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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my dd is overweight

235 replies

HappyMom1122 · 09/07/2022 06:49

My 15 year old daughter is 6'2 and 220 lbs. I definitely think she is overweight. But, my daughter insists that she is not overweight and she does quite good at basketball. She says that she's athletic. She also claims that she's quite as fast as her teammates(which I think she actually is).

But, the number is too high to believe that she isn't overweight. Also, her basketball coach also thinks she's perfectly healthy.

AIBU to think she is overweight?

OP posts:
eurochick · 09/07/2022 07:00

Why don't you calculate her BMI as a starting point..

Caiti19 · 09/07/2022 07:00

Are you in the U.K.? It's generally not a great idea to debate overweight status with your child. If she's active and has a healthy diet, please get off her case before she develops a negative body image. Don't keep too much junk food in the house. She's still a child and you're still largely in control of what's available to eat.

Flangelica · 09/07/2022 07:03

Why are you arguing with your daughter when she says she isn't overweight and telling her that she is? This is si bizarre. Are you trying to give her an eating disorder???

overmydeadbody · 09/07/2022 07:08

What do the charts say for her height and weight? And what is her BMI?

It's good that she's active at least.

Not sure why others are against you talking to her about it. Surely parents have a duty to raise concerns with their teens if they become overweight? They will need help to loose the weight.

ChickenOfTheSea · 09/07/2022 07:08

Why the hell are you getting into arguments about her weight with her that she has to defend herself? You're going to give her a complex.

Glitternails1 · 09/07/2022 07:09

Flangelica · 09/07/2022 07:03

Why are you arguing with your daughter when she says she isn't overweight and telling her that she is? This is si bizarre. Are you trying to give her an eating disorder???

Her Dd has a bmi 28 which means she’s very close to being obese (or maybe this is obese?). OP probably just wants her Dd to avoid health issues that develop from being really overweight. Yes muscle weighs more than fat, but I don’t think OP would be thinking her Dd was fat if she was almost pure muscle. Cook healthy meals and don’t have too many snacks in the house, but stop talking about weight.

pinkfondu · 09/07/2022 07:15

How does she look op?

Passthecake30 · 09/07/2022 07:18

If your daughter thinks she’s fine then you need to be careful what message you deliver. If she looks fat, has a double chin, mid drift roll, thigh rub etc, then she probably is.
Fwiw - I’m 6ft and I did go through a puppy fat stage around my mid teens, I was ravenous during those growing years! As she’s so tall she will weigh more, but 220lbs is clearly too much.

MolliciousIntent · 09/07/2022 07:20

BMI is a completely pointless measurement for athletes, because it's not designed for people with a higher than average degree of muscle mass.

How does she look, OP? If she's overweight she'll look it.

MadameMinimes · 09/07/2022 07:22

OP- you’ve posted about this before if I recall correctly?
Your daughter is athletic and active and her basketball coach is happy with her physical conditioning. I seem to recall that she competes in basketball at quite a high level. Leave her alone and stop going on about her weight.

MadameMinimes · 09/07/2022 07:23

The OP posted a picture before. The daughter looked very tall and athletic, not fat.

Auslaenderin · 09/07/2022 07:25

220 lbs is over 99 kilos. If you look at the English mens rugby team, many of the players are around 6’2 in height but only the forwards weigh over 100 kilos. The wingers and the backs are around the 92 kilo mark.

A 15 year old girl who weighs 99 kilos is definitely overweight. Let’s stop deluding ourselves with all this “athletes weigh more” talk.

FLOWER1982 · 09/07/2022 07:28

BMI is 28.

SkirridHill · 09/07/2022 07:28

If she's competing in a sport like basketball she sounds like she's pretty fit. I'm not sure what benefit there is in debating her weight with her - it doesn't exactly smack of being a supportive parent.

FWIW, my mother used to criticise my weight for years despite my being a size 10 for much of my life, and all it did was make me paranoid and led to a crap relationship with food.

thebutcherswife · 09/07/2022 07:31

Glitternails1 · 09/07/2022 07:09

Her Dd has a bmi 28 which means she’s very close to being obese (or maybe this is obese?). OP probably just wants her Dd to avoid health issues that develop from being really overweight. Yes muscle weighs more than fat, but I don’t think OP would be thinking her Dd was fat if she was almost pure muscle. Cook healthy meals and don’t have too many snacks in the house, but stop talking about weight.

Show quote history

Muscle does not weigh more than fat, it takes up less space as it is more dense but a kg is still a kg whether it’s a kg of feathers or a kilo of rocks.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/07/2022 07:34

MolliciousIntent · 09/07/2022 07:20

BMI is a completely pointless measurement for athletes, because it's not designed for people with a higher than average degree of muscle mass.

How does she look, OP? If she's overweight she'll look it.

Playing basketball doesn’t make her an athlete! BMI is a good tool to use for most of the population.

But this isn’t a battle to have OP, I agree with the rest of the comments

ShirleyPhallus · 09/07/2022 07:35

MadameMinimes · 09/07/2022 07:23

The OP posted a picture before. The daughter looked very tall and athletic, not fat.

My god, imagine the issues you’d have if your mum posted a photo of you on a forum to ask people if they thought you were fat?!

Hatsoff5 · 09/07/2022 07:38

How much do you weigh OP?

Children usually get their genes from the parents (the cheek).

Thatsplentyjack · 09/07/2022 07:39

Hard to know without seeing her, not sire why you're making it into a big deal and talking to her basketball coach about it.

Marvellousmadness · 09/07/2022 07:40

Dont look at bmi
Look at her body then you'll know.

Original poster
HappyMom1122 · 09/07/2022 07:42

Hatsoff5 · 09/07/2022 07:38

How much do you weigh OP?

Children usually get their genes from the parents (the cheek).

I weigh 145 pounds at 5'9.

OP posts:
SagaNorenLansrimMalmo · 09/07/2022 07:42

She’s likely to be pretty overweight. My bench mark is my own 15 year old, who is an inch taller, 15kg lighter and plays second row in rugby and so works out a lot - he is much broader and muscled than usual kids his age. And he’s pushing the overweight category, so I don’t see how your daughter can’t be…

MissMaple82 · 09/07/2022 07:42

pinkfondu · 09/07/2022 07:15

How does she look op?

Well cleay she thinks she looks overweight

Happymum12345 · 09/07/2022 07:43

Why are you discussing this with your dd? She sounds confident, active and ok with everything. Be grateful to have a dd that feels she’s a fine weight.

Original poster
HappyMom1122 · 09/07/2022 07:43

Thatsplentyjack · 09/07/2022 07:39

Hard to know without seeing her, not sire why you're making it into a big deal and talking to her basketball coach about it.

I didn't talk with him about that. My dd talked with him.

OP posts:
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