AIBU to think that Giles Coren wanking into his family’s sofa is revolting?

[unitedcolorsofbattersea]

I posted a thread earlier this week about Giles Coren’s article in which he used the words “fuzzy-wuzzies” which some Mumsnetterz assure me is seriously sophisticated satire, and not dog-whistle racism.

I wonder what Mumsnet thinks of Giles Coren’s article ‘Farewell to Palms’ which is about masturbation. It was originally published in Esquire but has mysteriously been removed from the internet, although I found a link to it on Twitter as it is still accessible via the Way Back Machine: (with a massive trigger warning!):
t.co/LK6tbWAISR

For those who think it is TL; DR:

• Giles cut a hole in his unsuspecting family’s sofa and repeatedly “fucked” it.
• He comes home early from parties and stays up doing cocaine and wanking until his knob was raw while his girlfriend was sleeping next door
• He likes to crack out a crafty wank while his children are waiting to be taken to school

Discuss.

Beastiality - ew no

Incest - depends what is meant by incest porn, if it's the filming of an illegal act then no, but if it's a 'I was a bad bad girl, so daddy taught me a hard lesson' type thing can't get my panties in a twist over a very common porn plot line

I wouldn’t have a problem with a member of my family, whether a teenager or otherwise, having sex on a communal piece of furniture e.g. a kitchen table or a rug, but for Giles Coren to ejaculate into a hole in a sofa and then for his unsuspecting family to sit on it seems to take his desire to pleasure himself too far. As well as being weird and unhygienic it seems destructive and disrespectful to his family and their furniture. Lots of people seem to think it’s not a big deal though. I would be very upset if my son, even though he is only 11, ever behaved in that way.

Do you think OP that when stand up comedians tell stories about their lives and funny/weird/sexual things that have happened to them, that they are all the absolute truth?
I feel like you are a little over invested and yes, he’s an intention seeking knob who is just writing deliberately inflammatory things just to get attention and shock folk. Definitely worked here!

@unitedcolorsofbattersea and what do you think family members sit in once teens have had sex on the sofa?

I think there is a difference between having sex on a piece of furniture and someone actually ejaculating into the upholstery!

@unitedcolorsofbattersea then your view on this is a bit distorted compared to reality.

Cum seeps out, gets everywhere, good old mum will still sit in it later on

Well whether he ejaculated into or onto the sofa, or made the whole thing up, I still think he’s a massive wanker and I’m glad he seems to have got himself cancelled from TV jobs. I think that was because of Dawn Foster and the repeated racism incidents though, not from wanking into a cushion.

I think your OP is probably misleading, judging by some of the comments about the article' actual content.

Just returned to this thread to catch up - OMG this is all so disgusting. Hair doughnuts!? And seeping sofas 🤮 I have a teenage DS, I just can’t think he’d do anything like that but am I just naive. boak boak boak

There’s a big difference between fucking on a sofa and FUCKING A SOFA!!