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Original poster

To ask is my DD the only Promzilla?

180 replies

Stopthebusplease · 19/06/2022 20:46

My DD appears to be getting in a real state about her forthcoming prom, organising everyone to go and pay homage to her on 'her' big night, and throwing her toys out of the pram if anyone puts any slight obstacle in the way of her 'perfect' night.
You'd think she was planning a wedding, not just a night out.
I know that it's an important 'right of passage' these days, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's all worth it, if it causes this much anxiety.
Are all the girls like this?
Do any of the boys get in this state?
I bet they don't, I bet they just put their suit on, brush their hair and off they go, so why do the girls get in such a state, or is it just my DD?

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 19/06/2022 20:50

I think teenage girls behave how you allow them to.

No one should be 'paying homage' to her, frankly. She's being silly. It's a night out to celebrate the end of their exams. Nothing more.

CapitanSandy · 19/06/2022 20:56

I can’t remember getting in a state about prom more excited really.

How has your DD been lately? Could she be transferring her worries about exams and leaving school on to having a perfect prom night?

When I’m stressed about something I can focus on things being perfect without realising. It’s quite common when stressed.

3amAndImStillAwake · 19/06/2022 20:56

organising everyone to go and pay homage to her

What exactly do you mean by this? What does paying homage to her look like in her plans?

mnahmnah · 19/06/2022 20:56

I’m a yr 11 form tutor this year and our prom is this week. My girls have been happily chatting about their dresses and are booked in for hair etc. but the focus is absolutely on their exams still. Definitely no stress about prom.

WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa · 19/06/2022 20:56

I'm a Head of Year 11. The pressure on all the students this year, because they haven't properly gone ahead for two years, is insane (and therefore on me to get it right for them😂)

This is coming at a time when parents really can't afford to pay out the big bucks. We are seeing a lot of 'fill up the limo and each pay a share" instead of every couple getting their own car. Lots of dresses coming from SHEIN (not judging - my own daughter bought her Y13 prom dress from there). We are paying out for tickets, transport and clothes for some students to make sure the attend - so it's pressure on a lot of fronts.

The girls are terrified of having the same dress as anyone else, terrified of getting it wrong style wise, terrified of not being perfect because this year it's REALLY BIG DEAL.

BigChiefSausage · 19/06/2022 21:21

I didn't go to mine. I thought the whole thing was bollocks and I hated dressing up.

merryhouse · 19/06/2022 21:22

But it's only "a really big deal This Year" for people who were involved in the horrors of the previous two years, which your Y11s weren't (*)

(*) I know they had their own horrors around the pandemic, but they were unaffected by cancelled proms and teacher-grade GCSEs

The only reason kids think the prom is Really Important is because the adults around them are telling them it is. (I once watched a programme which completely unironically described a (US) Senior Prom as "the most important night of their lives" which is obviously utterly ridiculous...)

OP, tell your daughter that her prom is a Celebration Party, nothing more, nothing less. Obviously you want her to enjoy it, but she doesn't need to put together a portfolio for the event, or write a thesis.

Bigsenoritata · 19/06/2022 21:22

Homage?! You're all drunk.

merryhouse · 19/06/2022 21:23

ffs, there were asterisks there

Loadedforest · 19/06/2022 21:24

It’s not ‘all girls’ it’s your daughter. H2h

Springduckling · 19/06/2022 21:26

There's always been girls who go way ott about it. I would have thought the pandemic would have been an antidote to all the hype.

This time last year my dd had hers, the kids had to test negative for covid in school on the day of the prom so this did give them the perspective on it.

Both my dc said it was over hyped. The after party was better than the prom itself, but its a rite of passage as you say.

MindPalace · 19/06/2022 21:29

No, it was just a party for them. It must be different at different schools. At their school, there was no getting hair, nails and make up done, no limos etc, it was just dresses off ASOS. They seemed to really enjoy themselves though.

nex18 · 19/06/2022 21:33

Dd loved the preparation and the pampering, much more of an event to be excited about than a wedding imo.

DialsMavis · 19/06/2022 21:35

I don't think it is all girls, my friends DD was trying on her mums old dresses from the 90s last night for her prom. I offered her my wedding shoes but she is wearing Converse. She is disgustingly effortlessly gorgeous and cool though and I think just wants to get pissed with her mates

Tsandjdarethrbest · 19/06/2022 21:38

DS will get a suit this week and pick one of his dad’s ties. He’s looking forward to it it but otherwise focusing on finishing his exams.

altiara · 19/06/2022 21:41

My DD has prom next month. No promzilla so far.

SoupDragon · 19/06/2022 21:41

Are all the girls like this?

No, of course they aren't. DD's had fun choosing a dress and shoes but she is certainly not behaving like a spoilt brat.

worraliberty · 19/06/2022 21:50

mnahmnah · 19/06/2022 20:56

I’m a yr 11 form tutor this year and our prom is this week. My girls have been happily chatting about their dresses and are booked in for hair etc. but the focus is absolutely on their exams still. Definitely no stress about prom.

But you're their tutor, not their parent so how would you know how many tantrums they may have thrown at home?

mnahmnah · 19/06/2022 21:51

@worraliberty

Sorry for responding! Crikey. Talk about picking at something for the sake of it.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 19/06/2022 21:52

Didn't you know it's a chance for young women to "come out" into society and they must look their best and be adored by all so they can gain the good opinion of the 16-year-old Darcys of the ball whose job it is to feign interest because they're busy getting stoned out back doing pouty important stuff

Happyplace88 · 19/06/2022 21:53

Honestly my daughter has been lovely. Grateful for her dress and shoes, careful not to show me styles that were too expensive. I’m treating her to having her makeup professionally done as she really lacks confidence and she is so pleased but not at all demanding.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 19/06/2022 21:53

whose job it is to feign disinterest

Testina · 19/06/2022 21:55

My Y9 has had a Pinterest board of ideas since late Y7 🙈
She loves fashion and parties.
None of this “homage” shit though… 🤣

mathanxiety · 19/06/2022 21:56

I think you need to sit her down and tell her to get a grip.

Speaking as the mother of four daughters who all went to their senior proms in the US, where we live.

We're not in the South though - getting all worked up about prom and promoting yourself to the role of princess is considered trashy Southern (or Jersey shore) malarkey.

Puffalicious · 19/06/2022 22:04

You need to tell her to get it in perspective or she may end up building up into this huge deal and nothing will.live up to it.

DS1 had his a few weeks back (Scotland so exams all finished much earlier). He decided to wear his dad's kilt and all accessories, sorted his hair, jumped in my car with his mates and preceeded to have a most excellent time. No dramas. He got in at 4:30am, but they are all 18 or almost.