To have not found this woman hilarious?

[AllHailKingLouis]

Went to visit my mum - there were a few family members there (aunts) and a family friend who I don’t know well.

Im rather socially awkward (ASD/ADHD) so find it hard to join in conversations but I do try otherwise people say I’m being standoffish.

My mum suddenly said “KingLouis, you like horses don't you? Well Lisa (family friend) has two!”. Everyone looks at me for a response so I say “oh yes, I love horses - I am a bit nervous about them though”.

Lisa says “Nervous??? Why??”

I say “well, they’re big … and unpredictable”

Lisa “no more unpredictable than your average human love”.

everyone starts laughing. I’m feeling awkward now and just reply “yeah, that’s true I suppose”.

my mum says “you used to go horse riding didn’t you KingLouis?”

me: “I went a few times when I was younger”

Lisa: “why did you stop? Too much hard work?”

Everyone laughs.

Me: “No, I became frightened of injury if I were to fall off”

Lisa “Don’t get on the bastard then!”

everyone falls into hysterics and start saying stuff like “oh! Good old Lisa! Tells it like it is! She’s so funny!”

I made my excuses and left. Nothing hilarious about a rude obnoxious person who sets out to make someone uncomfortable.

my mum later called me asking why I’d “gone off in a mood” about Lisa “having a laugh”. I said I wasn’t in a mood, just didn’t find her attitude necessary. My mum said “oh that’s just Lisa! You’ll have to get used to her I’m afraid! She won’t mollycoddle you! Haha”

well no, I don’t need to get used to her, and I don’t want mollycoddling. I’ll just choose not to spend my time around family when she’s around! Everyone involved thinks I’m being a baby about it.

AIBU?

Not sure why there's a random dont on the end of that!

No she didn't. I have ASD too and regardless of whether I should have stayed and "laughed it off", I would have reacted in the exact same way as OP did.

It sounds like Lisa has a touch of the ‘I’m mad, me’ going on, combined with ‘I tell it how it is’. What a twat.

I wonder if your mum was being a bit defensive in how she’d sided with Lisa to embarrass you and was trying to see you going off in a mood when it wasn’t really there.
It doesn’t sound like you didn’t anything wrong. You popped in, dropped the cakes off and then said goodbye and left.

To be honest, your mum has the lions share of the blame here. She presumably knows you're uncomfortable in social situations and that Lisa is 'challenging', yet seemed to go out of her way to put you in the firing line. I can't imagine why, after Lisa's first remark didn't go down well, your mum insisted on drawing the focus back to you.
Lisa is nobody. Just an unimportant random who lacks social skills, of the type you'll come up against every now and then. Your real issue is why your own mother lacks the kindness and sensitivity to support you to navigate these things.

I would have said to the "don't get on the bastards then" comment. "good advice, straight from the horses mouth"

"I tell it like it is" is usually, in my experience, code for "I'm an insufferably rude twat with no social skills".

Yep. But then, I'd have told Lisa this to her face. Publicly. And I wouldn't care what anyone thought.

Next time try giving it back. Only if you feel comfortable to though.

’Don’t get on the bastard then’

’Well Duh Lisa, I haven’t!’ Eye roll ‘Time to get back to your horses?’ Fake laugh.

Or something like that, people like Lisa go for the easy target.

I think 'she tells it like she is' is often code for 'she's rude' and she will have everyone fawning over her, so she isn't rude to them. You did the right thing by leaving, why should you politely sit though an interaction that makes you uncomfortable. You left politely and didn't make a scene so I don't know what the problem is, your mum is obviously more bothered about Lisa's feelings than yours.

I don't think what Lisa said sounds very funny, but she obviously tickled everyone else's sense of humour, so maybe the funniness is in her delivery? If everyone else found her funny I guess you just don't share their sense of humour. I wouldn't give it another thought if I were you 🤷‍♀️

Had they been drinking on their day out, so normal but not particularly funny responses seemed amusing?

The conversation itself doesn't seem that odd to me, it's the response of the others.

I'm not sure why you had to leave "that's why I stopped" and change the subject or even ask Lisa about her horses and let her witter on.

You don’t sound like hard work at all and although many of us would have just sat there and inwardly rolled our eyes I actually admire you for thinking “fuck this shit I’d rather be at home with my dogs”

the rest of us have been trained to “be polite” and “follow social convention” regardless of whether it makes us feel bad. Maybe Lisa would learn to be less of a knob if more people just got up and left every time she starts braying and telling it like it is.

They all sound unbearable. Your mum threw you under the bus there, to please her friend. I'm sorry that happened.

I wonder if the whole family fawn over Lisa so that they stay in her good books. I used to know a Lisa and if you dared to have a different opinion or didn't lick her arse you'd pay for it.

You're not in the wrong, OP.

Lisa sounds like a typical horse person

basically weird and brash and thinks they’re amazing because they spend their entire life and wage on a large animal

Do you also pride yourself on how direct you are, when you "tell it like it is"?

"typical horse person"?

I can't stand people whose idea of humour is to make others feel uncomfortable. I was a fairly shy and unconfident child and remember feeling very flustered if anyone mocked me in the way you describe. These "characters" rely on their target being polite and giving responses and I found that basically ignoring what they are saying and not responding once you realise what's happening means they run out of steam. They can't feed on silence.

I'd be avoiding any future contact with Loudmouth Lisa and telling your mother exactly why. If she and your aunts find her so hilarious, they're welcome to her.

Lisa sounds obnoxious and tedious.

My sister has kept horses for 35 years and doesn’t behave like Lisa!

@925XX yes there’s definitely ‘a type’ usually round at riding schools bossing 10 year old girls around 😂

'Tell it like it is' people are universally, no exceptions, massive knobs.

Tact and properly pitching to your audience are basic social skills and people who are proud to not bother are telling you that they think their opinions are more important than your feelings.

I won't stand for anyone being that way and call them out every time.

Rude, brash, entitled and overbearing but do get a grip. As an adult, you have to deal with people like her all the time, tiresome though it is. You need to develop a thicker skin and a quick and cutting rejoinder. Practice.

Are used to have a friend who was proud of being a wind up merchant. After a few insults he would say ‘Relax, it’s just a wind up.’ I would retort, ‘Well, done, you’ve wound me up. Now what shall we talk about since you’ve ruined that conversation?’ Not sure it was the wittiest response…

Not only were Lisa's "jokes" not funny (a pp has already pointed out that you did choose to "not get on the bastard" by quitting lessons, but also, as for humans being as unpredictable as horses, I don't have to avoid standing behind humans in case they kick me so hard they kill me, so... Lisa is wrong) But it also seems like Lisa is the sort of person who feels the need to deliberately seek someone out to bring them down. Every comment she made "too much hard work?" was targeted at bringing you down when all you'd done was dropped in to say hello to your mum. She sounds like an outright unpleasant person and good for you for leaving.

But also, this:
"I'm not sure people were laughing at you, they may not even have found it funny, some people feel obliged to laugh when they recognise someone else is trying to be funny to save the "joke teller" embarrassment" from @FOJN
Is probably true too.

I don't know, it's a bit of drama over nothing. Lisa wasn't funny but she wasn't particularly offensive either.
If your mum picked up then you left in a 'mood' then I don't think you left as elegantly as you seem to think you did, the fact that you made a whole post about a non event bitching about Lisa seems to indicate that you were feeling some kind of way about it so I don't think your mum was wrong there it probably was obvious that you were leaving because you were pissed at Lisa.