Tinder date, a hotel, and being stuck

[missbipolar]

So I rather stupidly agreed to go to a different city with a tinder date, he drove as I can't. We got a hotel and had some drinks and it was going OK, but then he started on shots and completely wasted we're now back and the hotel and he's fast asleep while I count down the hours till being able to get the first train. I'm a fucking idiot aren't I?

It's not nasty to ask a poster whose name is MissBipolar, and who is posting because she's concerned about having made a "fucking idiot" decision whether risky behaviour is a problem for her.

If OP thought it relevant she would have said that.

I'm not the thread police, but telling a whole thread (and potentially outing Op supild it end up in the daily mail) about psychiatric input is disgusting behaviour. Really not OK. The whole point of Mn is it's an anonymous forum. We are here on a relatively light hearted thread to give her advice on the situation at hand, not for you to decide.

I had a situation a few months ago where I posted a relatively light hearted thread and some dickhead noticed I'd dipped in and out of the alcohol thread and decided to announce that tl the whole of MN.

I was absolutely livid and I did complain about that poster, and MN were very supportive.

If Op chooses to disclose her mental health issues thats up to her, and I am absolutely astounded you cant see that.

He's not a threat though is he? Hope you got some sleep and are home now.

Drama though?pretty dismissive. If it is the case she has bipolar do you think that's a helpful comment, asking her if she has 'form for drama'?

Ik not the thread police, but I do think someone needs to stick up for OP who is getting a bit of a personal attack here.

@missbipolar

Are you well at the moment? A 7 hour first date, then agreeing to hotel date is not sensible.

Hope you are home now

you are welcome to @beautyisthefaceisee but you are simply running other posters done, causing bad feeling

but @beautyisthefaceisee you are assuming she has a diagnosis of bipolar?

Innit. The overreaction on here is ridiculous.

The op agreed to stay in a hotel with him so if he hadn't got so drunk would have been happily shagging. Which is perfectly fine fir adults to do.

He hasn't kidnapped her.

Where's all this danger

Actually @beautyisthefaceisee you seem to be the one stirring up issues and being 'nasty' all with the wide eyed 'but im such a nice person me, I'm only looking out for other people'.
So I'd actually say you are the one going 'look look people are being mean here'.

But what purpose does it serve to ask the OP this question when she's already owned that she knows she made a bad decision and is probably feeling pretty shit about herself right now?

@missbipolar
you are not an idiot, he is

op did not make a bad decision necesarily, but it was ruined by the alcohol

Calm down

JFC what a load of pearl clutching!

OP it's a bad date, doesn't sound like you're in immediate danger. Chalk it up to experience but for gods sake can everyone stop making out like she's in a life or death situation?

Oh, and it doesn't make a blind bit of difference whether they slept together yet or not. Shame on any woman asking that question.

Surely if MN didn't want people to advance search the option wouldn't be there?

I've seen some people advance search before and it's given a completely different version of the actual story which lead people to give better and more specific advice.

Yes sometimes it's abused but I have seen it be helpful

@missbipolar . I hope you are safely home now. I have pm'd you. Please update to let us know you are back, rather than leave us hanging.

OP has been a prolific poster on here over the past few months.

She’s very vulnerable.

Apart from any background knowledge, surely you don’t think that a woman posting at 3.30am, calling herself “missbipolar”, saying she’s counting down the hours until she can get away from the drunk man is her hotel room, and saying she’s a fucking idiot due to the situation she’s ended up in is posting because she wants to brag about the terrific date she’s on?

She did. I have nothing against getting drunk with tinder strangers and ending in an hotel on a bad neighbourhood but she ended up regretting it. deeply.

I'm not running anybody down. I'm referring to their posting behaviour on a forum, which is not them as a person. The attacks on the Op have been very personal

This

No, I dont.

But that's her information to give, not PPs. That's the whole point of MN. We are not jurors.

It's 'in my day' time! We didn't have the internet when I was in my 20s and 30s and almost all dates were arranged from meeting someone 'in person' originally - often via college/university, or work, or out socially in the local area. As a result, we generally knew the person in the first place, so there was much less risk involved.

I have to say that going in someone's car to a hotel after first meeting that person for 7 hours on one occasion is nobody's best plan. This is not addressed specifically to the OP but to all who might read it - you really do need to be a lot more careful than that.

She has eyes
She can read what uouve written.

I never claimed to be a nice person or looking out for other people. I pointed out your posting style was against MN rules, that 0eople were being unnecessarily person, they are.

You can try and turn it round on me all you like, your attempt to paint me as nasty because I called you out for kicking her when shes down is unfounded and pathetic.

So the issue is that the tinder partner got drunk and the hotel room can’t now be used for its original purpose as he’s dead to the world and OP now wants to leave but the trains aren’t yet running and she’s in a dodgy area of town?