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8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

357 replies

keepsane · 26/06/2022 12:07

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

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coffeecupsandfairylights · 26/06/2022 13:21

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

What the fuck?

Why?!

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liveforsummer · 26/06/2022 13:21

How do you even ground an 8 year old? Especially judging by your strict outlook i doubt she's out hanging around on the streets or going to discos. Can't imagine using grounding as a punishment for dd9 😆

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Chikapu · 26/06/2022 13:21

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

Ah no, judging by your total overreaction she was probably just over the moon to be away from your iron fist for the night. Poor kid has done absolutely nothing wrong 😕

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FrecklesMalone · 26/06/2022 13:22

I am a total killjoy and get them to shut up when I go to bed.

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Somethingsnappy · 26/06/2022 13:23

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

That has made me so sad. Poor girl. You sound like one of those people who places blame on everyone else, anything but admit to themselves they may be in the wrong.

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onmywaytooblivion · 26/06/2022 13:24

This is why I don't do sleepovers! It's just too much and not fun when you're trying to deal with tired children on a Sunday. It's not worth the hassle

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FAQs · 26/06/2022 13:24

@keepsane you miserable sod grounding your poor child. Yes not great but you’ve taken away any excitement from the sleepover.

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carefullycourageous · 26/06/2022 13:25

You've grounded your 8yo child because they went to sleep at a silly time last night when in someone else's house?!?

I just feel so sorry for your DD, you are blowing this out of all proportion and have ruined what was probably a fun time with her friend.

You are being a really unpleasant parent.

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adorablecat · 26/06/2022 13:25

Grounding her seems a bit harsh. Surely a quiet word about consideration/manners when staying in someone's home would suffice?

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Gusfringrules · 26/06/2022 13:25

keepsane · 26/06/2022 12:11

No they were no dads present as she is a single mum. It just wouldn't have been allowed at my house. When my DD has had sleepovers they are always in bed at reasonable hour

You've just sucked the joy from my day! The wnole point of a girly sleepover is not to sleep. So what if she is tired today, she can have an afternoon kip. It's sunday not monday.
This reminds me of a time I went to a friend's house for tea/play. The mother tok great pains to point out that she had given us 6 chips each, so there was no point arguing over who had more. Not sure which was more traumati , her uptighness ir the fact she had served a northern lass a mere 6 chips!

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minionsrule · 26/06/2022 13:25

Sorry OP but seriously, she's grounded? So she had fun last night, probably one of her best experiences and you are pouring cold water all over it now. Not like she was out wandering the streets is it, poor kid.
She is SO going to resent you when she is older.

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Somethingsnappy · 26/06/2022 13:25

User6761 · 26/06/2022 13:12

I found sleepovers unbelievably exciting at that age (and older). We used to save up any treats we'd been given that day (sweets/chocolate) and hide them under our pillows to have a midnight feast (think I read too much Enid Blyton 😂). Anyway, the point is those nights have stayed in my memory all that time - am now in my 40s. Your daughter may remember last night for the rest of her life.

Yes, I agree! And now sadly, the lovely memory will be spoiled by having been grounded afterwards. She will be so confused.

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Cornettoninja · 26/06/2022 13:26

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

You’ve grounded your 8 year old for not sleeping on a sleepover?

Just don’t let her go to anything at all if you don’t like the possible things kids may get up to. Don’t punish the poor child for behaving like a normal person fgs.

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Ilovesandwiches · 26/06/2022 13:26

The mum probably doesn’t want a tired and grumpy child anymore than you do! You can’t force them to sleep, unfortunately it’s part and parcel of a sleepover.

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NannyWeatherWitch · 26/06/2022 13:26

grounded for being a kid? You need to lighten up, seriously. You sound horrible

this. You sound like an awful parent op! Truly dreadful, your poor child gets punished for having fun? Then you complain to the poor mother who invited your child for a fun night.
I'm guessing you don’t have many friends and you want to keep that tradition going.
your child would not be getting a second invitation to my house if that’s how you say thank you!

you’re coming across as very rude and incredibly entitled.

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WildImaginings · 26/06/2022 13:26

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

😂 I bet you're fun at parties!

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EmilyBolton · 26/06/2022 13:27

theremustonlybeone · 26/06/2022 12:21

This happened to me. 8 girls for a sleepover. I tried everything to get them to sleep and they too were in bed ‘early’ however some of them were up very very late. I apologised to the parents and refused to do anymore . I refuse to have kids over and then do a night shift to ensure they don’t stay up. As for OP suggesting that when she hosts sleepovers there in bed early. That may be the case but I bet there up late and whispering . Let it go

I developed a trick that worked for a few years. Kids would arrive. Whilst they were having tea out of room sleepover was going to be happening in, I’d go in and put clock forward by 1 hour. And then I’d alter other clocks they’d see.

id then go in at “midnight” with the midnight feast stuff and give first warning of needing to settle, then start with the stronger “time for lights out” form “1”am and then every 30 mins
…..pretty much they’d be asleep and crashed at least so I could go to bed and sleep by 1-1:30am normal time

they didn’t cotton on till they and mates were using mobile phones as if attached to their hands in early teens. They still occasionally mention it as an act close to abuse 🤣🤣🤣. But in a few years theyll thank me for this parenting tip 🤷🏼‍♀️

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MissMaple82 · 26/06/2022 13:27

So you think the mum was just going to bed at 4am? Have you never had kids sleepover? They go ti bed but don't actually go to sleep, instead they piss about. The mum would have no doubt been woken up by their giggles at 4am and gone in. If you text me, I'd think you were a right cheeky mare

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CallOnMe · 26/06/2022 13:27

WTAF sometimes there’s threads which you hope are not real.

The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

If it is real then the sentence above tells you everything you need to know OP.
The mum had to come in and tell them off as they were still up at 4:30am.

Unclench OP.

If your child ever gets invited for a sleepover again (I doubt she will if they know what you’re like) then use the alone time to release your pent up stress (aka get a vibrator or go on tinder).
You taking your stress out on a child or their friends parents because they had a good time and you obviously didn’t, is not fair.

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brookstar · 26/06/2022 13:27

You grounded her?!

Poor kid

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feathermucker · 26/06/2022 13:28

Why on earth have you grounded her?!

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HSKAT · 26/06/2022 13:29

Grounded?

What on earth for?

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TokyoSushi · 26/06/2022 13:30

OP! You're being ridiculous, and weird.

Both of mine have been to sleepovers this weekend, DD (9) tells me she went to sleep at 1:40am, DS (12) slept in a tent in somebody's back garden, he says he's had about an hour sleep and some didn't sleep at all.

Pretty standard and nothing a quiet Sunday won't sort out!

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girlmom21 · 26/06/2022 13:30

keepsane · 26/06/2022 13:15

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

She's grounded for doing what children do at sleepovers?

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Cornettoninja · 26/06/2022 13:30

You taking your stress out on a child or their friends parents because they had a good time and you obviously didn’t, is not fair.

I think this is bang on.

there’s no need to ‘punish’ not sleeping enough, it has its own natural consequence of being knackered.

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