, you have the same information I do.

The trouble is it makes me a bit snappy (I’m definitely getting more intolerant as I get older). He says it’s a compliment that he thinks I know everything, I say it’s infuriating because he’s expecting me to find out the answers for him.

Im not BU to be driven mad by this, right?

That's my ploy too. When he asks "Where is xxxx" he's really asking "Do you know where xxxx is, and if not please can you find it?". So I take everything literally. "No, I don't, sorry". He knows asking me to find it would be rude and lazy so he then has to work it out himself/google the shop opening times etc.

My ex used to ring me at work and ask what was for dinner. He would be in the house and I would be 20 miles away with less idea what was i the fridge than he had.

Dear Christ DH goes through phases of this.

My standard response is 'how the fuck should I know?'

It drives me INSANE. It came to a head after he asked me 'where are my car keys?' To which 'I have no idea.' 'Where do you think I could have put them?'

DH used to do that with dates and times of things. After being asked the same thing multiple times I just snapped. Now I just say I don't know and point him towards the family calendar.

It's quite freeing to embrace "I don't know", I use it liberally, even if I do actually know.

Mine does this too and if I get snappy or give sarcastic answers he announces he was just thinking out loud

It drives me up the wall. The trouble with my DH is that on top of the questions, I can’t trust him to get things right. I’ve never known anyone to consistently make so many basic mistakes. So if I shrug and say I don’t know….. how to put the ikea furniture together, or what time the restaurant opens, or what to get his brother for his birthday, or how to stop at fucking red traffic lights, or what ds is allergic to………it all goes to shit and I have to not only do it anyway, but also clean up the mess that he’s created.
phew, rant over.

Oh I get you OP. Mine seems to think I'm the Met Office, the amount of times I get asked 'is it going to rain today?' drives me absolutely potty!

And yes, he gets told to look at his own phone and find out

My DH does something almost as annoying

I tell him something - 'there's going to be a harvest moon tonight '

he looks it up /checks the fact and then says
'you're right' in astonished tones.

I actually have a good memory for facts and a PhD so no idea why he'd be astonished

@WireSkills Me: Your sister texted (because she knows it's infinitely easier to talk to me) - she said they're running late.
Him: Why?
Me: Don't know - didn't say
Him: Are they get stuck in traffic?
Me: I have no idea
Him: Have they left yet?
Me: I've literally given you all the information I have
Him: Whereabouts are they?
Me: AARRRRGGHHHHH!
Him: What?? I'm only asking - no need to bite my head off....

O.M.G this is MY house. Drives me nuts!

I get this too. I remember a lot of things, things that he's forgotten he's told me and conversations we've had...

It drives me up the wall when he denies the facts and also that he told me in the first place.

My husband does this.

He will also ask me to clarify every detail if I ask him to do something.

Example, if I asked him to make our son a sandwich. Does he need to put butter on the sandwich? Does he cut it into two or four? Which bread should he use?

Never mind the fact he has made our son about 11,000 sandwiches before!!

Why are men like this? See also: my husband asking me the details of family events or appointments that I put in his google cal SO HE HAS ACCESS TO THE DETAILS WITHOUT ASKING ME.

It's become such a source of arguments with us lately, we're about to have a baby and I refuse to be the sole gatekeeper of the baby admin as well as our general life admin.

Like many PPs I often wonder aloud how my (successful) dh possibly manages to hold down a job when he can't even open a fridge to check if we've got orange juice without asking me first. He once answered that his memory was selective... in that case you need to select your memory to engage more at home, pal.

GIYF repeatedly

Stands for Google is your friend

Or Google it you fuckwit which may be more appropriate

This made me really laugh! I can almost see him trying not to bite his tongue trying to hold back another daft question. 🌹

I would treat this as if he was just wondering out loud, almost just a form of talking to himself, or making conversation.
so "What shops are there at the airport? Would get an answer along the lines of "ooh , would be fab if there was {favourite shop} there".
"What's in the parcel?" would get a reply of "Let's take a guess, I reckon it's a *", or "hmm, have you ordered anything?".
These sorts of questions are possibly more rhetorical, or certainly should be treated as if they are!

Except.. was he dealing with his own pregnancy hormones at the time? 🌹

They do this then treat you like an idiot when you forget something simple because you have a thousand other thoughts and you’re mentally drained. You’re treated like you know nothing but also constantly asked questions and expected to make all the decisions and do all the problem solving.

I think posters who answer back with a question might be onto something here. I'll try and put the ball back in his court next time I'm asked something stupid. Like, Oh good point, can you check for me😁

I thought I was the only one subjected to a constant barrage of idiotic questions from my DH, so this thread has been eye opening. I’ve always done my best to answer his first few questions, but eventually I end up getting angry and pointing out that a) he’s in possession of exactly the same amount of facts as me, so if he can’t work out the answer then neither can I, and b) asking me the same question once I’ve told him I don’t know the answer just serves to make me even more pissed off 😡

I was coming on to say my husband asks me about the weather !
I tend to ignore him or tell him to look on i hi is phone. I do find it rather pathetic

I'm so glad I found this thread and feel less alone in my frustrations. I really did start to wonder if it was dementia at one point but I don't think it is. He is amazing at organising things important to him. It is just low effort. I've asked him to phrase it as per a pp said "so have you seen?" rather than "where is" as I'm a doer and will always try and sort out a situation I think is my responsibility. He hasn't managed it yet...
My mixed sex team at work do it too and I think it's laziness there as well

I regularly say 'Use your own brain, mine's busy.'

It's lazy and it's outsourcing.

I have a few stock answers now, as well as the above.
'If only there was a way to find out...'
'I could just make up some random crap, see if you believe it...'

And the old faithful
'How would I know?'

My DH is constantly asking me where's this (object),where's that (object) etc in the house;it drives me batshit,he doesn't like it when I tell him he lives here too and I'm not the grand keeper of objects in the house to whichever he replies "well I don't know where you put things" to which I reply in the same place they've always been since we've live here eighteen fucking years.

The most amazing one is where he asked me where the not so small cabinet the kids DVD's use to live was;I'd gotten rid of it two years previously and he hadn't noticed a piece of furniture was missing.

Fairly polite stock answers. (I have a larger list of sarcastic ones 🤣)

1. That’s one you can probably figure out.
2. That sounds like one for Google
3. I’d have to think about that one - might take a while so it’d be quicker for you to find out.
4. It’s one closer to your zone of genius.
5. Well it could be A or B. Which one do you think is right?
6. I don’t think it’d take long to find that one out.

I work with people who constantly do this, so I’ve learned it’s best to deflect and put the ball back in their court - for the sake of empowering them and my own sanity!

It takes a while for people to rewire themselves but once they do, your life gets easier by a ton.