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To let my dd take this to school

204 replies

flightofthesevenmillionbumblebees · 10/07/2022 21:11

Dd (10) loves stranger things and this w/e bought herself a hellfire club water bottle. She goes to a Christian school. The bottle says hellfire club and has an image of the devils head (as in the programme).

Aibu to let her use this water bottle as her school water bottle?? We are not a religious family and I personally think that this is just something from a tv programme (that is not in anyway about devil worshipping or anything actually related to the devil or religion - under those circumstances I might consider it insulting to Christians), and really is no different to her taking in a water bottle that's Harry Potter themed, or Star Wars etc.

The reason I'm even asking is because a couple of weeks ago dd made up this game where she draws the devil and gives him a 'health bar' like in a video game, and she asks you to think of things that might hurt him (e.g being hit by a car, throwing a spear at him, force feeding him cupcakes, being sat on by a giant panda - I've enjoyed the more inventive funny ones) and the health bar goes down until you kill him.

Just a silly thing she thought of and was doing in her notebook at some point during lunch break. Her teacher 'told her off' (I'm not sure how firmly it was said) and basically said it wasn't appropriate to be drawing a devil at a Christian school. So I'm thinking her teacher might also think it inappropriate to have this water bottle.

I personally don't see anything wrong with her having this water bottle (or the game!) and I'm happy to let her take it in tomorrow. But if her teacher tells her she can't have it then aibu to argue this with the teacher or should I just let it go and tell dd she can't take it in?

(Also apologies I'm using talk app so can't enable voting I don't think)

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sashh · 11/07/2022 05:11

Runnerbeansflower · 10/07/2022 21:14

Could I ask why your DD is at a religious school if it doesn't fit with your values?

Not everyone has a choice.

OP You know it's going to be a problem, do you want to set your DD up for that?

I went to a mixture of schools, mostly catholic so we had a model of a man being tortured to death on every wall.

That was fine, but the day a girl brought in a book loaned to her by a JW - well that was passed around in secrecy and kept firmly out of the nun's sight.

In my final year the prefects had sashes, the 'sacristy' prefect who looked after the candles, chalice etc had a little clip on devil she wore on her sash.

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EntertainingandFactual · 11/07/2022 05:17

This has just reminded me of the lad who wanted ‘Deathloop’ on the back of his leavers hoodie and was refused.
It was seen as inappropriate to have the name of a shooter game on the back of a high school hoodie.
His Mum phoned in and said - ‘It’s only a game’ … They were both politely told it wasn’t going to be happening.

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DockOTheBay · 11/07/2022 05:20

You know that they won't like it, so just don't send it in. You may not agree but with the information that she was told off for drawing a devil, that makes it pretty clear what their stance will be on this. Don't make life difficult for your daughter just to prove some sort of point.

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lurker69 · 11/07/2022 05:32

I haven't read the thread but if it it was one of mine i would say 'lets keep your nice new bottle for at home, you don't want it to get lost or broken' because 1 you don't want that to happen & 2 it stops any potential upset at school about it.

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Restlessinthenorth · 11/07/2022 06:06

OP...mental health professional here who deals with safeguarding daily. Your 10 year old watching stranger things is absolutely not a safeguarding issue. School would not make a referral about it as frankly they would be laughed out of town. Your child, your choice.

Don't send the water bottle though, it no doubt contravenes the equipment/uniform policy. Save it for home where it's far less likely to get damaged/lost

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Icecreamsodaloda · 11/07/2022 06:19

Having googled the bottle and assuming your child is still at primary school then I would leave the bottle at home. It's quiet a scary looking image and could upset young children in the school or sensitive classmates, if the teacher already objected to the devil game they are not going to be happy with the bottle!

I've not watched Stranger Things but is the game related to it? Where did the devil fascination come from if not? I assume as you say the school aren't particularly religious she's not learning about the devil as school. I'd personally be a little concerned as to where this game has come from, it's not really usual for non religious ten year old to be fixated on this.

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EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/07/2022 06:28

Icecreamsodaloda · 11/07/2022 06:19

Having googled the bottle and assuming your child is still at primary school then I would leave the bottle at home. It's quiet a scary looking image and could upset young children in the school or sensitive classmates, if the teacher already objected to the devil game they are not going to be happy with the bottle!

I've not watched Stranger Things but is the game related to it? Where did the devil fascination come from if not? I assume as you say the school aren't particularly religious she's not learning about the devil as school. I'd personally be a little concerned as to where this game has come from, it's not really usual for non religious ten year old to be fixated on this.

The hellfire bottle with the devil is the name of the dungeons and dragons group on stranger things, the game is from tik tok

Although mine used to do similar games with piggy from roblox so must have been around longer than tiktok

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pollyglot · 11/07/2022 06:31

I've no idea what ST is all about, but it sounds pretty unpleasant. I presume you are aware of the goings-on of the real Hellfire Club? Leave it at home and stop being provocative.

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EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/07/2022 06:34

pollyglot · 11/07/2022 06:31

I've no idea what ST is all about, but it sounds pretty unpleasant. I presume you are aware of the goings-on of the real Hellfire Club? Leave it at home and stop being provocative.

It's not unpleasant, it's a TV series about a group of young teens set in the 80s and an upside down world where monsters live 🤣

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MushMonster · 11/07/2022 06:34

I do find it disrespectful, so no.
And not appropriate for a 10 year old.

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Icecreamsodaloda · 11/07/2022 06:35

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/07/2022 06:28

The hellfire bottle with the devil is the name of the dungeons and dragons group on stranger things, the game is from tik tok

Although mine used to do similar games with piggy from roblox so must have been around longer than tiktok

Thanks for explaining.

Seriously OP, have you been on the cesspool that is TikTok? Your 10 year old should not be on it! A TV series you review yourself and make a decision on fair enough, but TikTok is full of some very dark, nasty stuff.

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EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/07/2022 06:44

I don't like tiktok and don't let mine watch it but they still end up following some of the ridiculous trends they hear about from other children

Same with fortnight a few years ago with the dances

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ememem84 · 11/07/2022 06:55

I’ve just googled the water bottle. Is it this one? If so I don’t personally think it’s appropriate for school (Christian or otherwise).

To let my dd take this to school
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Genericusername1234 · 11/07/2022 06:56

CatLadyDrinksGin · 10/07/2022 21:37

As an adult who works in a school I’d be flagging it as a safeguarding issue that a 10 year old was watching something inappropriate.

Seriously? That would be a complete waste of everybody’s time. I’ve opened safeguarding for kids watching inappropriate content but I’m talking primary school kids watching or playing games that are very violent or sexual. The safeguarding team really wouldn’t care about this.

I wouldn’t let my 10 old watch it, he’d have nightmares, but lots of 10 year olds would be fine. You probably need some safeguarding training if you would flag this.

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JessicaBrassica · 11/07/2022 06:59

Runnerbeansflower · 10/07/2022 21:25

Are you in NI? Hardly any of the UK has NO secular schools, so not such an unreasonable question for a UK based forum

Of the 6 schools in our SDG, one of them is not CofE. For a choice we would need to drive 8+ miles into town. Rural west midlands. Different for farms and tiny hamlet's but for most of us,catchment school is your village school and for most of us, it's a church school. You don't get a choice in most places although obviously you can apply for out of catchment...

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Genericusername1234 · 11/07/2022 07:01

I wouldn’t take the bottle, I don’t think it’s appropriate for any primary school regardless of faith, but I couldn’t get too worked up about this.

In general tho, I don’t think faith schools should push their beliefs onto families who have no choice about where their kids go to school. Schools should be secular.

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Summerfun54321 · 11/07/2022 07:06

It’s fine for a child to challenge the status quo and rock the boat now again and to think independently. Would I let a child do this over a water bottle based on a TV programme that she’s too young to be watching? No way. You letting her stick 2 fingers up to the school ethos over that water bottle will do you and her no favours.

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Summerfun54321 · 11/07/2022 07:13

@Runnerbeansflower we’re in the southwest of England and there are no local secular primary schools. There are secular secondary schools but the primary are all CofE, there’s no choice.

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justfiveminutes · 11/07/2022 07:17

I think you know it will not be considered suitable for school.

Partly because she has already been told off for drawing pictures of the devil, so this seems like a big old fuck you - if I can't draw a picture then I'll bring in a picture printed on merchandise that everyone will see.

And partly because it is not age-appropriate viewing. It will be logged as a safeguarding concern but it won't meet the threshold to go any further. It will be seen as promoting a show, in the classroom, that children of 10 should not be encouraged to watch. Other parents will not thank you if their children go home asking to watch it. They may see marketing elsewhere, but shouldn't be exposed to it in their classroom.

The obvious solution is just to ask the teacher before she takes it in.

I suspect you are asking here because you want to build an argument for when they inevitably say she can't have it.

Many more drinking bottles in the world, I am sure your precious dd will cope without it if necessary.

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ChagSameachDoreen · 11/07/2022 07:18

It sounds like your daughter has some issues...

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AngelinaFibres · 11/07/2022 07:21

CourtneeLuv · 10/07/2022 21:47

Why would you enjoy any of this Confused

None of this is appropriate for a child, at all.

Because Op is just so very cool. She doesn't live by society's norms, she blazes her own non conforming trail. Your daughter is 10, I expect they will not be sad when she ( you) leave for secondary school.

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RentASnail · 11/07/2022 07:21

EntertainingandFactual · 11/07/2022 05:17

This has just reminded me of the lad who wanted ‘Deathloop’ on the back of his leavers hoodie and was refused.
It was seen as inappropriate to have the name of a shooter game on the back of a high school hoodie.
His Mum phoned in and said - ‘It’s only a game’ … They were both politely told it wasn’t going to be happening.

How ridiculous that mum is, raising a self-entitled idiotic son who, as a young an strapping man, looks to his mummy to convince other people to have his own way even if it's deemed inappropriate. Pitiful 😂

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Newjobnewstart · 11/07/2022 07:24

Op asks a question about a water bottle and everyone jumps on judging her parenting 🙄
Plain bottle for school, hellfire one for home prob the best solution.
My 2 have watched stranger things youngest was 8 when he first saw it, both love it and are fine.

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Goatinthegarden · 11/07/2022 07:30

I teach 10/11 year olds. I tell them that if their parents allow them to watch shows, play games or use social media aimed at older people, that is their prerogative. It wouldn’t automatically be a safeguarding issue.

However, in school, I make pupils aware that we follow age appropriate guidance. Parents of their classmates may not wish their children to be made aware of age inappropriate material and so, for example, I wouldn’t allow pupils to discuss the latest season of Stranger Things in the classroom.

I haven’t seen the water bottle, but if it was emblazoned with something that was obviously inappropriate for a ten year old, I would ask them to put it in their school bag and give them a cup to drink from.

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Sartre · 11/07/2022 07:33

Meh, I can’t get worked up about a 10 year old watching stranger things. It’s a bit scary but some 10 year olds are able to cope with that better than others. Very few other adult themes throughout which I’ve always appreciated, not many sex scenes for example!

I think the water bottle is a little provocative in a CofE school though.

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