To say No to a stranger

[Myhousemyrules22]

Firstly, I know I am not being unreasonable, I just need a rant and a whinge.

My manager has asked me to house one of our new locums and has accused me of being racists and sexist for saying no. Their race is not amongst any of the reasons I'm refusing but I'm furious it's been insinuated.

I previously had a different locum stay with me. They stayed 2 weeks, only Monday to Friday. I'd already worked with the woman for a year, built up a great rapport and friendship and she asked me as a favour as she had some temporary transport issues.

The new locum I met at 9.30 this morning. He is looking for a long term room to let (6-12 months). He's already said something that makes me think he's not someone I would like to be more than civil colleagues with.

My male manager has accused me of being racists because this new locum is of BME origin. The fact is he is a strange man and as a woman living otherwise alone I wouldn't feel comfortable. This then led to me being told I'm sexist (because I've previously agreed to my female colleague stay).

My house is my home. Surely I get to decide who stays without being accused of bigotry.

You need to make a formal complaint to HR about your manager’s accusations. Absolutely disgraceful. If he doesn’t understand why you may not want a strange man in your home he is a moron,

You're absolutely not being unreasonable. Your house is your house. Even if it's accommodation provided as part of the job, it's still yours. It's not for your boss to arrange for other people to stay with you, regardless of who they are!

If your boss is this concerned that your colleague has somewhere to stay, he can offer his own home...

What? Why can't your manager put him up, then?

He is being staggeringly, mind-blowingly so, so unreasonable it defies belief!

Was he possibly joking??

You're definitely not being unreasonable at all. You accommodated the previous colleague as more of a personal favour. I would consider bringing in HR if he continues to harass you about this and accuse you of being racist and sexist. Is any of the conversation in writing? If he starts up again verbally then maybe follow up by email.

Ask the manager why HE can’t have strange man in his house EVERY TIME HE ASKS YOU! … he will stop!

Another vote for a complaint. Totally unacceptable behaviour.

That's so outrageous it's funny. Why can't your manager put him up?

This, OP. Disgraceful behaviour from your manager that should not go unchallenged.

Your manager is a complete prick

He has made an extremely serious, reputation and career damaging allegation against you OP and you would be very unwise not to formally challenge it.

Just to clarify, your employer is insisting you let a colleague live in your personal home? Not employee accommodation of any kind?

It seems like he’s calling you racist and sexist so that you’re guilted into having him stay with you.

That kind of bullying smear is absolutely disgraceful. Aim your formal complaint about that vile manager, right over his head to the top of the ladder.

Wow; I'd send him an email repeating his accusations so these are recorded and copy in HR, this is absolutely awful

Omg this is really bad! You have the right to set boundaries on your own home and your own time for whatever reason you want! Your manager is treating it like you've said you wouldn't spend time with this locum at work! I'd definitely bring off to HR with this one!

They can't insist but they're effectively trying to bully me into allowing it. I've emailed HR and copied in his manager (who works over multiple sites and isn't here today) and my union rep.

Its my house, I own it/pay the mortgage.

I appreciate the manager is desperate. Our department is on its knees through short staffing and rentals round here are currently in short supply. But that's not my problem. Its not so much the initial asking. I like to help people and yes the room is empty. Its the things he's then said about me for saying no that's infuriated me.

I know I'm not in the wrong. I suspect I'll have a very big apology by the end of the day.

Yes, make a formal complaint. Your manager is completely wrong and needs to be told that.

YANBU. You are not a hotel!

Yes complain about your manager.

If your company needed accommodation for staff they could rent a flat. Landlords are delighted to have a corporate let.

You're definitely owed a very big apology, I can't believe the cheek

Well done for taking it further @Myhousemyrules22 , unless they want to lose another member of the team they should take it seriously

He should be disciplined.

Those are extremely serious allegations, and I'm glad you are taking it further. What an idiotic twat of a man.

Glad you've made a complaint and hope you get that big apology! Agree the manager should be housing the locum if he is so worried! He is an idiot if he can't recognise the difference between housing another woman you know well, and a complete male stranger, as a single woman!

Apart from anything else if you have already housed one staff member then you should be at the bottom of the list (not that anyone should be expected to house a colleague at all, it's a ridiculous expectation!) not the top, as you've done your "turn"!