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8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

357 replies

keepsane · 26/06/2022 12:07

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

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Thinkingblonde · 26/06/2022 21:01

Poor kid, grounded for having fun.

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ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 26/06/2022 21:03

PoshHorseyBird · 26/06/2022 20:08

I'm curious as to how you expected the other mum to get them to sleep! Was she supposed to drug them?? They probably were in bed at a reasonable hour but you can't force kids to sleep! As a child me and my best friend would have loads of sleepovers at each others houses, always in bed early but up whispering until the early hours. It's what kids do. It's one night. Surely your child can just go to bed super early when they get home.

We just sit outside the room and make it clear we're listening shushing any talking. At midnight it takes 30-40 of this for them to drop off.

It's really not unreasonable to expect an 8 year old gets 5-6 hours sleep.

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girlmom21 · 26/06/2022 21:14

We just sit outside the room and make it clear we're listening shushing any talking. At midnight it takes 30-40 of this for them to drop off.

Jesus Christ how embarrassing

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gamerchick · 26/06/2022 21:16

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 26/06/2022 21:03

We just sit outside the room and make it clear we're listening shushing any talking. At midnight it takes 30-40 of this for them to drop off.

It's really not unreasonable to expect an 8 year old gets 5-6 hours sleep.

You're joking right? Hmm

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CapMarvel · 26/06/2022 21:16

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 26/06/2022 21:03

We just sit outside the room and make it clear we're listening shushing any talking. At midnight it takes 30-40 of this for them to drop off.

It's really not unreasonable to expect an 8 year old gets 5-6 hours sleep.

You sound fun.

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Lalalolol · 26/06/2022 21:17

@Marvellousmadness staying up till 12 pm would be too late as it is next afternoon 🤔😉

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WhiskerPatrol · 26/06/2022 22:38

@Chikapu @Veol @sunglassesonthetable sure, enjoy feeling like the "cool moms"... I didn't actually say at what time I'd start telling them to go to sleep - I'd leave them to it until I started thinking about going to bed myself, which would probably be about 11 p.m. But letting them stay awake until 4.30 a.m.? Fuck that. Imagine the responses on here if someone posted "AIBU that ex-H lets the kids stay up until 4.30 a.m. when they stay at his on the weekend" - everyone would be up in arms!

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Darbs76 · 26/06/2022 22:44

You’re massively over reacting. Aren’t kids normally in the bedroom alone, did you expect parents in there with them? Mum probably fell asleep and woke and heard them and went in, she’s not going to wait until 4.30am otherwise. Stop being such a killjoy

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MumofSpud · 26/06/2022 22:46

WhiskerPatrol · 26/06/2022 22:38

@Chikapu @Veol @sunglassesonthetable sure, enjoy feeling like the "cool moms"... I didn't actually say at what time I'd start telling them to go to sleep - I'd leave them to it until I started thinking about going to bed myself, which would probably be about 11 p.m. But letting them stay awake until 4.30 a.m.? Fuck that. Imagine the responses on here if someone posted "AIBU that ex-H lets the kids stay up until 4.30 a.m. when they stay at his on the weekend" - everyone would be up in arms!

Surely there's a difference between a sleepover at a friend's and visiting dad every weekend!!

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sunglassesonthetable · 26/06/2022 23:10

@WhiskerPatrol

Happy to be a 'cool mum' or whatevs. Is that in the same vein as the threatening you mentioned doing to " not let kids stay awake".

No idea why you're talking about EX Hs etc letting their kids stay up late. This is about sleepovers, with other friends. More of a one off situation.

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BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 27/06/2022 00:04

You've grounded your 8 yo for not sleeping?! Confused

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user1471548447 · 27/06/2022 00:14

Wow, feel sorry for your kid. She’s done feck all wrong there! Just sounds like every single sleepover I went to when I was younger. You’d spent the entire night getting periodically bollocked by the parents, then straight back to chatting/watching TV/playing computer games til you eventually fell asleep at some ridiculous hour of the morning. That’s just what happens…

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ClareBlue · 27/06/2022 01:23

It's just fun. No big deal.
Why the drama. So what if she is tired. Maybe they spent the night bonding and opening up about things to each other, who knows why they were awake at 4.30am. Who knows why I'm awake at 1.22am.
It's not an issue

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ClareBlue · 27/06/2022 01:41

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I would say plenty are thinking this but too polite to say😂

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ClareBlue · 27/06/2022 01:51

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

Not sure if I'll still be alive, but if so, I will look out for the post in 15 years from a young women who can not enjoy herself because of a sense of guilt whenever she does.
Someone will ask what it was like growing up and she will respond that she was grounded for having fun with her friends.
Someone else will say that might be the cause of her issues.
At least we have this right from the start and no need for speculation.

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Bbq1 · 27/06/2022 07:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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Bbq1 · 27/06/2022 07:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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gamerchick · 27/06/2022 07:49

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 27/06/2022 11:09

This has become quite a nasty thread considering the fairly innocuous topic!

Whilst I don't agree with grounding the daughter (I think it's the other mum at fault) I also think it's ridiculous to project forward and suggest this will lead to DD going no contact as an adult 🤣

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Coughsyrup · 27/06/2022 13:45

Omg get a grip 🤣 don’t message the mother or you’ll be known as the difficult one and that will be the end of any invitations for your poor daughter. That’s what sleepovers are all about, I’m sure she had a ball.

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Lalalolol · 27/06/2022 18:40

Op, hope you changed your mind about DD being grounded.

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beautyisthefaceisee · 27/06/2022 22:44

wouldyaeverquitit · 26/06/2022 18:49

DD (she was 8 too) was beside herself the next day, kept bursting into tears and was so drowsy I was scared she'd fall asleep in the bath. It was horrible

Give me fucking strength…😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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beautyisthefaceisee · 27/06/2022 22:46

CapMarvel · 26/06/2022 21:16

You sound fun.

I'm buckled at the sitting outside the room shushing. This thread is gold

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Yazo · 27/06/2022 23:59

Oh no I've been this mum, although it was 3.30. I tried everything to calm them down and actually they were calm they just couldn't sleep poor kids. I took my younger son upstairs, I tried to sit with them, I checked in on them, there was nothing more I could do! I think the mums were pretty pissed off but the kids had a great time and I tried my best.

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beautyisthefaceisee · 28/06/2022 00:00

WhiskerPatrol · 26/06/2022 22:38

@Chikapu @Veol @sunglassesonthetable sure, enjoy feeling like the "cool moms"... I didn't actually say at what time I'd start telling them to go to sleep - I'd leave them to it until I started thinking about going to bed myself, which would probably be about 11 p.m. But letting them stay awake until 4.30 a.m.? Fuck that. Imagine the responses on here if someone posted "AIBU that ex-H lets the kids stay up until 4.30 a.m. when they stay at his on the weekend" - everyone would be up in arms!

well....perhaps, but that's a completely different scenario!

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