To have not found this woman hilarious?

[AllHailKingLouis]

Went to visit my mum - there were a few family members there (aunts) and a family friend who I don’t know well.

Im rather socially awkward (ASD/ADHD) so find it hard to join in conversations but I do try otherwise people say I’m being standoffish.

My mum suddenly said “KingLouis, you like horses don't you? Well Lisa (family friend) has two!”. Everyone looks at me for a response so I say “oh yes, I love horses - I am a bit nervous about them though”.

Lisa says “Nervous??? Why??”

I say “well, they’re big … and unpredictable”

Lisa “no more unpredictable than your average human love”.

everyone starts laughing. I’m feeling awkward now and just reply “yeah, that’s true I suppose”.

my mum says “you used to go horse riding didn’t you KingLouis?”

me: “I went a few times when I was younger”

Lisa: “why did you stop? Too much hard work?”

Everyone laughs.

Me: “No, I became frightened of injury if I were to fall off”

Lisa “Don’t get on the bastard then!”

everyone falls into hysterics and start saying stuff like “oh! Good old Lisa! Tells it like it is! She’s so funny!”

I made my excuses and left. Nothing hilarious about a rude obnoxious person who sets out to make someone uncomfortable.

my mum later called me asking why I’d “gone off in a mood” about Lisa “having a laugh”. I said I wasn’t in a mood, just didn’t find her attitude necessary. My mum said “oh that’s just Lisa! You’ll have to get used to her I’m afraid! She won’t mollycoddle you! Haha”

well no, I don’t need to get used to her, and I don’t want mollycoddling. I’ll just choose not to spend my time around family when she’s around! Everyone involved thinks I’m being a baby about it.

AIBU?

That's what stuck out for me as well - the jibe didn't even make any sense.

Nothing funny about her comments, and many horsey people are known to be rude

Lisa tells it like it is.

Thibomly thing unreasonable is that you failed to seize the moment to tell HER how it is.... she would surely have appreciated your honesty if you had taken the opportunity to tell her what a special kind of "cupid stunt" she is before you left.

Lisa sounds like a hideous sitcom character. Twaty McTwatface.

I agree that her comments weren't humourous. If they'd all been on a day out they sound like they were on a bit of a roll where anything she said would just set them off. And it clearly wasn't a gathering you were going to get much out of at that point and there was no point in sticking around if you had done what you dropped in for.

But it sounds like it's mainly just a different style of interaction that suits your mum and this group of friends but not you. Which is fine. And it's fine to tell your mum that you don't actually have to get used to her and not sticking around someone you find tedious and annoying isn't "going off in a mood".

She sounds like an idiot and she really isn’t funny. The thing is though, we all have to spend time around people we don’t like (especially if they are important to the people we love) so it’s someone at to just nod and smile and be thankful you don’t have to see her too often

It really frustrates me when rude people are allowed to get away with being rude because they 'say it like it is'.

No. They're rude.

The rest of us have learned how to be polite and not upset people. If they enjoy making people feel horrible and like embarrassing them that's called being a bully. And generally people laugh along because they don't have the courage to stand up to them or be next in line for an insult.

You didn't do anything wrong, although I feel your mum needs to have a few things explained to her.

Massive overreaction to a not particularly interesting bit of small talk really. I don’t think she was trying to make you feel awkward, just as you are often quiet as you don’t feel comfortable in social situations some people try to add humour when they feel awkward. Please don’t take it personally. The humans being unpredictable is funny! The don’t get on isn’t 😂

You aren't being unreasonable, horses can be unpredictable.
With getting hurt, that's how my son sees things, so I get it and they can hurt you, with you being sat on them, if she has horses, she should know that, I have been stood on a few times, I have even had one my ponys try to nibble my hand.
I think you are best to avoid this woman, she obviously doesn't understand you.
She seems the type to say things like pull yourself together and smile it's not that bad and Man up. I would stay away she sounds toxic.

Lisa sounds an absolute delight of a c u Next Tuesday.

Lisa sounds like a bit of a know it all know nothing cow. Steer clear. Deep breaths, you're OK x

It's classic abusive behaviour, making fun of you and then saying 'lighten up, it's only a joke.' Your mum sounds just as bad.

I completely know how you feel and struggle with social interaction. Sounds like how bullying starts in school the way that Lisa spoke to you and everyone joined in.
Lisa needs to button it.

She obv loves to be the centre of attention this Lisa I’d of yawned and rolled by eyes

When you were asked why you were wary of horses, it might have been fun to say that ' they're big and a bit unpredictable, just like you but not as rude'. Then immediately got up and said your goodbyes.

Sounds like you need a frank discussion with your mum about ASD/ADHD and that her attitude as well as the friend’s isn’t helpful and it’s actually being cruel to someone with ASD to basically take the mick out of their traits. She needs to have your back around other people.

My daughter is autistic and comes across socially awkward to some people and she often doesn’t get the ‘banter’ but I’d no way ridicule her. My dad is also likely autistic (diagnosed with OCD) and is seen by many people as the weird old bloke and we have had to explain to people (often bar staff who think he’s being awkward of refusing a drink/meal because someone has handled it wrong) before not to take the mick out of his unusual behaviours.

Lisa is the type of Twat I avoid at any cost.

Sounds like a right prick. Also sounds like there wasn't a joke for you to miss at all and she's just unfunny. Like fair enough if it was a legit joke even if was a little mean but that doesn't even sound funny in any way. Very weird. Don't make yourself uncomfortable being around her, do whatever makes you happy. You don't need to please some random woman.

Oh yeah also good points about them mocking your autism. Like yeah you don't get jokes as well and are poor at reading social cues. That's the diagnosis, mate, what's funny about that exactly? Makes you wonder what they're happy about saying when you're not there! Definitely mention that to your mum too cos that isn't cool at all.

Seems there are a few ‘Lisa’s’ on this thread

You do sound like you're being a little but of a baby about it but up to you if you depend time with her or not in the future.

I don’t have ASD etc, but I would find Lisa very boorish. There’s banter which is funny observation which we do in our family but that sounds like a pile on which is just plain mean.

I wonder if you had already been mentioned ( by DM???) before you arrived - seems a bit odd that Laura started on at you about horses (a bit random surely) the way she did - had someone already said something deprecating?

Sorry Lisa not Laura

My response to people like this is a hard stare followed by an almost imperceptible sneer, then move the conversation on.