Racist message in group chat WWYD?

[Thebeastofsleep]

DH, not me. Is in a group chat for an up coming stag group. DH only knows he stag and no other attendees/ group members. One group member has been posting 'banter' in the chat - memes, videos etc. Most of these have been fairly normal fodder, some slightly offensive. No one in the group has reciprocated/ commented on these but he keeps doing it. Stag has commented that its a group to plan the stag do, not a jokes thread and tried to get it back on track. Now the same person has posted an overtly racist video. Its shocking. DH is absolutely outraged.

WWYD:

1. comment that the video is completely in appropriate and leave the group and not attend the stag do.
2. comment that the video is completely inappropriate and leave group but still attend the do.
3. comment as above but stay in the group and attend.
4. say nothing, leave the group.
5. say nothing, act like it didn't happen.

DH is erring on 1 at the moment but he has no idea who this person is in relation to the stag/ rest of the group other than he isn't the best man.

2 or 3. In some ways 3 means he can keep calling it out if it keeps happening....

2 Challenge it there and then, refuse to discuss it, carry on with stag do and wedding.

Sorry, I meant 3

Your husband’s choice surely?

3

3… but I’d be willing to do 2 or 1 depending on the response from the rest of the group to doing 3.

Comment, stay in the group for the drama and to feed back to us to see if anyone else agrees. Attending the stag do is neither here nor there for me, if he doesn't know anyone else

DH would do 2 or 3 but to my shame I would probably do 5.

3, I'd stay in the group to see how the others react and he should be the one to leave the group.

I’d go for 3, I’d also have a word with groom to find out his opinion, that might push me to 1. I absolutely believe we need to actively call out racism and give no one the impression that it’s okay.

6. message the stag and ask him wtf is up with this guy and how the stag knows him?

Quite clearly he’s asked for his wife’s opinion and she is asking here.

I would do 2, and speak to the stag separately. His response would determine whether or not I still attended.

3

3), and see how it pans out. You may have to switch to 2) or 1) afterwards depending on the response.

I wouldn't really be interested in the stag do where I only knew the groom, unless it was my brother.

I would definitely call them out on it on the chat and if I wasn't backed up by the others I certainly wouldn't go to the stag do. I wouldn't want to mix with them.

3 and then see how things go before deciding what to do next.

Yes, it is his choice. He has asked me for my opinion.

The wedding is non-negotiable. Don't know that this guy will be at the wedding but assuming so.

I’d be tempted by 1, purely because I don’t think I could spend a minute having fun with someone who I know to be racist. 2 and 3 are good but he then has to spend time with this awful person after he’s called out their racism.

1. He shouldn't leave the group due to other person's inappropriate comments. I would also speak to groom.

Yeah, 6. Message the stag and get him to pm this person.and tell them to behave.

I’m hovering between 1 and 2. Definitely challenge but if I’m the only one challenging then it would make me not want to go. If everyone is equally disgusted and willing to stand up to this idiot then I’d probably stick around. Makes you wonder about the stag tho…he obviously likes him.

There's a report button on watsapp. Your DH needs to report it!

Prob wouldn't say anything as it’s banter but maybe distance from this person