To have not found this woman hilarious?

[AllHailKingLouis]

Went to visit my mum - there were a few family members there (aunts) and a family friend who I don’t know well.

Im rather socially awkward (ASD/ADHD) so find it hard to join in conversations but I do try otherwise people say I’m being standoffish.

My mum suddenly said “KingLouis, you like horses don't you? Well Lisa (family friend) has two!”. Everyone looks at me for a response so I say “oh yes, I love horses - I am a bit nervous about them though”.

Lisa says “Nervous??? Why??”

I say “well, they’re big … and unpredictable”

Lisa “no more unpredictable than your average human love”.

everyone starts laughing. I’m feeling awkward now and just reply “yeah, that’s true I suppose”.

my mum says “you used to go horse riding didn’t you KingLouis?”

me: “I went a few times when I was younger”

Lisa: “why did you stop? Too much hard work?”

Everyone laughs.

Me: “No, I became frightened of injury if I were to fall off”

Lisa “Don’t get on the bastard then!”

everyone falls into hysterics and start saying stuff like “oh! Good old Lisa! Tells it like it is! She’s so funny!”

I made my excuses and left. Nothing hilarious about a rude obnoxious person who sets out to make someone uncomfortable.

my mum later called me asking why I’d “gone off in a mood” about Lisa “having a laugh”. I said I wasn’t in a mood, just didn’t find her attitude necessary. My mum said “oh that’s just Lisa! You’ll have to get used to her I’m afraid! She won’t mollycoddle you! Haha”

well no, I don’t need to get used to her, and I don’t want mollycoddling. I’ll just choose not to spend my time around family when she’s around! Everyone involved thinks I’m being a baby about it.

AIBU?

Anyone who calls an animal a swear word is a loser, Imo

Let them get lost.
You're fine as you are :)

Babyish to leave because a roomful of people were laughing at her? I don't think so. What was the OP supposed to do, stand around and continue letting herself be the butt of the (completely unfunny) joke? And to the pps calling OP 'hard work' and overdramatic, politely removing oneself from a scenario where one is being treated in this way is called having healthy boundaries and personally I think the OP did the right thing.

OP I found this all too relatable, sadly. I've never been diagnosed but I've suspected I too have ASD/ADHD for a long time now and my family have a long track record of laughing at me, encouraging others to laugh at me, and then calling me a baby/asking where my sense of humour is when I choose not to tolerate it.

Lisa sounds deeply tedious, I've met many people like her who seem to think they're an absolute scream when they're really not, and it baffles me why people mistake being a rude arsehole for being 'refreshingly honest' as people tend to refer to these individuals. (Wouldn't surprise me if she went around telling people she's 'like Marmite' too, people like her often seem to.)

YWNBU OP and your family have acted quite dickishly here imho. I'd have made my excuses and left too.

I can’t imagine just walking out of a room because I found someone irritating, I’d have lost my job more times than I could count if I did that

You put up with things at work because you are paid to do so (within reason). There's a massive difference.

Your mum would have annoyed me more. She should have just let you be instead of trying to force a non conversation.

Work situations are completely different to what happened here. OP didn't leave because she 'found someone irritating', she left because she was being made a laughing stock over her perfectly sensible responses to this immature person.

@AllHailKingLouis , I am in agreement with previous posters who have said that your mum did you no favours here, and she pretty much set you up for being a target of Lisa's rude "tell it like it is" nonsense.
Is your mum in denial about your ASD? It sounds like your mum thought that by throwing you to the wolves like this (i.e. giving Lisa material to make jokes at your expense) she was hoping that you will magically be able to deal with awkward social situations. You need to tell her that it doesn't work like that and she's just making things worse.

Yep... I often wonder whether I might be on the relatively neuro-typical end of the ASD spectrum, so I might be biased... but I find it incredibly hard to believe that the likes of "Lisa" in OPs story have good social skills. You know how history is always written by the victors? In the same way "social skills" are judged by the loudest and mouthiest. A less biased look at social skills and extroverts would get an absolute slating, and those with very mild autism might well be regarded as occupying a sweet spot between pointless yapping and the serious problems that more serious autism can cause. IMO

What is it with these tiresome morons with crappy social skills who don't see 'telling it how it is' for what it really actually is: being a rude, obnoxious, attention seeking arsehole.

It may be that they are also neurodiverse, hence their "crappy social skills".

Lisa is attention seeking.
Shes learnt that these “ fell it how it is” remarks get her laughter and feed her need for attention.
The other people were a bit cheap I think feeding her when it made you uncomfortable. They probably do it to keep her from commenting on them.

Fwiw I think you gave great answers, her response was stupid. I’ve found best thing to do is small tight smile and look at her, tip your head slightly to one side. Then change the conversation or get up to go to the loo, get a drink etc..
( and I prefer dogs to humans too, much more straightforward)

Is it possible that if Lisa also hates people and only loves her animals that she also had some form of adhd or social anxiety and her "hilarious" jokes are her way of dealing with it/interacting with people?

I wondered that, too. This could just be two people who manage problems with social situations in different and incompatible ways.

I think the mum was simply trying to enable a connection between you, as you did when you introduce two people in your life to each other.

Lisa: “why did you stop? Too much hard work

Everyone laughs

Me: “No, I became frightened of injury if I were to fall off

Lisa “Don’t get on the bastard then

I read the conversation as
Why did you stop riding
I was frightened of falling off

The instruction to not ride Lisa replied with doesn’t make sense.
Does Lisa lose track of conversations
Has Lisa got dementia
Did your family also forget the question.

Does Lisa like to instruct someone who has already said they are or are not doing something.
Would love to know what this behaviour is because Dh who is nearly 70 has started doing this type of thing and it is driving us all mad. It’s like he hasn’t heard the beginning of the conversation or has forgotten the question he has asked.

You did the right thing to leave. What she was saying wasn't funny at all. It sounds like your family were enjoying laughing at you and the friend was a dick. Don't give them the opportunity to behave like that in future.

Typical lack of understanding about how people with ASD think, feel and react, especially “don’t give it any more thought”. I have been in these type of situations and will endlessly go over it in my mind for days, how I acted, what I said, what they said, what everyone thinks of me.

Autistic people often go into a situation with a fixed idea of how it will be, it’s incredibly difficult for us to deal with this sort of thing out the blue. I had a medical appointment recently. I felt overloaded me with information and the doctor didn’t say what I thought he would . I went through the (nt) motions when leaving, then was in floods of tears back in the waiting room. Everyone including the doctor was sympathetic but I have beaten myself up over my reaction every since.
also we are not being babyish in our reactions, most people with ASD have spent their whole lives trying to act like everyone else does. Sometimes life and people are just overwhelming.

She’s a dick. In future don’t engage with her other than to look puzzled by her comments. Your mum’s obviously in awe of her to be feeding her lines to belittle you.

Take Lisa out of the situation (you handled her perfectly) and address your Mum. When your Mum said "Oh that's just Lisa, you will have to get used to her", I would have said "and this is just me, you and Lisa will have to get used to me."

But like I said, if Lisa does have a social communication disorder, then OP will have to be as understanding of that as she wants people to be of her own social issues.

I don't mean that she has to like her, or even put up with her. But she maybe can't help herself any more than OP can. And if Lisa complained about OP being 'sensitive' then presumably the mother would say the same to her. "Oh that's just King Louis, you'll get used to her"

Of course, in real life no-one has to put up with someone who makes them uncomfortable, and Lisa sounds annoying. But logically, both people (assuming that Lisa has a mild form of ASD) have issues that they can't help.

Lisa sounds like a knob.

I really dislike this 'oh she says it like it is' or 'she calls a spade a spade' etc... people use it as a get out of jail free card. They think they can be rude and obnoxious by labling it with something like 'I don't sugar coat things'

I'm fairly sure if you'd have turned round and said 'do you know you I sound like a twat' she'd have got upset. Maybe you should have and just backed it up with 'oh but I always just speak my mind'

Its fear I think......while she is having a go at you, she isn't bullying them.....which says some intersting things about your family......and no you do not have to get used to it.

You don’t have to get used to Lisa.

You just avoid her and if that means not seeing your family and your mum often then that’s something they will have to get used to.

If Lisa arrives then you just leave.

Its up to your mother who she wants to see. It will be either you or Lisa and if she doesn’t respect that then you will be seeing less and less of her.

Lisa types always need a target.
If you aren’t there then she will target someone else until no one wants to spend time in her company and then she will move onto another “friend” and start her “act” again

I think you were right to leave. But I'd have said something like 'right, can't stand here having daft conversations all day, got things to do' and then left. Because you did say she was only there because the group had been doing something and she'd dropped by. So had you, so you could 'drop out again'.

Don't worry about Lisa. She'll upset someone else soon and will be gradually distanced.

By the way although I wouldn’t have found Lisa funny I found your OP very humorous. Made me chuckle.

People like Lisa go for any blood in the water, and your mum facilitated you being the weak target.
Removing yourself was absolutely the right thing to do unless you wanted to start a full-on row, and they're only whining at you now because you took their fun little target away by leaving.

Lisa sounds like a twat.

As does your mum.

Lisa is proud of the fact that she has no social skills as she dislikes humans and is all about her horses.

People who make a point of telling you that they prefer animals to people are always best avoided. It’s usually other people who have made that choice for them!

I’ll never understand why, if you don’t like someone, their fans will jump in with ‘Oh no, that’s just Lisa! It’s just how she is!’ So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t dislike someone based on their personality? What else should I base it on?

Maybe the time has come to give mum and Lisa a taste of their own medicine when it comes to ‘telling it like it is’. If your mum mentions Lisa coming over again, tell her ‘I’ll be avoiding the house that day then - I’ve had kidney infections that were more fun than an afternoon in Lisa’s company, and frankly I’d walk under buses to avoid her’. See if she finds THAT honesty refreshing.

People like her are usually thick as shit basically.

Like you I have zero tolerance for them.

I worked with one for seven years. I paid off my mortgage with the money but how I stuck her I have no idea. I wanted to murder her on a minute to minute basis.