To not pay for DD's school trip

[MamaCathy73]

Hi everyone,

My DD is 14 and her school is doing a ski trip for her year group. This is very expensive (upwards of £1000), and we simply cannot afford it. However, all of her friends are going, and she is making a fuss about not being able to go. It would not be completely impossible for us but it would be putting us at risk, and it would definitely impact our lives. She doesn't seem to have much of an idea about money, and she is very frustrated with DH and me.

What should I do?

Can you reach out to the school and say you can’t afford it and see what options they have?
I know for a fact my mum could never afford the full price of the school trip to France but I still went; and a few years later she told me she went to school and said I can pay x amount can you help? And they were able to help with the remaining costs.
Trip wasn’t anywhere near £1k though!

I didn’t say that at all. Fact is that these school bursaries are usually only for low income families. I fully realise that lots of families that are not low income also cannot afford £1k school trips but they’d never qualify for a school bursary so there is no point the OP asking the school if she is not low income. I don’t know her income, so had to specify that the bursaries are for low income families so she could decide if it was worth calling the school or not.

For the record, I would not be able to afford it either, so I hope that puts my advice in context.

My daughter went on a ski trip last year that cost £1600! 😱It's more than we spent for a 2-week AI summer holiday to Tenerife (just before Covid). Anyway, I thought it was bonkers, but my daughter absolutely LOVED it. And having never been skiing before, now wants to go every year.

It’s worth a chat with the school to see if they can throw in a couple hundred. Grandparents? Godparents? Aunts? If you have family who are good at chipping in it will add up, plus whatever her birthday C’mas and possibly summer job washing up and doing chores would be.

Give it a week to see what you can raise - and tell her you are doing it so she understands it’s a mission. And after that if it can’t be done it can’t - she’ll know you tried.

trips like this can be amazing experiences so it’s worth a go.

I say this as someone who also couldn't go on the skiing trip at school because we couldn't afford it. I tantrumed, I cried, I was upset when my mates went and I didn't, but it didn't kill me.

In fact it had no long lasting affects whatsoever, I wasn't traumatised by it, I was jealous before they went and jealous hearing the stories when they got back but two weeks later it was old news.

But there are times as an adult I'm jealous of friends doing something I can't so it's a good lesson in life and really not the end of the world (although it feels like it as a teen!!)

It's great if you can afford these trips, but it's not the end of the world. Lots of kids won't be able to go, she really won't be the only one.

If you could afford to pay half then I'd offer to match her pound for pound and encourage her to earn the money - babysitting, sweeping hair at the local salon, bake sale - there are lots of ways to earn a bit of cash, and I'm guessing it would need to be about £100/month, so £25 week?

It would be good for her to learn the value of money and work. But if that's not doable then honestly don't worry. There will be more opportunities

If you can't afford it then she will just have to understand. I'm sure many parents can't afford that! I recently paid £1400 for our family of 4 to go on holiday and I booked that a year in advance and paid it off in installments, over a grand for a holiday for one person is madness.

I don't see why schools offer these trips, there will only be a handful of parents who can afford to send their kid on it. They did a ski trip when I was in school for a similar price and I didn't even bother asking my mam because I knew it wouldn't be possible. There's plenty of more affordable holiday trips the school could arrange 🤦‍♀️

So how are you going to facilitate that? Or are you just going to have to disappoint her when she can't go every year??

We were in this position.
As PPs have suggested, it is worth speaking to school to see what they can offer.
School paid half of DDs trip. Of the remaining 50%, DD got a part time job to pay half the balance. We paid the remainder. So we ended up paying 25% of the total cost.
Good life lesson for DD, too - things you want aren't always handed to you on a plate!

Look, it’s worth the OP asking -

If you don’t ask you don’t get, and not many low income families are likely to ask, because they wouldn’t be able to afford any of it, or very little. If the OP can raise a few hundred from family, a couple hundred reduction from the school will probably make it doable for her.

It’s surprising what you can get when you ask

I’m sure I’ve seen someone else post similar a few years ago and then after caving in and paying for the trip, her DD didn’t want to go as her friends weren’t going as their parents said no!

If I was me, I’d tell her you can’t afford it. Not with energy prices going up!

Usually, with these trips, there’s a payment plan, so the cost is spread out over time. With Christmas, birthday and earnings contributions, would that make it more doable.

She’s got all summer holidays to work - I’ve got a 15 year old neighbour helping me supervise my kids over the holidays whilst I work from home. She will be making at least £1000 from helping me out (15 hours a week, for 8 weeks, at £10 an hour. Your daughter could easily put flyers through local doors offering child supervision or babysitting services etc. It will be good for her to earn the trip herself!

If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it she has to understand and I’m sure unless it’s private school the majority of her friends won’t all be going!
we said to our DC they can have one big trip in high school DS1 went to NYC similar price to what you paid about 5 years ago when it got to DS2 they were oversubscribed so pulled names out of a hat he was gutted some mates went some didn’t there was no other chance after as Covid hit so we have just paid for his first lads holiday he’s just turned 18, we will do same for our DD

The thing is though they understood and knew they had to sacrifice things there mates had like newest phones with contracts big fancy computer etc life lesson IMO

@myuterusistryingtokillme

Blimey - I think you win the most negative comment of the day.

The PPs daughter has developed a love of ski-ing and the mountains. I doubt the PP can send her daughter every year, but in a couple years holiday jobs will enable her daughter to save up if that’s what she really wants.

But by sending her once, the PP ignited that passion.

I'm surprised at the idea schools would help fund non-curriculum purely fun ski trips. Slightly different to curriculum relevant stuff or the whole year lower cost residentials.

She could have som great fun over summer finding fun ways to earn money to go towards the cost.

Its hardly a trip to support the curriculum is it? Which what this money is presumably for. For the is who genuinely cant afford to go on a trip like... visiting the Imperial War Museum to support their History GCSE or whatever.
Not funding a jolly...

DC is going abroad with school in the Autumn. With spending money it will be £2k. We said 'yes' because they haven't been on any school trips since pre Covid, and a lot of their friends are going. But there are many others that aren't going.

Are all her Freida really going? We had one and I didn't know anyone who went.

My sons class went skiing but we were asked in last yer of primary and the trip was 1st year of High school.It was paid montly to the office and receipts sent out.Much fairer way to make it easier for everybody to go.

I told my kids up front on starting secondary that we couldn't afford things like school trips skiing. They probably already realised this as we've never been abroad and rarely go on holiday. All our spare money goes on the kids dance classes.

It's a very large sum of money. At 14 I think most children understand that.

I wouldn't pay and to be honest I would feel cross at feeling pressured/made to feel guilty about it.

I also doubt "all" her friends are going. 1k is a lot of money, especially at the moment.

Our school ski trip is £1200. There are only 30 places for a year group of 240. Mine have already been told they can't go, nor on the water sports one. One has done a German trip and will be going on a Spanish exchange and the other is doing the music residential, but I just can't afford the skiing.