8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

[keepsane]

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

Oh God op please don't text to complain, don't be that person!!
This is what happens at sleepovers.
This is why we only do sleepovers in school holidays.
I find if you learn to relax and plan around them a bit you'll be much less stressed about them.

But you don't know that they weren't in bed, and you also don't know for sure that kids who've slept at your house actually went to sleep when you told them to - maybe they were just really quiet

Don't complain to the other mum and don't punish your DD either! Her behaviour was totally normal and banning her from staying over because she stayed up late on a weekend is ridiculous.

My dd had a sleepover for her birthday when she was 9.
The dc who kept the other dc awake until 5 am had a dm just like you OP.
I had been into their room every hour since midnight and finally snapped at 5 when this dc was jumping up and down on the beds.
The problem is that a dc with strict parents gets giddy when they’re given normal freedoms and that’s what happened.
And her dm was the only parent that complained.
I made sure to tell the other parents which dc was a pain though.

Yes and your DD will learn the consequences of staying up that late

DD went to a couple at that age and v late was standard. She is 13 now and then are asleep around midnight 1 am because they know what happens to them if they dont

Yabu and for your sake i hope the other mum is not on here as she will know this is about her for sure.

YAVBU and will just look silly if you text the mum.

My friends school did a sleepover in the main hall. Even the teachers couldn’t get the very very excited 8 year olds to sleep till gone 3am…
Just let go a little it’s all part of the fun of being at a sleepover and I even remember being in tears the next day to my mum crying “it’s not because I’m TIIIIIRED!” 😂

Definitely text her. That way you won't have to turn down any invitations to sleep over because there won't be any more.

Try reversing the situation.
How would you feel if it was you hosting the sleepover - your DD's friend stayed the night at your house.
You tried to encourage them to settle down and go to sleep, but they were so excited, they were having none of it.
You then get an irate text from the friend's mum saying what you plan to say to her. How would you feel? Honestly?
If I received a text like that I would feel hurt and deflated.
I'd just send one thanking her for having your DD over. Say she had a lovely time and offer to have her DD over next time.
That would be kinder!

Sleepovers aren’t for ‘sleeping’!!!

they’re for chatting, giggling, eating rubbish, telling secrets, watching TV they shouldn’t be etc etc.

The mum probably fell asleep and was woken up by them arsing about .if you don't like the way the mum does sleepovers don't send her again.

4.30?? Rediculous!!!!she is 8

12 pm would have been a late night for them already. 4.30 is bloody bizarre.

And she laid in bed and let the kids do whatever they wanted. Wow. Some mum she is... shame.

Lol. Bet they love that. Expect kids to start refusing soon.

I have the best memories of sleepovers at my friends house. We used to have midnight snacks, stay up all night and then her mum would wake up at 8am and make us pancakes. I’d then sleep the whole of Sunday and Monday I’d be in bed by 8pm! It was the same when she came to mine. Neither of our parents ever said anything. I’m sorry but you sound like a fun-sponge. Let the girl have some fun it’s not the end of the world.

Really 🤣🤣🤷‍♀️

Shirt of chloroform there's not much you can do to make children sleep.

Another vote here for them being quiet (possibly asleep) and then waking early and being caught.

@keepsane
your sleepovers must be awful.

Don't be a fun sponge

How to suck all the fun out of the evening OP.

Have you ever tried to get a bunch of excited kids to sleep? Mine stay up all night if they can. They like the challenge. It's weekend, let her rest today and she'll be fine tomorrow.

ok, she is tired but that’s what sleepovers are all about. Don’t be that mum and text and unpick your knickers from up your arse. I bet she’s had a brilliant time.

Goodness me I think you really need to get a grip here.

Sleepovers are like this. Doesn't matter if you put them to bed at 10 and tell them to sleep, sometimes they just keep each other up.

My kids were always bloody knackered after a sleepover here or at another house. It's par for the course. Get them to bed early the next night and they'll be right as rain.

I remember eldest DD's 9th birthday sleepover- think there were 5 girls. It was carnage! Including them scaring the wits out of each other at 2am and coming down for breakfast at 3.30am. Needless to say I firmly sent them back to bed. Never again I said. (Reader: I did it again).

If you think this is unacceptable then don't accept the invitations in the future. Good luck with being a miserable mum!

At least she's not coming on here slating people and being rude.

The excitement of a "sleep"over. I thought it was normal there was no sleep.

YABU ... please don't text the mum! 😂

yes it is late, but sorry, YABU. It is a one off , a sleepover, they are excited and having fun. Give her an early night tonight and tomorrow and she will catch up again.

Do not text the mum. If you are that unhappy about it then just don't do any more sleepovers.

I'd just send one thanking her for having your DD over. Say she had a lovely time and offer to have her DD over next time

this. Makes sure you show her how it’s done properly.