To not pay for DD's school trip

[MamaCathy73]

Hi everyone,

My DD is 14 and her school is doing a ski trip for her year group. This is very expensive (upwards of £1000), and we simply cannot afford it. However, all of her friends are going, and she is making a fuss about not being able to go. It would not be completely impossible for us but it would be putting us at risk, and it would definitely impact our lives. She doesn't seem to have much of an idea about money, and she is very frustrated with DH and me.

What should I do?

Yes the pay for a paper round is fairly "crap" when you work it out against adult rates, but my DC earns approx £30 a week (for 45 mins work per day Mon-Fri and an hour on Saturday. He walks fast!)

£30 a week for a year would cover the cost. Not including Christmas tips - my DC did very well last Cmas from tips in cards!

My ds gets 15 quid. I think 30 is very high.

Gosh that's alot! My kids went to private school and the most expensive trip was skiiing for £750, and many couldn't go (it was an extra). The annual Y6 trips to France were cancelled for both my children as so many parents balked at paying the £600 for it - and that was to compliment the syllabus!
I'm surprised all her friends are going - have you checked? But if u can't afford it you can't - this will be her first lesson about the realities of household budgeting - maybe you could sit her down and explain how this works.

School trips were often subsidised for me due to being a low income family.

You should ask the school, don't embarrassment stop you (just in case that is one of the reasons).

@DockOTheBay
You are asking more or less the same question you asked me earlier, which I answered.
The OP has asked for peoples’ opinions regarding a situation she is facing NOW, not similar situations faced by people in the past. I gave an opinion, which I stand by.
I do have ideological issues with some school trips in general, but that’s not what we’re discussing in this thread.
I really don’t understand what you are expecting me to say or do about peoples’ struggles with affording school trips in the past, or 2019, as you refer to specifically?

£15 quid for 6 rounds? (I mean, 6 days a week). That seems really quite low. My other friends kids all get between £24-max £30 per week.

I suppose it depends how many houses/papers. DC has a lot but they are fairly close together round our village. So no walking miles between drops.

His Sat round he needs 2 bags or to go back to the shop to pick up the 2nd lot as the papers are thicker but he's still done in an hour or so.

We live rurally in a little village and the chap who owns the shop is very nice and maybe does pay a little over the odds but the paper boys/girls are loyal and stay for several years usually - rounds are well sought after and he can pick kids he knows will be reliable and pleasant to his customers.

DC has got to know his regulars and helped put bins out, find lost cats and dig out drives in the snow for the elderly ones. All good lessons in community.

My son has a paper round - he's 13. He goes out 6 mornings a week and it takes him about 50 minutes (except Saturdays which has bigger papers and a slightly bigger round). He gets £25pw, which over the year is over £1k. Tell her to pay if it's that important, and if you feel able to you can contribute later

What sheltered lives some have lived if they can't grasp "it would be putting us at risk, and it would definitely impact our lives"!

I had this and the costs don't end there,there was hire of ski suits,skis,spending money,pre trip skiing lessons and new clothes,coat etc.
I was able to pay for the actual holiday beforehand in instalments and I had to go without but they have never forgotten the fun and the thrill of it.
I can't advise you other than to say go with your instincts.🌈

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow
Getting employment at 14 is quite hard but not impossible.
She could instead start her own business by putting flyers around the area for jobs like dog walking, car washing, ironing services etc. you just need some initiative and drive. There's always a way to make pocket money and many people are only to pleased to help especially if she explains why she's raising the money.

When is this trip anyway? Can't think of many places where you can go skiing in July or even for the next months. If it's very far off and provided the money doesn't all have to be paid upfront maybe she can get a job but not if the parents have to pay for it all now as "it would be putting [them] at risk, and it would definitely impact [their] lives". We never know when emergencies will arise and better safe (with money in the bank) than sorry (with paid upfront for a skiing trip).

I absolutely agree with you. No 14yr old has any sort of reasonable earning capacity and there are very few jobs that they can do to earn money because of health and safety regulations. Baby sitting and dog walking are jobs involving responsibilities that 14yr olds cannot have outside the family circle. There doesn't have to be an inquisition, your child knows if you are struggling to make ends meet and you just need to say that you cannot afford it and that there will possibilities further down the line but not this Time. No, they won't all be going, that's a fact so your child won't be left out. If they are having the screaming abdabs and being nasty that just shows a level of immaturity and ingratitude for all the other things you as a parent facilitate. Just take it on the nose. That's life.