Dh expects me to know EVERYTHING

[BrokenToy]

and it’s driving me round the bend. It’s got worse as he’s got older I think.

We were on holiday last week and he was forever asking me questions like what time does the restaurant open or is there food on the catamaran. How the bloody hell should I know? You have the same access to that information as I do!

DD lost an object recently and a neighbour found it today and put it on top of a nearby fence. She sent me a photo and description of where, I’m not home so I sent the screenshot to DH so he could pop out and grab it. He had exactly the same information as me but kept asking me questions like where did she find it, where exactly is the fence etc. I don’t fucking know, again, you have the same information I do.

The trouble is it makes me a bit snappy (I’m definitely getting more intolerant as I get older). He says it’s a compliment that he thinks I know everything, I say it’s infuriating because he’s expecting me to find out the answers for him.

Im not BU to be driven mad by this, right?

Lol. This has really tickled me!

I'd be tempted to always add some more workload:
Him: I'm loading the diswasher, ok?
You: Great, could you wipe the counter while you're there please!
or
Him: I'm taking the bins out, ok?
You: Great, can I ask you to clean the shed/cut the grass while you're out.
Might discourage him from announcing everything if it gets him more work!

Oh yes. What time does that shop open until? Do I need a raincoat? What time is our flight (the one I copied you in on all the emails for?). It is domestic labour and outsourcing of effort and I’m stopping

Mine does this and it drives me nuts. I will give him some info/gossip that I've had from elsewhere and then before he can even speak, I also have to add 'I have told you all the information I have, I dont know anything else so don't start asking me further questions because I don't know'.

My most used phrase recently seems to be 'what makes you think that I know the answer to everything?'

I had no idea this was so common!

Solidarity, sisters.

DW, Why has this been left out?
Me, because no one, including yourself, put it away?

I regularly get, why isn't my laptop printing out the printer. How do I fix it?

I don't know! I'm not an IT support desk

Also, 'I can't work the telly out'

The man has an Oxbridge first FFS. It doesn't translate into practical skills unfortunately

This would be my response too. Honestly, that woud drive me utterly insane.

It’s lazy and has become a habit he needs to break.

Can you give him ridiculous answers so he sees how stupid his questions are?

what time are the buses? 5 minutes past midnight on a full moon, but if it’s windy the all stop.

how much is a taxi to the airport? Forty four hundred billion squillion pounds but free if you make a blood sacrifice.

what restaurants are at Gatwick? None, they all spontaneously combusted over night.

Best of luck

DH does the infuriating running commentary thing.

And the helplessness. Oh god. ‘How long should I microwave this baked potato for?’ I don’t know, we’ve only done approximately 10,000* of them in our 20 years together, what do you think?

*slight exaggeration but you get the drift

Get it badly wrong a few times

Lol,,,,

My kids often ask me what time it is while we're all in the living room with the clock on the wall for us all to see. I absolutely refuse to answer questions that require me to take the same steps as those asking to find the answer. If DH wants to know what time the Chinese opens, he will need to open the drawer to get the menu instead of me doing it. (Obviously exceptions are made if I'm standing by the drawer or have the menu in my hands.) If the kids want the time, they need to look at the wall just like I have to.

Sometimes it may be easier and quicker to look up and provide answers but doing that sets a standard and you'll always be expected to do it.

I used to get this until I pointed out that it was lazy behaviour on his part and he should try Google instead. It took a while to break the habit but we got there in the end.

NGL, my DH is like this. I swear he would shrivel up and die if I wasn't here.

When he's on his laptop (he sits about 8 feet away from me,) he asks some 4 or 5 times in every 10 minute period how to spell certain words. 'Is it their or there? 'is it your or you're?' 'How do you spell catatonic?' 'How do you spell confusing, is it one F or two?' Along with 'can you come and spellcheck this tweet for me before I submit it.' Every. Fucking. Day. (when he is not at work.. he works 4 days a week one week and 3 the next.)

Our adult DC live half hour's drive from us, and they visit every 4 weeks or so (we visit them in the interim.) EVERY single time they're coming, he's like... 'is it this Sunday they're coming?' 'What time are they coming Sunday?' 'Have they let you know they're still coming?' 'Have you heard from the DC? Are they still coming Sunday?' And EVERY DAY he asks 'have you heard from the DC?' 'Have they posted on Twitter?' 'Have they posted on facebook?' I snapped the other week and said 'YOU have facebook and twitter too, go and look yourself!' Cue a butthurt sad face.

Then there's 'have you seen the tin opener/ tippex/ glasses cleaner/ scissors/ tweezers/ nail clippers etc etc... Like FFS LOOK FOR THEM! Why is it MY JOB to look for stuff for YOU?!!! Again, I have snapped a few times and said 'GET UP OFF YOUR ARSE AND LOOOOOOOOK!'

And 'what time does the doctors open after lunch?' 'What time does Morrisons shut?' 'Is specsavers open on a Sunday?' 'What time does the bank close?' etc etc etc...

It's like SOME men lose the ability to do ANYTHING themselves. I blame myself actually, because I've been enabling it for a few years. He never used to be this way, just once he got to middle age (45-48-ish.) I can't remember my dad/grandfather/uncles/great uncles etc being this way. I could fucking swing for him some days.

Im very happily divorced but have lots of male friends, one of whom I'm going to an event with soon, just an evening thing. Anyway, got the ticket, booked online. Sent him a screenshot saying booking was open, this is my seat number. He messages back, what date, what time, what voucher number, he's very busy don't you know. Gave him info replying 'good job Mummy Tin Hat looks after you, eh'. Got a reply back saying he'd booked using the voucher number but had he actually bought a ticket?!

For fuck fuckety sakes!

No, he hadn't bought a ticket. No he didn't realise, yes he'd used my voucher code (universal tbf), how does he buy a ticket... For someone who is 'very busy', a simple Google would have been far more efficient than messaging me and waiting for my reply.

Men! I'm just hoping the two I gave birth to are more self sufficient with their wives and haven't reverted back to being toddlers!

Every time the door bell goes, I get asked, "Who's that?" before I have made it to the door - drives me bananas!

Mine refuses to remember what day of the week certain activities take place or what the kids' weekly schedule is. It's the same every week and every week, he asks me to remind him. It drives me MAD!

Thank you for bringing this up OP. Reading the replies has really helped me identify what's wrong in our relationship and why I feel so stressed all the time. I'm also married to a 55yo who only talks to me to ask a question. Not great when I've got menopausal brain fog and depression. I'm dreading driving to France with him next week. Headphones all the way I think. I could cope with the kids when they were little cause I knew they'd grow out of it, and they have. DH just gets worse and I'm really starting to hate him for it.

Aaargh! I get this but it might be to do with DP having ADHD. He'll ask the day/date/time when he's sitting on his phone. There are other instances but too many to mention. It's like having a child around sometimes. I mostly reply 'no idea' or Google it. He got arsey when I once said 'aint got a Scooby!'

DH does this as a default before finding information out for himself.

A swift how the fuck should I know does the trick.

I had a teen who went through a phase of this, pure laziness

"No idea" on a loop killed it.

Oh yeah it is more common than you think. A number of women I know have men with similar traits. All 45+ too.

My ex did this. He was a completely lazy and incompetent man. From therapy its been brought to my attention that its actually narcissistic... making you literally cater for his every need, and if anything goes wrong it will obviously be your fault as he removed his own responsibility with wesponised incompetence.

As I said, it makes me wonder how they would function in life without us.