To have not found this woman hilarious?

[AllHailKingLouis]

Went to visit my mum - there were a few family members there (aunts) and a family friend who I don’t know well.

Im rather socially awkward (ASD/ADHD) so find it hard to join in conversations but I do try otherwise people say I’m being standoffish.

My mum suddenly said “KingLouis, you like horses don't you? Well Lisa (family friend) has two!”. Everyone looks at me for a response so I say “oh yes, I love horses - I am a bit nervous about them though”.

Lisa says “Nervous??? Why??”

I say “well, they’re big … and unpredictable”

Lisa “no more unpredictable than your average human love”.

everyone starts laughing. I’m feeling awkward now and just reply “yeah, that’s true I suppose”.

my mum says “you used to go horse riding didn’t you KingLouis?”

me: “I went a few times when I was younger”

Lisa: “why did you stop? Too much hard work?”

Everyone laughs.

Me: “No, I became frightened of injury if I were to fall off”

Lisa “Don’t get on the bastard then!”

everyone falls into hysterics and start saying stuff like “oh! Good old Lisa! Tells it like it is! She’s so funny!”

I made my excuses and left. Nothing hilarious about a rude obnoxious person who sets out to make someone uncomfortable.

my mum later called me asking why I’d “gone off in a mood” about Lisa “having a laugh”. I said I wasn’t in a mood, just didn’t find her attitude necessary. My mum said “oh that’s just Lisa! You’ll have to get used to her I’m afraid! She won’t mollycoddle you! Haha”

well no, I don’t need to get used to her, and I don’t want mollycoddling. I’ll just choose not to spend my time around family when she’s around! Everyone involved thinks I’m being a baby about it.

AIBU?

Trying to be funny at someone else’s expense - especially if that person is naturally shy/introverted - is IMO just another form of bullying, and therefore despicable.
I know it’s much easier said than done, but a bored sort of smile may be the best defence - anything but let them see that they’ve upset you.

Gawd, not that lazy old trope again. Honestly, why do people bother if that's all they have to say?

This. Your mum was egging her on which was nasty. Take no notice of her, as you can see from this post we all don't think she was funny either!

Lisa's just a gobby cow and you were perfectly justified in not hanging about for more of her 'humour'.

'I just tell it how it is' generally just translates as 'has no filter and doesn't care about being a twat'.

I guess it would have been nice if someone, anyone, would have stood up for you a little, just something like “Oh I agree with you, I’m nervous of horses too”… and changed the subject.

That’s probably what hurt the most, the fact that they all laughed at how hilarious Lisa is 🙄

Lisa is a dick and was having a laugh at your expense. Lisa is the one who is socially inept here tbh.

So you have to get used to Lisa, but Lisa doesn't need to get used to the fact that not everyone appreciates her humour?

And people still pander to that shit?

You were right to leave.

I hate peoples like Lisa. There’s plenty of them. Especially in the horse world. They usually have something utterly trite like ‘unapologetically me’ in their socials bios.

They dress being rude cunts up as some sort of honourable truth telling.

I don't think your username quite reflects you.

I don't know who's worse - Lisa or your mother.

I hate people like this. They don't care how they get a laugh even if it embarrasses/belittles someone else. Lisa is a cowbag.

Lisa is bit of a dick isn't she? And your mum was setting you up a bit.

Plus anyone with horses who doesn't agree that they are unpredictable is a dick anyway. I have horses and would have agreed that for something their size they are utter twats who are unpredictable and likely to spook at a leaf.

My DD is neurodiverse and I do love that she sees through the twats in life, and removes herself from their company. I have spent so many wasted hours people-pleasing and it serves no purpose. Feel proud that you know your boundaries and are able to make and act on good decisions.

These people who ‘say it as it is’ are usually bullying idiots.

Don’t worry, there’s always one. I’d avoid her like the plague.

This. There is a way, when necessary, to be direct and honest without being a tactless dick. It requires one to engage brain first before opening one's gob.

It's the brain part that someone like Lisa is lacking.

I also think the negative part of the whole "be true to yourself/be authentic/be proud of who you are " madness makes people think it's ok to be like this.

Nah, Lisa sounds like a tedious twat who has decided that 'liking horses' is a personality. She's awful and yes, she was rude.

I don't think the other people in the room were all laughing at you though. Laughing at Lisa, perhaps, because they've all decided she's hilarious and quirky in a 'haha, what is she like, that's just Lisa, haha' type way because they don't want to admit she's actually deeply tiresome.

People who are proud of 'just being honest' and 'having no filter' and 'saying what they think' are invariably just rude. Ignore her. You've done nothing wrong.

To be honest your mother kind of set you up for that and everyone joined in, what a weird nasty situation. The benefit of being an adult is you get to choose who you spend time with, utilize that and stay away from people who think it's funny to mock you. Sorry you experienced it. This partly the reason I choose not to be around my family at least not for social events
x

Im rather socially awkward (ASD/ADHD) so find it hard to join in conversations but I do try otherwise people say I’m being standoffish.

Lisa is proud of the fact that she has no social skills as she dislikes humans

Maybe Lisa has ASD or ADHD too?

OP you were fine. Life is too short to give idiots like that oxygen. Sounds like your exit was low key and fine. If I'd been there I'd have found a reason to come with you!

Lisa doesn't sound funny at all and your mum sounds really irritating. Knowing you had an accident I don't know why she would prompt this conversation like this.
It's also mega gas lighting. And I hate hate how she said she won't "mollycoddle" that's so annoying.

Your family are annoying not you

We have a Lisa in our family, my BIL. He’s so insufferable, rude AF and has been thia way for the 20+ years I’ve known him.

what is interesting though, is the older everyone gets the less tolerable he becomes, He used to be revered by all - but now We avoid him whenever possible as do the rest of the family, he also appears to have lost the majority of his ‘following’

As he’s family we’ll never be able to be completely NC but I’d love any one liners anyone has to cut him down when he ‘tells it like it is’ or gives his totally uncalled for advice which is usually just an insult delivered as advice 🙄

Odd isn't it, that on other threads, the OP is told that if someone is insulting her/bullying her/picking at her, she is to get up and leave. Well done, OP!

In this thread, OP is insulted to her face, laughed at and bullied. And gets up to leave. She's called Hard work, told to Grow up, told she is being rude, told she is reading the situation wrongly, told she's being oversensitive...
I say well done op. Even if you did seem as if you'd 'stormed out' or gone off in a 'huff', so what. Lisa doesn't care if you are hurt or upset. Neither do the others contributing to the sneering, it seems.

You've jsut highlighted their own need to placate Lisa, lest she turns it on them.

Oh god is Lisa my exMIL? Mocks anyone who is nervous around horses or dogs including sneering at my DC. Sneers at anyone who doesn't "understand the countryside". Oh feck off.

It's OK to be wary of horses, they are unpredictable and can be extremely dangerous.

"Don't get on the bastards then" well quite. Silly woman.
It sucks that no one stood up for you. I would have!

Lisa sounds like a dickhead

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that your MIL owns a gilet.