To let my boys play football/basketball in my garden?

[mrsh1807]

My neighbours have sent me a couple of very unpleasant text messages telling me to stop my boys playing football in our garden as they don’t want to hear it.

I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling really anxious to be honest. They’ve never raised it as a concern before the messages, and the tone was intimidating.

I replied to the first one suggesting we reach an agreement where we can all enjoy our gardens, and this was responded to by them telling, not asking, me to send them to the park down the road. Those were their words, telling not asking. They’re in their early 50s.

Boys are 11 and 15. We have a decent sized garden.

I’m a single parent so feel I’m an easy target.

Do I have any options other than moving house?!

Thanks.

I don’t really want to share my gossipy thoughts which may or may not be irrelevant. I haven’t withheld any material information. I have no further facts to share.

My musings are wrong football game at the wrong time. Maybe they’d just had a row. I don’t know. I most likely never will.

Just hope the current status quo remains!

Tbh @PoseyFlump you've had a different reason to criticise OP at every turn.

Some of those ' reasons' didn't even exist like the swearing boys, and the spending longer in the garden. Or your suspicions about how long this had been going on.

You fell on the damaged plants and the neighbour as reasons. They barely figure.

OP has answered you at every turn and you have never acknowledged when you got things plain wrong or when things were explained by OP. And yet you still huffily suggest she doesn't answer questions and she should put this in chat.

AND NOW because OP won't speculate /gossip about possible reasons for her neighbour's behaviour ( because she has NO other facts and says as much )
"It's pointless "

I'd say it's pointless discussing this on here with you. You made up your mind at the start probably projecting your own experiences and that was it.

This was my response to OP on the 22nd June.

Well what happened?

It was the neighbours text messages that mentioned damage and disrespectful kids. I didn't make that up. I simply suggested the older kids could have been doing that without the OP knowing. My main issue was with the posters constantly coming on here telling the OP to tell her neighbours to fuck off without reading the thread. People don't reach the end of their tether for nothing. It's far better to figure out why he got angry than to just say he's a dick. Presuming someone wants less hassle going forward, not more. Everyone should take responsibility for their part in the matter. I agree children should be able to play in their garden. But 15 is not a giggling 4 year old and they don't always tell their parents the truth.

My main issue was with the posters constantly coming on here telling the OP to tell her neighbours to fuck off without reading the thread. People don't reach the end of their tether for nothing. It's far better to figure out why he got angry than to just say he's a dic

Didn't really sound like it. Hardly the OP's fault.

But 15 is not a giggling 4 year old and they don't always tell their parents the truth.

Of course. And some neighbours are absolute hell.

And Mr Telling Not Asking v an unquestionably reasonable OP?

But hey you do you.

And you do you. Did the OP pay for the damaged plants in the end?

I think you've got things muddled again tbh.

Do not send your kids to the park!! I don't know what your neighbourhood is like but your boys are the perfect age for slightly older kids to pressure them into drinking/ smoking/ drugs etc. If all they want to do is play football then let them play in their garden where they are safe.

Tell that grumpy neighbour of yours that your children will be using their garden however they like as it belongs to you but you won't let them be out before 10am and after 9pm.

I feel there is more going on for you with your demanding neighbors than a bouncing ball for a half-hour here and there. Not compromising nor even talking about the noise issue is bullying and an attempt to intimidate you. Text them to contact you when they have calmed down enough to speak as neighbors and not adversaries. You live in a neighborhood with kids, you get normal noise. Good noise, happy kids playing noise, you know the noises of the joys of life. It can be annoying to some, sure but, that is life in the city. This is more a delicate, picky, demanding, old-fart behavior. Let your kids, be kids. Maybe cut down on the yelling a tiny bit. You are a single Mom and no longer have the privilege of being scared or intimidated. You have a bad-ass inside of you, we all do. Give her a self-defense class and buy some new big badass girl panties. I have full confidence in you. Hugs

Go round and take your lads with you. I bet they won't say a single thing.

Perhaps you could block their calls. Who needs nasty messages?