Tinder date, a hotel, and being stuck

[missbipolar]

So I rather stupidly agreed to go to a different city with a tinder date, he drove as I can't. We got a hotel and had some drinks and it was going OK, but then he started on shots and completely wasted we're now back and the hotel and he's fast asleep while I count down the hours till being able to get the first train. I'm a fucking idiot aren't I?

If OPs date thought she was "easy" because they had already had sex (ignoring the fact we're not back in the 90s thank god) and just wanted more sex, he wouldn't have bothered to have organised a long drive to another city, night out, expense of a hotel room for date two.

His only crime, that we know of, has been getting too drunk and passing out, which has happened to the best of us. It's incredibly inconsiderate considering the context, so am interested in knowing if you're both quite young OP?

They were never planning on going home, they’d booked a hotel.

Why would you go to a different city?

Why would you go somewhere where he was apparently your only option for getting home?

Why would you not say anything when he started drinking, if you were expecting him to drive you home the same evening?

None of it makes any sense

@pinkyredrose obviously it's just the woman!

A man having sex on a second date = stud

Woman = easy

When are we as a society going to stop this ridiculous way of thinking?

Women can and do enjoy sex as much as men. They're entitled to decide how long before they want to have sex with a man,

What on earth are you talking about, she did agree to a hotel, it was clearly always the plan.

Women are allowed to decide if they want to have sex with someone on whatever timescale they like.

“Even if you’ve been with him 20 years”

Are you seriously saying that women who have been with their partners for two decades, men who are possibly the father of their kids, men who live with them with zero sign of abusive behaviour in 20 years, should never spend a night in a hotel with their boyfriend unless they have previously devised a detailed plan of escape in case he turns out to be a murderer? Really?

The hotel was always planned clearly, why is this so difficult for people to comprehend. The OP doesn’t say they only got a hotel because he was drunk.

Honestly the hysteria on this thread is insane isn’t it.

I’m currently away with DH, I’ve forgotten my glasses so can’t drive, better get my escape route sorted in case he turns out to be a serial killer and I can’t get home.

If I was ops friend I'd be advising her to come off Tinder for a while, especially given the last thread re a horrific experience with a Tinder date.
Op, it's absolutely your right to do what you want re dating etc, but I'd be worried you're really not in a mentally and emotionally robust place at the moment so apologies if my previous post reads as flippant to you.

It is difficult to me to comprehend why an adult woman would apparently put herself in a position where she was unable to go home by herself without relying on a person she had met once before.

It is difficult to me to comprehend why you wouldn't meet somewhere where you could get yourself home.

Or why you would go to a different city rather than staying in the one you live in.

Or alternatively, if all of this is fine, why is she complaining and what's her problem?

Can I ask, because I must have miss something important, why is OP probably not in "mentally and emotionally robust place"?

Who says men=Stud.
And since when does drinking liquor ala shots and being inebriated equal good sex.

TBH all parties involved in this soiree sound a little bit devolved from common sense.😂

I totally get where MrsTerryPratchett about always having options.

If you go on holiday to a foreign country and rely entirely on your H to have the money, tickets, passports etc and then he gets knocked down by a bus, or has his bag stolen etc what do you do? I always take a credit card with me so that if anything happens I have my own way of getting home.

XP and I used to have some blinding arguments and he’d say that I wasn’t coming with him on the next leg of our holiday and could find my own way home. As he’d booked all flights and hotels etc I’d be left in a very vulnerable position, so made sure that if needed I could at least get myself a room until he’d calmed down. Obviously he’s now an ex, but it has taught me to never rely 100% on a man without a legally binding contact in place!

I did spot the op’s username and thought there might be more to this.

Ah ok. Got it

If she had been cajoled to stay over at a hotel and hadn't wanted sex and had been forced, MN would quite rightly be up in arms and saying she must get out of danger.

As it is, she chose to stay over at hotel and she did want sex but didn't get any. So MN's up in arms and saying she must get out of danger.

From which we can conclude that an unconscious man you agreed to spend the night with is as dangerous as a concious man you didn't agree to spend the night with.

op do you have form for risky behaviour?
drama?

It's not only not okay to advance search,its it's not okay to take sensitive information from other threads and post it here. MN takes a really dim view and in her shoes I'd be emailing to ask for you to have hour account suspended for that behaviour.

Is there a reason everyone is being nasty?

Really @beautyisthefaceisee? Thread police much? I haven't advanced searched and it is relevant.

asking about risky behaviour is not nasty

The point is that the OP willingly went to a hotel for a repeat of a fun time last weekend but the guy let down his side of the bargain by getting blotto. So instead of having sexy time, the OP feels disrespected and is left thumb-twiddling and wondering why the guy chose getting blotto over having sex with her. Something like that. It's about whether she should stick around for his convenience until he wakes up, or leaving while he's still comatose with her dignity intact.
It's not about him possibly being a comatose knife-wielder.

And also @beautyisthefaceisee thats rather nasty of you too, re the threats of 'I don't like that, I'm going to get your account suspended...'

absolutely @AssignedSlytherinAtBirth