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AIBU?

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Original poster

Tinder date, a hotel, and being stuck

232 replies

missbipolar · 10/07/2022 03:31

So I rather stupidly agreed to go to a different city with a tinder date, he drove as I can't. We got a hotel and had some drinks and it was going OK, but then he started on shots and completely wasted we're now back and the hotel and he's fast asleep while I count down the hours till being able to get the first train. I'm a fucking idiot aren't I?

OP posts:
WafflyVersatileOohOoh · 10/07/2022 03:34

Yes, you are, but you need to get to safety.

can you text his name and your location to a friend?

Can you get out of there now and get a taxi to somewhere safe? Or even go downstairs and sit in reception if there are members of staff around.

ReeseWitherfork · 10/07/2022 03:37

A first date with a hotel room? Maybe thats what the cool kids are doing nowadays but it seems like a stupid idea any which way I look at it. I’m not sure what danger you’re in if he’s asleep, but I don’t think you should wait to find out. Definitely go and sit in reception.

Moretodo · 10/07/2022 03:37

You've got away lightly when I think of the consequences you might have had. What time is the train?
As PP said, can you sit in the lounge downstairs?

bumpyknuckles · 10/07/2022 03:38

Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all done ill-advised things in the heat of the moment. See it as a lesson to be learned and a story to tell, and move on.

First train should be 6ish. Have you got a plan to get to the station? Do you feel safe where you are? If not, the hotel will probably have a lobby you can sit in (or might be able to recommend an all night cafe nearby).

Original poster
missbipolar · 10/07/2022 03:55

Sorry I should of said its not our first date we had a 7 hour first date last weekend so I thought things would be OK. The first train is at 8:05, I feel safeish in the hotel room but its in a really dodgy part of town so not sure I feel safe leaving it either. This place isn't staffed 24/7, I have a friend that knows who I'm with contact and car details and where we are exactly

OP posts:
Lingoflaming · 10/07/2022 04:13

Set your boundaries higher and don't put yourself at risk & in a vulnerable again. Just because you weren't murdered at the 1st date doesn't mean he won't harm you on the second. You got off lightly this time but block and delete so he doesn't have the chance again.

bumpyknuckles · 10/07/2022 04:13

If you Google the station, you might find that it opens a bit earlier than 8 - a lot of them seem to open at 7 on Sundays.

Have you looked on Google maps? There might be somewhere open by the station you can go to. For example, there is a 24 hour McDonald's open by Birmingham New St.

Eastie77Returns · 10/07/2022 04:31

Missing the point but a 7 hour first date?

OP it doesn’t sound as if you are in immediate danger in the room so I wouldn’t go out wandering the streets now in a dodgy area. Places that are open 24/7 are not the best places to visit at this time in the morning.

jharley78 · 10/07/2022 04:37

Lots of us have done stupid things on dates early on in old. Can you catch an Uber home?

ladydoris · 10/07/2022 04:39

Holding hands OP. Please don't do it again, can you stay in the lobby downstairs ? Is it well lighted ?

ladydoris · 10/07/2022 04:40

Uber to your home would be nice.

Original poster
missbipolar · 10/07/2022 04:46

An uber home is about £80 which I cant afford right now. I'm in constant communication with my flatmat, I think I'll leave the hotel about 6 once there's not so many drunk people around?

OP posts:
ExitChasedByABee · 10/07/2022 04:53

Op, this sounds very concerning. At least he’s asleep for now. Are you sure you can’t check-in to another room if it’s not too expensive or wait in the lobby etc. before he wakes up? It sounds very stressful.

He must have known that you won’t be able to drive back so he should have been more responsible unless the plan was to spend the night there?

ExitChasedByABee · 10/07/2022 04:55

@missbipolar Have you checked the Uber cost? It’s not alway the same price and I don’t think it would be a peak time? But if you feel safe enough please take the first train home and next time be cautious of putting yourself in these types of situationsCakeBrew

DatingIsDifficult · 10/07/2022 06:08

You presumably felt safe to agree to a hotel in advance, you both got drunk, why not sleep it off as he is?

Carpy88999 · 10/07/2022 06:16

Where in the OP does it say she's in danger? I must've missed it.

Dajeeling · 10/07/2022 06:17

Apart from getting drunk what has he done that’s so awful? I don’t want to be unkind but I’m going to be truthful- sometimes we have to take a bit of responsibility for our actions OP in order to keep safe. This was a stupid thing to do in every way (any situation where you don’t have an easy escape route is never good) and hopefully something you won’t be repeating after feeling trapped here. Set your boundaries higher.

BritWifeInUSA · 10/07/2022 06:20

WafflyVersatileOohOoh · 10/07/2022 03:34

Yes, you are, but you need to get to safety.

can you text his name and your location to a friend?

Can you get out of there now and get a taxi to somewhere safe? Or even go downstairs and sit in reception if there are members of staff around.

She didn’t say she was in danger. He’s as good as comatose. At most she’s pissed off that the date wasn’t as hot as anticipated and she’s left with MN for company rather than being in the throes of orgasm.

70billionthnamechange · 10/07/2022 06:20

This is all rather dramatic guys. Hope you had fun

LoudingVoice · 10/07/2022 06:23

If the plan originally was always to stay over I assume you just weren’t expecting him to get hammered on shots?

I don’t see that you’re in immediate danger as such, you were always planning to stay in the hotel so apart from get drunk this is what you were expecting to happen?

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/07/2022 06:25

Never leave yourself no options. Ever.

I don't care if you've been with him 20 years.

LoudingVoice · 10/07/2022 06:26

ExitChasedByABee · 10/07/2022 04:53

Op, this sounds very concerning. At least he’s asleep for now. Are you sure you can’t check-in to another room if it’s not too expensive or wait in the lobby etc. before he wakes up? It sounds very stressful.

He must have known that you won’t be able to drive back so he should have been more responsible unless the plan was to spend the night there?

I think it’s quite obvious the plan was to stay there since he was drinking even before the shots and was the one driving.

tearsandtiaras · 10/07/2022 06:27

Not sure what the problem is. You booked a hotel and both got drunk. Aaaaaand. ? lots of drama for nothing

Runningdownthehill · 10/07/2022 06:30

What’s your concern exactly? What do you think he will be like when he wakes up?

LoudingVoice · 10/07/2022 06:31

tearsandtiaras · 10/07/2022 06:27

Not sure what the problem is. You booked a hotel and both got drunk. Aaaaaand. ? lots of drama for nothing

Yeah, just get some sleep like he is, have some breakfast in the morning and when he’s sober enough he can drive home.

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