To be shocked that in the 21st century there's still a staggering amount of women who rely entirely on their husbands?

[EllieRosesMammy]

I see it far too often on MN, women saying their husbands have been cheating on them for years or treating them absolutely terribly, but saying they can't leave because they are entirely financially dependent on their husbands.

Is it just me who finds this mad in 2022? Or is it still normal for men to be 100% the provider of the household?

I just couldn't imagine being stuck in a rubbish situation simply because of money

I am absolutely in no way slating stay at home mums, or house wives here either. I just believe all women should be self sufficient enough that if they're in a bad situation they can walk away

@Foxgluv

no one will love and guide a child in the way a parent does.

Yup.

Not sure what that has to do with sahm though.

ie a sahp v a small baby in large, poor quality nursery 40 hours plus

No it wasnt, it was across different ages in "average" settings. Even the older school age children sitting exams did bettee as the parent was more readily available for homework.

Ahh i keep forgetting its those women that shouldn't make the choice to SAH but the dads can in your eyes.

Even by that study it "proves" a SAHP point...no.
See, you can find a study to prove anything

The question was what benefit does a sahm have to society? So yeah. I'm asking about mums. Why does it need to be a mum?

I've not seen the one about exams so can't comment on that but again. Id imagine it could replicated by 2 working parents sharing the load.

TopGub - as in most situations in life, actions speak louder than works.

Of course you will claim to not be jealous or bitter about SAHMs (I mentioned high-earners because of your comments on other threads).

Yet here you are.

Put it this way,, you yourself are a woman who works in some area if healthcare. Supposing there was a thread every week "AIBU to think nurses are this : that / whatever....?" You would probably gravitate to those threads because they would be about you and your chosen role in life.

But then supposing there was some twit of a SAHM who showed up across all these threads as if a clarion call had gone out - banging on about how nurses should feel; and what they should do and what their husbands must be like. All kinds of utter crap and unfounded stereotypes from someone who has never even met a nurse. On snd on and on..,,

In this scenario, you can be sure that this SAHM has some kind of chip on her shoulder about nurses. Everyone in the thread would see this. . Nearly always, "chips on the shouider" stem from jealousy.

It wouldn't matter how many times and ways the pontificating SAHM claimed she wasn't jealous or bitter. Not would it wash if she tried to claim she was actually interested in some kind of wider debate The very action of her being there says it all.

People who are genuinely interested in structural inequality or wider debate do not present themselves as you do. It's a totally different tone and way of going about things.

Topgub. I will need to stop engaging with you. I might be a SAHM but I fully support working mums. I don't think for a minute I'll never go back to my work. I support a woman's choice.

Just about every page of this thread is taken up by you asking posters to repeat the same answers to the same questions you have.

You're either winding people up or there's a more genuine reason. Either way, I won't be engaging any more.

My mother only worked a few PT hours after having children
As a teenager I decided that I never wanted that type of lifestyle
I wanted more choices & opportunities
I have therefore always worked FT & been independent

There are choices

@limemintice 😊very well put

So you are the higher earner in your marriage TopGub and you have separate finances to your husband? Is that tight?

No wonder you can't comprehend a marriage with a SAHM if you don't even have shared finances. This explains quite a lot.

@limemintice

Weirdly enough I don't agree.

I think your assessment of me says more about me than it does about me but at least you've admitted that you think wm are jealous of sahm because they think its better to be one.

The very act of daring to comment an opposing view males you jealous

🤣

The question was what benefit does a sahm have to society?]

Ive just said better behaved brighter kids? Win win for society

yeah. I'm asking about mums. Why does it need to be a mum?

It doesnt need to be in most the cases i know its a choice.
In the ones where it needs to be its because of the family set up.

I've not seen the one about exams so can't comment on that but again. Id imagine it could replicated by 2 working parents sharing the load

Haha that's not what the study proved and you are all about research, despite actually providing any.

@tiggergoesbounce

You said a study showed a sahp had brighter better behaved kids. Not a sahm

So what's the benefit of a sah mum

It suits families because we live in a sexist society

No I don't think WOHMs are jealous of me or anyone or anything. Don't be ridiculous. I'm talking about you. And the evidence is your interaction on every SAHM thread going. How could anyone think otherwise?

Don't assume you speak for all WOHMs. You don't. You speak for yourself.

@Foxgluv

I keep asking the same questions because you don't answer or you reply with some vague nonsense or PA.

But of course its easier to 'not engage' than reply properly

@limemintice

Interesting you need to make stuff up.

If you need to think I'm jealous to dismiss my valid opinions thats OK.

TopGub - it's very unusual that you have never even met a SAHM?

If you were to meet one in real life, would you be as rude as you are on here?

You said a study showed a sahp had brighter better behaved kids. Not a sahm

Im sure alot of them, if not all maybe, were women, you know due to our sexist society with all those pesky women letting you down 🙄

@limemintice

I've never said I've never even met a sahm lol.

Are you as rude irl when you don't like what's being said or can't cope with being disagreed with?

@tiggergoesbounce

But I'd the study had thought it was the parents sex making the difference rather than 'availability' wouldn't it have said that?

On the last SAHM thread you admitted to a Turkish lady you had never actually met a SAHM.

it suits families better because of our sexist society

Yes, but not at the fault of other women.

At the fault of the stucture forced on them as i have said a million times. Your go to moan should be how its structured so its easier for women than men to be at home. Not at the women who are doing what they do. The SAHM are not the issue here.

@limemintice

What?

No I didnt.

Link it.

I did see on a previous thread people putting a monetary value on the role of SAHM and saying it should be funded.

Presumably they didn't realise that paid roles tend to have an application process to find the right person for the job. You don't get to appoint yourself.

The fact you have never met a SAHM makes your involvement in these threads with "SAHM" in the title even more bizarre.

If you really want to discuss a complex issue structural inequality, why not start a thread about it? It's a far wider issue than the existence or non-existence of SAHMs.

@tiggergoesbounce

Depends on the point being argued I suppose.

Most of the sahm on this thread are arguing its their free choice and they are denying there are any sexist institutional forces affecting their choice.

@limemintice

The fact you're stalking my previous posts and making stuff up about them is what's bizarre here