To ask is my DD the only Promzilla?

[Stopthebusplease]

My DD appears to be getting in a real state about her forthcoming prom, organising everyone to go and pay homage to her on 'her' big night, and throwing her toys out of the pram if anyone puts any slight obstacle in the way of her 'perfect' night.
You'd think she was planning a wedding, not just a night out.
I know that it's an important 'right of passage' these days, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's all worth it, if it causes this much anxiety.
Are all the girls like this?
Do any of the boys get in this state?
I bet they don't, I bet they just put their suit on, brush their hair and off they go, so why do the girls get in such a state, or is it just my DD?

All the frothing about it being an American import is utterly ridiculous.

are we only meant to stick to things that originated on our insular little island? Are you really that scared of "foreign" things that it needs all the hyperbolic handwringing about "American shit"?

things change, people and TV come from other countries along with their ideas and traditions and things evolve. It was traditional in the UK for "debutantes" to be presented to society and this isn't really that dissimilar.

I'm inclined to agree with you @SoupDragon. Although I also think that some teenage girls really go OTT about the year 11 prom. It all calms down by year 13.

Bollocks is it.
Not that the Irish don’t have a big Debs do but the whole limos and dresses thing is straight over from America.
Anything that encourages teens to be more conventional (formal wear, hair and make up) after years of school uniform and at vast expense is a bad idea. Glad is going back to second hand dresses and drinking round the back like a pre 90’s school disco.

Nope, the limos and dresses are Irish too. And there are party buses, just as you sometimes see in America.
www.irishmirror.ie/incoming/debs-10-essential-things-you-6131501
American teens tend to have drivers licenses and access to a car, and sometimes a gang will squeeze into someone's mam's minivan though.

There is at least one company turning a profit organising debs instead of the normal school debs committee.
www.debsireland.com/

And the vast majority of American teens don't wear school uniform and still go all out for the formal wear. Back when I had my debs the norm was to wear a white dress. I didn't. The trend has been toward expressing your own individuality ever since, spending as much or as little as you can get away with.

www.laoistoday.ie/2018/08/02/in-pictures-a-glimpse-of-style-at-the-portlaoise-cbs-debs/
www.laoistoday.ie/2018/07/29/in-pictures-serious-style-at-the-knockbeg-college-debs/ (Carlow)

Not saying it’s not an Irish thing ( hence filtered into US culture).
But they are called Proms not Debs.

I know they're proms in the UK and US.

But they're all debs by another name.

My daughter is getting stressed about her hair/makeup not going right on the night but apart from that she’s fine. Exams are finished now, last one today and we still have a week so that may change 😂

Uk, school finishes at 16 unless you stay on. You have to stay in education/training until 18 but not necessarily at school.

Where we are yes all senior schools do. Eldest is 31 and she had a prom too.

Only a few not going at my Kids school. It’s in a big posh hotel. There are no after parties. Apparently some kids are going to the local park afterwards though but it doesn’t finish until 11pm so if my daughter thinks she’s coming home and getting changed and going back out at midnight she got another think coming 😂

Not sure of your area, although students are legally able to leave at 16, very few do here. No jobs, hard even to claim benefits.
The vast majority leave at 18.

A lot of secondary schools are 11 - 16, so a large number of pupils leave their secondary school at 16 to go to 6th form college. Schools in some counties don't even have a 6th form, so all pupils leave school at 16 and then do A levels or other post 16 education at college.

Irish secondary education is from age 12-13 to 17-18 for all, a five year cycle plus a transition year before the last two years. There are those who drop out along the way, much moreso in some areas than others.

But that’s the point. We now have Proms because of the Americans. Otherwise we’d have Debs if was Irish culture that influenced us.
Its like Halloween. We all know the Scottish did it first. But the Halloween of today is an American import.

Anyway hope they all had a great time. The dress thing is weird though. Why the terrible long things that have never been in fashion. Surely “cocktail dress” would be better for 16 year olds.
We used to have balls in my day. Rugby club ball, fundraising events. Proper ball gowns. Gave you a great shape and fun to swoosh around in.

Gave you a great shape and fun to swoosh around in.

which is exactly why they don't wear "cocktail dresses"

@SoupDragon But they can’t swoosh in long formal gowns or whatever the polyester monstrosities are called. Unless they have a huge split you can’t even stride in them. It just makes teenagers look middle aged. And I don’t know any middle aged women they would flatter either.
Cocktail dresses are short and fancy or longer and plain. Much more teenage if they have to wear “smart formal” at all.

It just makes teenagers look middle aged

it really doesn't 😂 I would love to look "middle aged" if that was how my DD looked last week 😂😂

there was lots of swishing going on too.

My DD was super low-key about prom. We got a nice dress and shoes from the high street. She did her own hair and make-up. We took some photos in our front garden. Dropped her and friends in my car. She had a fab time.

I'm glad I hadn't spent anything to speak of on DS's Prom. It's tonight and he and I are both Covid stricken so obviously he can't go. I had bought him a suit earlier this year but he's already worn it for sports clubs dinners etc and it will do for interviews so it's not wasted. He paid for his own ticket but I might give him the money back for that given it's a situation out of his control. So no harm done basically. But if I'd spent vast amounts on an outfit and transport etc I would have been very unhappy!

Oh, what a shame. I hope you both feel better soon @MrsAvocet

Thanks RampantIvy. He's actually not that bothered. The vast majority of his year are returning for 6th form, including all his friends so it's not like places where it's a real "leaving" event. He'll see them all soon enough. He was really only bothered about losing his money but now I've told him I'll refund him, he's happy.
I've just been panicking because his best friend stayed with us earlier in the week and best friend's girlfriend has gone to quite a bit of trouble. I think it's all a bit of nonsense personally but I wouldn't want those who do take it seriously to have their night spoiled. Fortunately best friend seems to have escaped and hopefully they'll have a good time. I know it wouldn't have really been our fault but I'd have felt responsible if he'd caught it and her plans had been scuppered!

To be honest mrs as a parent who has prom next week there isn’t a cat in hells chance of me testing my kid

testing is not advised do you realise that? I understand if he’s I’ll then he can’t go but why on earth are people still actively testing their kids and spoiling their plans when we are told not to? It’s not necessary anymore - there is no way any of dds and ds mates would miss prom for covid

If you suspect covid you'd have to be a selfish prick to go somewhere crowded like Prom without testing.

Why soup?believe it or not I don’t know a single teen who gives two hoots about covid

no one cares anymore

if people wanna act like it’s 2020 that’s fine but in real world everyone else is getting on qith iy

It’s a shit parent who keeps kid from prom if they are well enough to go - especially when most adults are back at work with it

I'm sure they would care if they gave it to a vulnerable friend or relative or had to miss their summer holiday because of it.

it's a shit parent who lets their child run about like a plague dog.

Being sensible isn't living "like it's 2020" and it's still possible to get on with life without being a selfish prick.