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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unclear wedding invite

205 replies

Thinkingoutloud3 · 06/07/2022 14:33

More of a WWYD than AIBU

Received a wedding invite from a friend back in March for a wedding this August. It was an email invite and didn’t provide a lot of info but I saw it said 2-2.30pm wedding ceremony and 8.30pm-12am wedding reception. I accepted the invite.

Met with a friend last week who is also invited and she mentioned the wedding and said did I noticed we aren’t invited to the wedding breakfast and asked what I plan to do in-between. This has now caused some confusion as I assumed a ceremony invite meant you were there for the entire day? But as it doesn’t mention the wedding breakfast or any dietary requirements friend thinks we aren’t invited to that. I don’t want to turn up expecting to go to the whole day if that’s not the case, but also don’t want to turn up and then hang around for 6 hours.

Obvious thing is to ask but I just can’t get past that someone would invite you to the ceremony and then expect you to come back 6 hours later, and I don’t want to make it awkward if I say ‘am I invited to the meal or not’ and they say no? And then I excuse myself from the ceremony.

Any ideas how to approach this one ?

OP posts:
Haribosweets · 06/07/2022 21:41

I had this once. Ceremony invite and evening do only. It was more local though. However my friends who had the same invite we all went on pub crawl for the afternoon and then went to the evening slightly tipsy! I never told the bride this but the afternoon bar crawl was 100 times better than the evening do. It finished at 9pm!

Johnnysgirl · 06/07/2022 21:44

Haribosweets · 06/07/2022 21:41

I had this once. Ceremony invite and evening do only. It was more local though. However my friends who had the same invite we all went on pub crawl for the afternoon and then went to the evening slightly tipsy! I never told the bride this but the afternoon bar crawl was 100 times better than the evening do. It finished at 9pm!

Shock. You were supposed to hang around all afternoon for the big spectacular evening extravaganza which finished at 9pm??

Friendship101 · 06/07/2022 21:45

Do a meal with your friends and a bar crawl! You’ll have loads of fun and won’t turn up anymore pissed than those who’ve been there all day

Dic · 06/07/2022 22:43

Just email and say you'll only be going to the evening do

KatherineofGaunt · 07/07/2022 08:56

PurBal · 06/07/2022 18:39

It’s rude and it shouldn’t happen but alas it does. I don’t accept invitations like this. My brother was asked to read at a wedding once and only found out after he accepted that he wasn’t invited to the reception only the evening do. Legally the ceremony is open to all.

😲 Close enough to the bride and/or groom to do a reading, but not close enough to invite to the wedding breakfast?! Is he an actor and did they want someone who could read well to do the reading?

Please tell me he declined the offer.

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