To ask how many people you've slept with?

[ErinAndTonic]

Do you even know the number.. I was thinking today that I've never actually 'tallied' it (not sure if it's a more male thing to do!) but I think it's around 9 or 10.

I've no idea what's considered high/low for women.. and I assume mens are higher.. although my partner tells me he's only slept with 2 people which shocked me! 

You can ask, but I'm not going to tell you.

No idea. More than 1, less than 50.

I never asked my partner nor has he me, it just came up.

I'm not particularly sensitive about it.. didn't realise so many people were

2 & DH is 2 also. But I guess it depends when the relationship started - we were teenagers so chance of a higher number if you met later in life

I also don't know. More than 3, less than 10? The number isn't meaningful, its the experience that makes meaning and that might include a large or small number.

One and a half. The first one wasn't really the full thing.

No idea but probably around 40. Very few of those in recent years!

3 for me.

I have no idea for DH as we have never discussed it. I suspect around 20.

I can't remember.
Quite a few.

Yes you are. Why does it matter?

1

2, but Im youngish and have time on my side to up that number significantly 😄

Around 100

It doesn't really, I'm just interested. I agree with the comments that it's not about the number, I was just curious. I'm in a long term relationship myself and I guess wondered where I fell on the spectrum. No need to reply if you're not comfortable - I feel anonymous enough on here to share.

Wouldn't be able to add it up but its going to be high. I was searching for love and affection as a young adult, unfortunately for various reasons associated that with sex.

Lots.

I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s.

Do numbers matter? Only when someone else is going to use them to judge you - either for being "frigid" or a "slag" IME.

This kind of thread doesn’t ever end well because the women who have lived a happy, consensual, adventurous sex life, get subtly called the kind of names that belong in the 1950s or 1960s.

or the head tilting question of “how could you possibly have the time?” Or “doesn’t it get exhausting trying to remember all the names” kind of stuff

Then you get the other side of the coin which is “1 or 2 (including DH) and proud of it” kind of thing

Me? I’m somewhere between 50 and 100. I am happy with this and no regrets. My attractive (to me) OH has a fair bit fewer in his number but he was in a very long relationship from 21 to 33 years of age.

the key is, we both have very similar matched sex drives which is why he’s happy with my number and I get his.

About 15 but only 1 for the last 25 years

About 25.

Over 20 but under 30

Two long-term relationships and a one-night stand.

About 20. Only one since I met DH aged 25 though.

I stopped counting, felt weird to keep a proper tally.

Bit confused why you think mens would be be generally higher? Unless they are only having sex with each other, surely it should be about the same as women. Unless there is just like a few powerful women taking it for the team?

About 40 but honestly can't remember most of them and neither do I want to 🤢

No idea! I was raped as a child which impacted me and was a factor in making me very promiscuous. I first had consensual sex at 13 so around 15 years ago. The number I'd say is more than 50, less than 100.

I do think it's an odd question to ask and if I had to guess it's for quotes and/or research for some weird article!

Women are definitely still called derogatory names for daring to be sexually active whereas boys aren't which I think is disgraceful. It's the same with masturbation, seen as completely normal, a need even for men, but something shameful for women.

Too many women are shamed of their bodies and/or hugely uninformed about it, how their bodies work and the fact that we are all very different.