AIBU to think my dd is overweight

[HappyMom1122]

My 15 year old daughter is 6'2 and 220 lbs. I definitely think she is overweight. But, my daughter insists that she is not overweight and she does quite good at basketball. She says that she's athletic. She also claims that she's quite as fast as her teammates(which I think she actually is).

But, the number is too high to believe that she isn't overweight. Also, her basketball coach also thinks she's perfectly healthy.

AIBU to think she is overweight?

OP will definitely look very thin at her height and at around 10 stoneish.

Wtf.

She sounds like a fit healthy athletic teenager.

Being slim isn't a morality issue.

My DD is really slim, she barely moves unless she has too she has an unhealthy mind, what I'd do for a sporty outgoing DC. (Obviously I don't share this with my DD).

Leave her alone you'll damage her confidence.

My DS OTOH is sitting at 97 centile for weight, height and 99centile head size.
He's 7 and definitely has an unnatural appetite he is never full.

I've a slim and a chunky DC.

So, honestly, if yall think my approach would lead her to eating disorder or something, how would yall approach in this scenerio?

How can you solve this problem if my dd thinks it's not a problem?

Oh my god leave the kid alone
she has already had to ‘insist’ she’s not fat to you.
you’ve apparently posted her measurements online and don’t seem to want to drop the subject
Her coach has said she’s fine

she eats healthy and exercises.

if she’s fat she knows, she doesn’t need you to keep going on about it.

surely if she’s that fat you know too, you don’t need to come here to ask. Honestly just leave her alone your poor DD

So honestly, if yall think my approach would lead her to eating disorder or something, how would yall approach in this scenerio?

I have done the maths she is on a slippery slope.

I'd personally cook fake away recipes from slimming world and other sites.

If she is binge eating sweets reduce the amount that you buy.

You have to have a positive chat with her, if she has access to cash you'll be wasting time cooking healthy meals when she can fill up another way.

I was advised to distract DS it is working he is 7 so easier to control though in the future his weight will be an issue, it's apparently a sensory thing so keeping them busy helps.

Are you in a position to pay for counselling cbt therapy?.

Sorry for the way the quote worked . Yes, I was agreeing with you that there is no way that a sporty schoolgirl can be compared to an elite professional rugby player.

A teen girl that's happy with her body is rare. Why the hell are you trying to destroy her confidence?

surely if she’s that fat you know too, you don’t need to come here to ask. Honestly just leave her alone your poor DD

In 10 years without intervention her DD weight will multiply approximately 1 stone per year.

She'll be a young woman at 25 who'll be morbidly obese.

I assume she was always a bigger child judging by her height now?

Should we ignore as parents?

Would we if it was alcohol or cigarettes damaging their health?

Well, it's very tough for me. But how can I ignore her problems? I'll have to solve that, right?

When I was 15, my parents took me to the doctors as they thought I was overweight. They'd been overweight themselves as teenagers and were desperate to avoid the same happening to me. The doctor said my weight was fine and then asked to speak to me privately to 'check everything was ok at home'. It was! I came from a loving home but there was always this constant hangup about weight and food because both parents didn't want me to be bullied as they had been.

I learned early on that food was the enemy and gaining weight was right up there in the disappointments list. I never was overweight as a teenager and young adult but because of my love/hate relationship with food, I gained sharply in my 20s and 30s. I struggle massively today and am always 'on a diet' or obsessing about how I look and if I'm fatter this week than I was last week. I don't blame my family but I know that when there's this big emphasis on perceived weight or build, it makes you start to believe there's something fundamentally wrong with you.

Your daughter sounds happy, healthy and active. If you want her to become a well balanced adult who walks tall in her glorious height, apologise and never bring it up again.

OMG, no way. That can't happen. I'll have to fix it.

Yeah, she was always a bigger child.

'In 10 years without intervention her DD weight will multiply approximately 1 stone per year'

Cool. Why?

I’m always the first to say that we don’t know what a healthy body looks like these days and loads of our DC are overweight. But at 6’2 I don’t think her weight is that bad, she’s obviously very athletic.

I’m guessing you had problems with your size, OP, the fact you seem to be obsessing over your DD’s weight? Two threads about overweight basketball playing DDs is some coincidence.

Don’t forget she is still very much at the puppy fat stage and if she eats healthily and exercises well any excess weight will probably drop off her as she becomes an adult. Just keep an eye on her.

Consider the possibility that she is right, that it’s NOT a problem.

In 10 years without intervention her DD weight will multiply approximately 1 stone per year.

How can you possibly know that?

She is overweight. It’s about 15 stone. Even for a 6’2 MAN that’s overweight. My dd is 6’1 at 13, so also extremely tall & is on a sports scholarship & does competitive sports for 15/20 hours a week - she weights 138 lbs (just under 10 stone) for comparison.

BMI is actually incredibly useful for MOST people - and a few hours of basketball a week will not be enough to skew her result. She’s not a power lifter. People can look for excuses all day but ultimately no 15 year old girl should weigh 15 stone, even if she is very tall. People have forgotten what normal sized people are (like the lady that said you must be incredibly slim when actually your bmi is very middle-range at 22) being obese & overweight is a huge problem that so many people are in denial about.

OP I’d just make sure your meals are mega-heathy, large but low-ish in calories & that all your available snacks in the house are healthy (rice cakes, crackers, low calorie lollies etc instead of cakes & biscuits) At her height she will always eat more than most people (my dd certainly does!) so you need to know that, but just make sure there’s only healthy options available to keep a hold on this now. Most teens drop sports as they get older, so if she follows that trend but carries on eating too much 15 stone could end up 16, 17, 18 etc which is way too heavy.

Shame, AND her professional sports coach don’t think she has a problem, that she has a very healthy, fit, unusually scaled (tho not for basketball) body.
it sounds like you’re very invested that a version of your body shape and size is the default and your daughter is ‘wrong’ in some way. Once you’ve succeeded in ruining her confidence in her weight, are you going to arrange for limb shortening so she’s not such a giant tall freak too?

OP will definitely look very thin at her height and at around 10 stoneish

When I was 10 stone (I’m and 5ft 9 myself) I can tell you I looked like I was 6 months pregnant.

people carry weight differently so you can’t say someone will definitely look very thin at that weight/height.

I mean this kindly, the pp's who are suffering obesity who feel their parents pushing the issues are the causes of it, isn't it more likely that the parents had genuine concerns about your future eating habits seeing patterns starting when you were younger and tried intervention albeit badly.

Without help now DS will be morbidly obese as a teenager.

He is in every sport but being at the above 97 centile with a love of food it is a challenge, he is overweight already aged 7.

That should read “She, and her professional coach..”

(Morgan Freeman voiceover) "But there was no intervention. OP's daughter's weight continued to multiply (sic) approximately 1 stone per year. By 45, she weighed 45 stone - 2.5 Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnsons. Or 95 gallons of kerosene."

Didn’t you post this thread?

BMI is a completely pointless measurement for athletes, because it's not designed for people with a higher than average degree of muscle mass

Can we please stop this nonsense? Firstly, OPs daughter is not a professional athlete. Secondly, even if she was, the vast majority of athletes are still well within a healthy BMI.
Choose the most muscular female athlete you can think of. Nicola Adams, the boxer? Less than 8st at 5ft 4. Jessica Ennis? 9st at 5ft 7. Caster Semenya? 11st at 5ft 10. All well within a healthy BMI.

Even going back years, to Fatima Whitbread - butt of several jokes for being big - and she was 10st 10 at 5ft 6ins.

Are we seriously saying the OPs 15-year-old has more muscle mass than this lot and therefore BMI doesn't apply?

That said, OP, there are ways and means to help your daughter, and gently supporting her to eat well and keep exercising is the best one. Making her feel insecure will only exacerbate the problem.

Nope.