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8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

357 replies

keepsane · 26/06/2022 12:07

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

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RooniIWazlib · 26/06/2022 12:26

It's your daughters fault not the mothers.

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Jalepenojello · 26/06/2022 12:27

I thought I was laid back….430 am is ridiculous for an 8 year old IMO. That’s more age 11+ territory. I guess you can’t force kids to sleep but I’d have removed all tech at midnight and would be surprised if they managed to stay awake much beyond that

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Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 26/06/2022 12:27

My 10 year old stayed at her friend's last weekend and they were late to bed (not that late) - no drama just had a couple of early nights and l was just grateful she had been invited.

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SandyWedges · 26/06/2022 12:28

Mum probably asked them to be quite many times before that. Or she fell asleep assuming they were asleep if they were being quiet. Or whatever. It's how an 8 year old learns the sleep/fun balance. If anything you should be texting and apologising your 8 year old kept her up until 430.

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Aroundtheworldin80moves · 26/06/2022 12:28

Just been camping with 20 8-10yos. Friday we got them settled by 12.30.... and they were awake at 7am! Saturday it was 11pm and we had to wake them at 8am. That was after a whole range of activities including a hike, climbing wall, obstacle course, games, campfire...

They wind each other up. I can promise you the adults present would have been much happier having more sleep!

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redskyatnight · 26/06/2022 12:29

In bed at a reasonable hour is not the same as asleep and staying asleep. Generally the all sleep on and off for bits of the time and wake up and have conversations for other bits of the time.
I used to be a brownie leader and it was exactly the same on the first night (they were exhausted after that!) - they were in bed at a reasonable hour but we couldn't stop them talking - we just used to go in occasionally and ask them to keep it quiet for the benefit of those who did want to sleep.
My DS used to try to stay awake all night when he went to sleepovers - I'm not sure exactly what any other parent would have been able to do to prevent that?

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Hugasauras · 26/06/2022 12:31

I think I'd feel sorry for the mum who had a disturbed night more than anything else! Does it matter as a one-off? Just let her have a nap and an early night and no harm done.

I was always the one at sleepovers trying to actually sleep Grin I was very much the odd one out!

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grossnessewwww · 26/06/2022 12:31

How do you know your child wasn't the ring leader?
Sometimes those children with the strictest parents play up the most when away from those parents.

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redskyatnight · 26/06/2022 12:31

Jalepenojello · 26/06/2022 12:27

I thought I was laid back….430 am is ridiculous for an 8 year old IMO. That’s more age 11+ territory. I guess you can’t force kids to sleep but I’d have removed all tech at midnight and would be surprised if they managed to stay awake much beyond that

8 year olds shouldn't be having unsupervised access to tech at any time! OP didn't mention tech did she? More likely they were all just chatting/playing silly games.

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/06/2022 12:32

I don't get parents who let kids run riot til 5am but it's quite normal. At my house they have to be quiet from 11ish - I don't care if that makes me a killjoy, I need to sleep. They don't go to sleep at 11 of course but if they have to be quiet then they tend to drift off at a more reasonable hour. Some parents let the kids act as if it's day time so of course they don't sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

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liveforsummer · 26/06/2022 12:32

I can picture exactly what happened from my own experience- mum probably fell asleep at some stage when the girls were relatively quiet then has come around thinking wtf when she's heard them at 4.30 so sternly told them to get to sleep. Can't believe you're considering complaining.

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Homelander42 · 26/06/2022 12:33

RooniIWazlib · 26/06/2022 12:26

It's your daughters fault not the mothers.

Yes. Exactly.

Short of using chloroform, what exactly was the mum supposed to do to force your child to sleep?

The other mum has probably told you she was up until 4.30am as a way of complaining to you about your disruptive child.

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Hugasauras · 26/06/2022 12:33

Also how do you have any idea that they weren't asleep or just being very quiet earlier and then woke up and chatted? Of course they were 'unaccompanied' - do you share a room with your child and a friend during a sleepover? ConfusedPerhaps the mum listened in and all was quiet so she, quite rightly, went to her own bed and then was woken up later!

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SandyWedges · 26/06/2022 12:34

liveforsummer · 26/06/2022 12:32

I can picture exactly what happened from my own experience- mum probably fell asleep at some stage when the girls were relatively quiet then has come around thinking wtf when she's heard them at 4.30 so sternly told them to get to sleep. Can't believe you're considering complaining.

Yes I'm guessing this is what happened too. Can't believe you're thinking of complaining to her OP.

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cardibach · 26/06/2022 12:34

When DD was that sort of age we didn’t refer to them as sleepovers. We called them wakeovers as that was more accurate. I was a bit more draconian than many in requiring quiet talking and no silliness once I went to bed myself.

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StridTheKiller · 26/06/2022 12:37

Well you now owe the other child a sleepover OP. How about you report back to us once you've flexed your superior sleepover skills?
And "There were no Dads present" plural 🤣🤣🤣

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elenacampana · 26/06/2022 12:37

@keepsane

You are being the fun police OP 🤣😂

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Jalepenojello · 26/06/2022 12:38

redskyatnight · 26/06/2022 12:31

8 year olds shouldn't be having unsupervised access to tech at any time! OP didn't mention tech did she? More likely they were all just chatting/playing silly games.

Really? No tv, movies? I certainly don’t sit monitoring my kids every second on Netflix for example.

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RampantIvy · 26/06/2022 12:39

It's June. Maybe they fell asleep then woke up early because it is broad daylight at 4.30 am.

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sunglassesonthetable · 26/06/2022 12:39

Can't believe you're writing this really.

Totally ordinary turn of events. Over excited 8 year olds messing around.

Early night tonight all round.

Chill out OP. It's not like it happens every night. That's the whole point isn't it?

Tbh you'll look idiotic if you text.

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liveforsummer · 26/06/2022 12:39

Agree it's fine to let dc have access to childrens account on Netflix for example but at any of my DC's sleepovers tech doeant feature heavily at all. Maybe a bit of Spotify for dancing or a movie that barely gets watched due to chatting

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Mushroo · 26/06/2022 12:40

@Jalepenojello removing tech would make no difference.

Im a child of the 90s so no tech was available and there was very limited sleep at sleepovers! Just talking, giggling, ghosts stories - at that age they don’t need tech to stay awake!

OP - it sounds like she had a great night,
just send her to bed early tonight. Do not text the other parent!

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brookstar · 26/06/2022 12:41

This is totally normal!!
The only text you should be sending is a thank you text.

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liveforsummer · 26/06/2022 12:42

Do not text the other parent!

Except to say thanks for having dd, sorry they kept you up. Hope you're not too tired!

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catandcoffee · 26/06/2022 12:44

sleepovers at your house sound a bit boring....sorry

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