To ask is my DD the only Promzilla?

[Stopthebusplease]

My DD appears to be getting in a real state about her forthcoming prom, organising everyone to go and pay homage to her on 'her' big night, and throwing her toys out of the pram if anyone puts any slight obstacle in the way of her 'perfect' night.
You'd think she was planning a wedding, not just a night out.
I know that it's an important 'right of passage' these days, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's all worth it, if it causes this much anxiety.
Are all the girls like this?
Do any of the boys get in this state?
I bet they don't, I bet they just put their suit on, brush their hair and off they go, so why do the girls get in such a state, or is it just my DD?

mummydoris2006 I agree! I spent a lot on my DDs prom, don't regret it one bit.
She had a memorable evening and it was a lovely way to end her schooling.
She is not a self centred person ( now a quailified staff nurse working in children's intensive care unit).
I am glad she enoyed her prom and felt pampered.

Op asked if all girls are the same about prom so that's why people have replied that their dd isn't.

It's a fair question.
Some girls are , some not. Either is is OK.
Isn't it ok just to accept defferences?

Yep and I haven't claimed otherwise

It's a horrible American import and should be banned immediately!
(Along with Halloween.)

My DD is obsessed and it is all she talks about lately. Funny because normally she doesn't really bother with much make up or nails and gets stressed getting her hair poker straight so doesnt bother. I think maybe because she doesnt usually bother too much she wants to go full out - the really girly girls who always look pristine with full make up and not a hair out of place seem to be the ones that aren't as bothered perhaps because to them it is just their normal routine.

My DD is a size 16 so I knew we would have issues getting dress from shein, ASOS etc so we went to a bridal shop and we had top notch service with the excellent owner who knew exactly what colour and style would suit her. He also will not sell the same style dress to any other girl from her school. We paid £200 but the service was outstanding but we have had to add hair make up and nails onto that and I was surprised because usually she doesn't bother. Lovely to see her so excited about dressing up.

I don't like the concept I think it is a huge expense for one night but to some of them it really is a big deal. My DD is a perfectionist so I know the afternoon of the prom is going to be a nightmare because she is going to want everything perfect and I think her perfectionism is why she doesn't bother much with hair and make up because she would have to get up at 4am to make sure it was perfect.

It’s normal teenage behaviour it sounds as if almost every teen is going through a stage of drama and being demanding they are all divas lately. Once she’s older you can both laugh together. Make sure you can get her on the camcorder for later. Make a fuss of her and just go with it after all we were all once a teenager. It’s good she’s going to prom as most teens love it so make some happy memories with your daughter. Good luck.

Except Halloween is not from the US.
Our Irish and Scottish ancestors too Halloween to the Americas.

"took"

When did proms start being a thing in the uk?

Glad I had boys! One didn't go at all and the other one bought a suit in the sales and had a bath before going out !
I've heard it can cause drama , but it is a big deal for the girls. I hope she enjoys it op , it'll soon be over!

We had tears in tbe dress shop because DD wasn't happy with the way her dress fitted across the top, we had hair and make up trials, then hair and make up on the day, friend to help her dressed, reception in garden for friends before they all went off to prom. DD now says she didnt really like her dress but worried she might not find anything else. It's turned into a massive event now, just go with the flow, it doesnt last long

I'd say around 20 years ago, maybe a bit longer.

Is she very image conscious on social media? If so, it may be that she is a bit vain and being a bit of a brat TBH. Have a word.

No Promzillas at the school where I work. Sadly, just total apathy. Only 7 students bought tickets, so it's been cancelled.

In year 6 my DC had a prom/leavers disco
11 they were.
From the day the letter went out, I started getting messages about potential dresses. All over £75+ (for an 11 year old. Ridiculous).
They wanted hair done, make up, can me and my mates have a limo? You name it, we had it. Pink, glitter, little tiara, matching bag, girliest thing ever and everything was to be perfect. Not just them, the girls were all like it. None of them got a £75+ dress for the record, they got a gown that was a bridesmaid dress which was bought secondhand.

At the late teen age they are now? Can't bribe them to put anything pink, dress, skirt or glittery on. Mention make up and you get told how you are pushing misogyny and patriarchal norms on to them and females shouldn't subscribe to male ideals on beauty/make up etc.
They are also a they.

Something about proms makes girls go mental and want to outdo each other. I suppose in older ones it's for the 'gram or snap?

No harm really.

The competitive mumming on here is hilarious.

I've found boys are much more relaxed about these things. Its not "cool" to obsess and get anxious over these things as a guy.

As for her behaviour, tell her to rein it in and stop being a gob-s*e (pardon the expression). I am sure she is a kind girl, and at the same time people aren't going to appreciate or tolerate her behaviour. Id start the conversation with...

"My love, I understand this is an important night for you and its great that you are excited. But if you carry on acting like the bollocks people will tell you to get your head out of your arse. This isn't about you, and life isn't. Get a grip and realise this now, rather than when you get to adulthood and people put you in your place. I hope that makes sense my lovely."

:P

@Herejustforthisone

I'm not the only one that notices it haha

I think girls latch on to the idea of prom because the big ‘ sweet 16 birthdays’ like they have in the US or quinceaneras, where a girl has her moment stepping out a young woman in an evening gown, just don’t happen here.

Not all of these girls will go to uni and attend a ball. It may be there only chance to wear such a dress (although wedding guest attire is rapidly changing and I see many evening gowns now)

Its almost like an old fashioned debutante ball.

It will be over soon enough OP. Just smile and nod

I call it the love island effect. Nothing in their life can be done without drama. I’m also seeing it in my 18 year old sons relationship with his girlfriend, everything is drama and semi abusive (not saying he’s perfect and not part of the problem)

Thank god Prom didn't exist when I was a teenager. I'd have been a nightmare.

This attitude makes me rather cross. They weren’t unaffected by the horrors of the pandemic at all - if anything they have probably suffered a lot more educationally than anyone else ! Their entire 2 years of specific GCSE education has been disrupted - the last 2 years of school has been nothing but home learning, missing teachers, missing field trips and then missing classes because they have Covid themselves. I think a fair fee students probably benefitted from teacher grade GCSEs too! My daughter is Yr11 and isn’t making a big deal about her prom at all - but that is not because the last 2 years have not affected her much . It’s not a big deal to her because as others have said it is simply an end of year celebration. It’s nice they’ve been able to have one, but I think she would happily have swapped that for 2 or even 1 year of normal school .

This attitude makes me rather cross. They weren’t unaffected by the horrors of the pandemic at all - if anything they have probably suffered a lot more educationally than anyone else ! Their entire 2 years of specific GCSE education has been disrupted - the last 2 years of school has been nothing but home learning, missing teachers, missing field trips and then missing classes because they have Covid themselves. I think a fair fee students probably benefitted from teacher grade GCSEs too! My daughter is Yr11 and isn’t making a big deal about her prom at all - but that is not because the last 2 years have not affected her much . It’s not a big deal to her because as others have said it is simply an end of year celebration. It’s nice they’ve been able to have one, but I think she would happily have swapped that for 2 or even 1 year of normal school .

My dd and most of those she knows aren’t bothered about a prom and won’t be going. it’s astonishing schools are still enabling this performance of spend power borrowed from the vacuous parts of the US and I’m heartily glad my girls haven’t bought into it.

their school is struggling to sell tickets, FWIW.