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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

357 replies

keepsane · 26/06/2022 12:07

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ducksurprise · 26/06/2022 12:09

Sleepovers are stayovers not sleep overs. Don't text the mum, other than to say thanks, just refuse in future if you don't like it.

riesenrad · 26/06/2022 12:09

OP did you ever go to stay at someone's house when you were 8 years old? This is completely normal when you are 8 years old and excited.

The mum could have told them to pipe down every hour from 11pm and it wouldn't have made any difference.

By the way, why is it the mother's "fault"? Was there no dad present?

MultiBird · 26/06/2022 12:11

🤣

What was mum supposed to do if your daughter was playing up until 4:30? If she'd wanted to sleep, they would have slept. It's highly unlikely they were both awake all night anyway, even if they were awake at 4:30, but surely everyone knows DC don't sleep properly at sleepovers.

thaegumathteth · 26/06/2022 12:11

This is normal tbh!

Original poster
keepsane · 26/06/2022 12:11

riesenrad · 26/06/2022 12:09

OP did you ever go to stay at someone's house when you were 8 years old? This is completely normal when you are 8 years old and excited.

The mum could have told them to pipe down every hour from 11pm and it wouldn't have made any difference.

By the way, why is it the mother's "fault"? Was there no dad present?

No they were no dads present as she is a single mum. It just wouldn't have been allowed at my house. When my DD has had sleepovers they are always in bed at reasonable hour

OP posts:
11Hawkins · 26/06/2022 12:11

YABU. How do you not know she went in there every hour and told them to go to sleep?
It's your DCs fault they didn't go to sleep, they could of went to sleep at any time but didn't... this isn't the mums fault here.

fuckwhatshouldido · 26/06/2022 12:12

Yep, totally normal, YABU OP, sorry! We’ve done sleepovers and they always take the piss a bit, it’s just part and parcel. My 9yo has conked out mid afternoon after sleepovers several times 😆 one night of no sleep won’t do them any harm, they’ll catch up! Early night tonight if she lasts that long and she’ll be totally fine.

PinkButtercups · 26/06/2022 12:12

Oh it's no big deal. It was a one off. Stop over reacting. Your DD probably had loads of fun, even staying up past her bedtime.

Don't be a fun sponge.

HintofVintagePink · 26/06/2022 12:12

If I’d been up at 4.30am asking someone else’s child to go to sleep, having fed them and had them to stay, then receive a text from the mother complaining then they wouldn’t be invited back.

Don’t be so precious and also don’t be so sure your child will be invited back anyway!

anotherbrewplease · 26/06/2022 12:12

Hehe - yeah - text the Mum. I’m sure she’ll be really interested in what you have to say.

Surely your daughter will just go to be early tonight - job done.

MultiBird · 26/06/2022 12:14

Can you imagine, having being kept awake all night, getting a text of complaint from a mother who's had a nice child free evening and a full night's sleep? 😆

ErinAndTonic · 26/06/2022 12:14

You're a bit precious aren't you! Take a chill pill, and don't go texting the mum.. unless you want your daughter to be left out of future sleepovers and be alienated from her friends.

Georgeskitchen · 26/06/2022 12:15

It's that the whole idea of a sleepover? To stay awake as long as is humanly possible and spend a night of excited giggling?
It sure was when I was 8, and yes my mother was constantly telling us to pipe down!!

thechiefstew · 26/06/2022 12:15

The poor other mum must be exhausted - maybe she’s wondering now if she would want to invite an 8 year old round again who won’t go to sleep until 4.30am?? How lovely of her to have your DD for a sleepover, it’s not like it’s every night, get her in bed the next couple of nights and she’ll be fine I’m sure.

KyaClark · 26/06/2022 12:15

But it wasn't your house, so what you'd have allowed is irrelevant.

It's one night.

Butchyrestingface · 26/06/2022 12:20

It's a one off. And whilst you can force kids into a bedroom (Good luck with getting them to STAY in bed), you can't force them to sleep if they're full of beans.

Did you have something scheduled for today that last night's shenanigans have put the kibosh on?

ldontWanna · 26/06/2022 12:20

DD has yet to go to a sleepover,especially a birthday one where she went to bed earlier than 3 am.

FAQs · 26/06/2022 12:20

thechiefstew · 26/06/2022 12:15

The poor other mum must be exhausted - maybe she’s wondering now if she would want to invite an 8 year old round again who won’t go to sleep until 4.30am?? How lovely of her to have your DD for a sleepover, it’s not like it’s every night, get her in bed the next couple of nights and she’ll be fine I’m sure.

This, for goodness sake don’t complain to the mum you’re being unfair to do so.

theremustonlybeone · 26/06/2022 12:21

This happened to me. 8 girls for a sleepover. I tried everything to get them to sleep and they too were in bed ‘early’ however some of them were up very very late. I apologised to the parents and refused to do anymore . I refuse to have kids over and then do a night shift to ensure they don’t stay up. As for OP suggesting that when she hosts sleepovers there in bed early. That may be the case but I bet there up late and whispering . Let it go

SpaceJamtart · 26/06/2022 12:21

It's just as much your childs fault as it is the other childs fault. 8 year olds get excited on sleepovers. It is annoying and its awful when they are overtired but there is not really anything the mum could have done apart from phoning you at 1 am to come get her.

From her perspective she had another child over for a sleepover, who wouldn't go to sleep and kept her daughter up until 4:30, despite probably having told them numerous times in the night and having been woken up herself at 4:30, she now also has a tired and ratty child.
And then the other mum rings her in a strop to complain that she didn't force her daughter to sleep or sit up awake with them half the night to 'supervise', because obviously she enjoyed all night shenanigans.

I'd leave her alone and let your kid nap today

Soubriquet · 26/06/2022 12:22

It’s a sleepover. There is usually a challenge to see who can stay awake the longest.

Yabu

Mally100 · 26/06/2022 12:23

Fgs get a grip. Did you really think the mother on top of being a single parent, then needed to stay awake the entire night to ensure they slept?? Most likely the girls pretended to sleep, woke up after a while and just excitedly enjoyed their sleepover. It's a once off, give your head a wobble, let your dd have a lazy day or nap and just move on with life.

Longdistance · 26/06/2022 12:23

Well, your dd will need to power through the day and go to bed early.
I bet mum asked them to go to sleep several times. They either pretended to be asleep or were Playing up through the night.
You can be pissed off all you like, but you’ve effectively had a child free night.

liveforsummer · 26/06/2022 12:24

The team sleepover is misleading really. Im afraid this is fairly normal OP

VladmirsPoutine · 26/06/2022 12:25

Grin It was one night. They're 8 years old. Let this one go. Your dd might be a bit tired and grumpy today but in her eyes it was probably worth it.