To have not found this woman hilarious?

[AllHailKingLouis]

Went to visit my mum - there were a few family members there (aunts) and a family friend who I don’t know well.

Im rather socially awkward (ASD/ADHD) so find it hard to join in conversations but I do try otherwise people say I’m being standoffish.

My mum suddenly said “KingLouis, you like horses don't you? Well Lisa (family friend) has two!”. Everyone looks at me for a response so I say “oh yes, I love horses - I am a bit nervous about them though”.

Lisa says “Nervous??? Why??”

I say “well, they’re big … and unpredictable”

Lisa “no more unpredictable than your average human love”.

everyone starts laughing. I’m feeling awkward now and just reply “yeah, that’s true I suppose”.

my mum says “you used to go horse riding didn’t you KingLouis?”

me: “I went a few times when I was younger”

Lisa: “why did you stop? Too much hard work?”

Everyone laughs.

Me: “No, I became frightened of injury if I were to fall off”

Lisa “Don’t get on the bastard then!”

everyone falls into hysterics and start saying stuff like “oh! Good old Lisa! Tells it like it is! She’s so funny!”

I made my excuses and left. Nothing hilarious about a rude obnoxious person who sets out to make someone uncomfortable.

my mum later called me asking why I’d “gone off in a mood” about Lisa “having a laugh”. I said I wasn’t in a mood, just didn’t find her attitude necessary. My mum said “oh that’s just Lisa! You’ll have to get used to her I’m afraid! She won’t mollycoddle you! Haha”

well no, I don’t need to get used to her, and I don’t want mollycoddling. I’ll just choose not to spend my time around family when she’s around! Everyone involved thinks I’m being a baby about it.

AIBU?

Lisa sounds like a tedious dickhead. I don’t think it was you me social skills that were an issue in this situation!

It was also your mum feeding it though?

Different personalities that's all. Don't let it upset you.

Lisa sounds a knob

Lisa sounds exhausting and I can't understand why any of what she was saying was funny or even pertinent. YANBU

She doesn’t sound very funny to me, but not everyone is funny and we don’t all find the same things funny. I really wouldn’t give this any more thought.

In future though if you have to talk with her try to be more vague in your answers so there’s nothing for her to “say it like it is” about. So in the above scenario stop at oh yes I love horses but don’t tell her you are nervous. Why did you stop “oh not really sure was a long time ago”
sounds like Lisa likes an audience so in her case feel free to be quiet and stand off ish!

She sounds tedious as hell.

'Don't get on the bastard then

...uh, well that's exactly what you'd just said about stopping the riding lessons.

Duh!

These ‘tell like it’s is’ types are just arrogant arseholes who people go along with because they don’t want to be targeted by them.
They usually don’t like it when people do it back, can’t take the shit their throwing.

Lisa wants to be the centre of attention. I would avoid her. The trouble is your mum was feeding her lines. It sounds like she's a show off as well.

Lisa is proud of the fact that she has no social skills as she dislikes humans and is all about her horses. I can appreciate that as I’m the same with dogs … but I don’t feel the need to be rude about it.

She somehow has the whole family fawning over her! I don’t get it!

She sounds annoying but it's bizarre to leave a gathering on the basis of that social interaction, you massively overreacted.

This “get together” sounds like something out of tongue in cheek family comedy programme.

The whole room was laughing at me (well, laughing at her but at my expense) - why on earth would I stick around?

It is a bit babyish to leave just because of this. Could you not have just done an inner eyeroll and thought 'twat'?

On the other hand, I can also see that you have every right to leave too.

I don't know. Leaving just feels a bit dramatic to me.

Wasn’t your mum just trying to involve you in the family chat?

Ugh. People like that really should be given a flyer explaining that if anyone says you 'tell it like it is' or 'that's just (you), you need to get used to them' that's Clue 1 that you're a tedious loudmouth with the tact and diplomacy of a gynaecologist in a gas mask. What they mean is 'I wish I could be that fucking rude to/about people but I'm worried someone will slap me'.

It wasn’t a get together as such, I’d just popped in as I had some baking I needed to get rid of. My aunts and Lisa had been on a day out and called into my mums on the way home.

It sounds very unpleasant and it's clear that your mum was feeding that entire discussion. You need to work out why your mum wanted you to be the object of bullying. Never mind Lisa, just don't go when she is there, but you also need to fix the dynamics with the wider family.

Lisa sounds like the type who thinks everything she says is funny. Maybe in her friendship group she is, but she isn't. The only 'tell it like it is' people worth being in the company of are those who give excellent and honest, well-informed advice, the rest are insecure loud mouths.

Oh I know that type. Not funny at all. And I’m pretty sure nobody else finds her funny either, they’re just following the social cue to laugh.

Try not to overthink it.

you're a tedious loudmouth with the tact and diplomacy of a gynaecologist in a gas mask.

————————

made me smile that did, thanks 😂

YANBU! I can’t stand brash people like Lisa, they always humiliate people and have this awful superiority about them.
I also don’t think you overreacted! I have ASD and people don’t realise how painful social interactions can be, it can cause immense anxiety and discomfort.

I initially read that as your mum trying to bring you into the conversation. I’m afraid in life you will come across people you don’t gel with. Maybe Tedious Lisa has her own anxieties with social interaction and doesn’t manage it very well.

It's horrible when your family make fun of you and if you don't sit there quietly taking then you're a spoilsport. I get it OP (also autistic here).

In future if you have to deal with Lisa, be as boring and noncommittal as possible. Maybe find something she'll bore on about for ages and ask her about it? That takes the focus off you. Also, try not to leave the room again, they will clearly take offence if you do.