AIBU to think that Giles Coren wanking into his family’s sofa is revolting?

[unitedcolorsofbattersea]

I posted a thread earlier this week about Giles Coren’s article in which he used the words “fuzzy-wuzzies” which some Mumsnetterz assure me is seriously sophisticated satire, and not dog-whistle racism.

I wonder what Mumsnet thinks of Giles Coren’s article ‘Farewell to Palms’ which is about masturbation. It was originally published in Esquire but has mysteriously been removed from the internet, although I found a link to it on Twitter as it is still accessible via the Way Back Machine: (with a massive trigger warning!):
t.co/LK6tbWAISR

For those who think it is TL; DR:

• Giles cut a hole in his unsuspecting family’s sofa and repeatedly “fucked” it.
• He comes home early from parties and stays up doing cocaine and wanking until his knob was raw while his girlfriend was sleeping next door
• He likes to crack out a crafty wank while his children are waiting to be taken to school

Discuss.

Well, OBVIOUSLY it would be unreasonable if Giles Coren were breaking into a stranger's house and defiling their sofa.

He's clearly not a happy person but he also falls in to the Liz Jones/Sam Brick 'do you really mean this or are you being paid to make people start threads about it on the internets?' camp of feature writers, albeit he'd like to think he's a league above.

You seem a touch invested in this bloke, OP.

No judgement well, not really, the heart wants what the heart wants.

He IS a wanker so no surprise there. He's an unsavoury character.

“obnoxious onanist” is brilliantly alliterated. 👏 👏

I hadn’t really heard of Giles Coren until I read his article last week that included the phrase “fuzzy-wuzzies”. That struck a nerve because I think it’s racist, even as satire, and my children are of mixed race heritage. Then when I looked into him I found that he’s got a long wrap sheet of racist/sexist/homophobic and downright weird behaviour. There are lots of other Mumsnet/Twitter/Reddit threads about him. Obviously it’s something that people seem to be interested in discussing on this forum and others.

As a non penis owner I'm surprised that a sofa would do the job

What the Wnking Fck have I just read? Brain bleach, quick. My cat could write more wittily than that. And not about wanking either. Just sayin.

It's a bit like with toddlers. If bad behaviour achieves attention, the toddler will repeat it.

Giles Coren is essentially a very large, poorly socialised toddler, who has learned that particular patterns of behaviour get him a lot of attention, so he is then repeating that behaviour (ad nauseam). As with a toddler, any attention is good attention....

Threads like this one don't help. Instead of being outraged by it let's all get back to basics... ignore, ignore, ignore. Repeat after me:

"That's nice dear" (said in bored tone).

My eyes. What have I just read?

He has no shame.

😱😱😱🤢🤢🤢

LOL.
Thinks sofa porn and Victorians covering those cabriole legs.

Are you the OP who is fixated about posting about him on MN?

😂😂😂

Ugh I remember reading this before when someone posted about it, it's truly gross. What I don't get is why no one seems to edit him or tell him no. He's written loads of appalling things, why doesn't the editor say "No Giles, you can't write about wanking into a sofa or wanking with your kids around, can you write a proper column please" or "I think we'll take that bit out"? I know he's complained about being edited but tough shit, there's such a thing as inappropriate. (Or there used to be and yes I am old.)

And what his wife is thinking I don't know. I'd leave him instantly for any of the many awful things he's said about her.

I thought you were all talking about that grim scene in BBC's Sherwood.

"No Giles, you can't write about wanking into a sofa or wanking with your kids around, can you write a proper column please" or "I think we'll take that bit out"?

Well exactly 😂
I truly don't know why he does this, as I'm not just doing it, but then shameless sharing it. His children may read this one day, grim.

Why on earth do you believe everything he writes @unitedcolorsofbattersea ?

Surely it's possible it's all fiction to provoke a reaction?

I voted YABU because YABU to give a single toss (sorry) about Giles Coren and his doings.

I suspect she got over it six years ago when it first came out.

I stopped reading him years ago. I'd recommend it.

I think he did have a go at writing fiction, but it didn’t go very well. His novel got bad reviews, hardly sold any copies and he won a Bad Sex Award. He tried to blame it on the fact that there any no successful male novelists. There is another thread about this on Mumsnet: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4395892-Read-this-sex-scene-from-Giles-Coren-s-failed-novel

I read the title as ‘walking’ and was very confused at first

😂 You clearly don’t have a dirty mind!

OMG, yes.😂

Somebody did that (the sofa thing) at a fancy hotel I worked at. I wonder now if it was Giles! < Not envy.