To ask is my DD the only Promzilla?

[Stopthebusplease]

My DD appears to be getting in a real state about her forthcoming prom, organising everyone to go and pay homage to her on 'her' big night, and throwing her toys out of the pram if anyone puts any slight obstacle in the way of her 'perfect' night.
You'd think she was planning a wedding, not just a night out.
I know that it's an important 'right of passage' these days, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's all worth it, if it causes this much anxiety.
Are all the girls like this?
Do any of the boys get in this state?
I bet they don't, I bet they just put their suit on, brush their hair and off they go, so why do the girls get in such a state, or is it just my DD?

I'm inclined to agree with this, the very first answer.

@Stopthebusplease Can you explain what you mean by "paying homage to her" please?

Are all the girls like this? No
Do any of the boys get in this state? None that I know of, but then, none of the girls I know did either (and that's quite a lot of girls, over the years)

I bet they don't, I bet they just put their suit on, brush their hair and off they go, so why do the girls get in such a state
Well, going on the few years of my experiences, the girls don't either.

or is it just my DD? I can't claim to know about hundreds of thousands of girls Nationwide, but I don't know anyone who has "got in a state" about their Prom, nor "expected anyone to pay homage".

Not sure what the AIBU question is, so can't really vote as not sure what I am answering.

My son does the IB so finished third week of May. They had a student organised prom night then - he just bought a suit a few weeks before and put it on and went. There is a red carpet parents and kids celebration at the school on Friday. He and his friends are not going. He is working and off on holiday the next day with friends. They feel like they have left school now and they can’t imagine anything worse than going to an event with their parents. 😂 I feel for the school organising though…

Don't think I got into a state. I did the hair, dress and nails but got the bus there and just had fun. Didn't find any of it stressful.

She needs to be told to stop being so ridiculous and wind it in.

Well I went to mine in 1992, and it wasn’t a new thing for my school then.

No “after party” though as the prom was the party. It was basically a glorified school disco which went on until about 11pm.

No idea, i had mine 2011, cousins was 2006... so a while

Lord only knows why a prom is necessary. Limos and nails and expensive outfits. It’s imported from America and completely ridiculous.

Who has allowed her to act this way? I bet it's not the first time.

My daughter point blank refused to go to her prom. She can't wait to leave school and leave all the bitches behind that bullied her, both male and female.
I was a bit gutted because I would of loved to have seen her all dressed looking beautiful but then I remembered that I was the same, I hated school and everyone who made my life hell and going to a prom would have been my worst nightmy. The last thing I would have wanted was to dress up and be in the same place as all the bastards that I couldn't wait to get away from.
It's sad really because she earned the golden ticket for prom. This was because she had worked really hard all the way through senior school so she got the ticket half price. But she still didn't want to go. So for the price of her prom ticket I've said I'll pay for her to have her ears pierced and for the price of a prom dress, I said I would kit her out with nice clothes for collage and anything else she needs. Sounds like a plan and least I won't need to be trying to sell a prom gown on FB in a few months time 🙂. Plus her best mate feels exactly the same so on prom night they are having a nice girly sleep over.

Reading with intrigue

Who actually goes to the proper prom and doesn't just go get pissed in the park or a free house. It's uncool to go to the actual school prom or so I thought 😆

Almost all the school year went to my DDs prom- only 2 or 3 didn't attend. It was a big event.

If no one went, they wouldn't go to the hassle of organising one.

At my kid's secondary school there was a student commitee set up to organise the event. 3 or 4 students plus a teacher or two. It was a useful exercise in planning.
The students phoned up suitable venues, handle the bookings, the catering, the dj and entertainment, cost everything out, get the tickets printed, sold the tickets.
Very few students did not attend,

Proms. WTF. Americanised, over hyped shit. It's an end of term disco at the end of the day.
Tell your daughter to calm the F down.

I’m Liverpool and proms are huge deal

dd dress alone cost me £550 with alternations and most people I know paid £300+

then it’s the hair
makeup
nails
tan

pre prom party in the afternoon (usually Prosecco balloons and photos in someone’s house)

then it’s prom til midnight

then it’s after prom midnight til about 3am - again at someone’s house - and they wear a separate outfit for that!

it’s the same for all comps round here! Dd and her mates are obsessed and I love it! So nice to have something to look forward to and actually, contrary to what other poster said, I feel the current year 11 have had it worse out of all the covid years as they missed half year 9, shit loads of year 10 and had to sit actual gcses - unlike the others. Dd would have loved predicted grades rather than being tested on a load of stuff most haven’t covered due to isolations and staff absence etc

oh and the exam timetable duration has been horrendous!

@Nedward - no, they're not Americanised and they're not an end of term disco.

The end of school debutantes ball is an old Irish tradition which has been going strong for at least a century, becoming more and more widespread as the decades have gone by.

Entire towns turn up to give the kids a big sendoff to the 'debs'. It's a formal, sit-down meal in a hotel, with a dance afterwards, followed by a few hours in a nightclub, and usually followed by breakfast at a restaurant/diner.

The Irish Times runs a debs edition with features on dresses, fashionable suits, shoes, etc.

Lord only knows why a prom is necessary. Limos and nails and expensive outfits. It’s imported from America and completely ridiculous.

@jaynecooper

Nope, it's Irish.

And fun.

If it comes from Ireland then it makes sense it's massive in Liverpool. Went to a London Comp in 1987-1992 we did nothing of the sort, too busy going to the Brixton academy and night clubs, in vest tops and combats, would have hated to wear a party dress at 16.

The debs in Ireland is held after the Leaving Cert, meaning that the majority of students attending are 18ish.

In my school in the early 80s, students who had left school before 18 had the chance to buy a ticket and go if they wanted. Many did. It was nice to see them again and catch up.

This brought back reading Normal People by Sally Rooney!

Mother of a year 11 daughter here. There is an awful lot of anguish going on about prom dresses when they should still be focusing on their last exams but to be expected after two years of hell I guess!

So glad I had boys lol , only youngest lad went to one middle one didn't bother and don't remember them having one when eldest left.
As a female I get her anxieties , so much pressure on girls to look good and school prom is a big competition that all the girls prob trying to out do each other, maybe there is a boy she's desperate to impress too so I do get why she's getting upset and diva ish , just need to try find out why she is getting so upset about it and just try to be supportive but also try calm her down and reassure her if possible,

Bollocks is it.
Not that the Irish don’t have a big Debs do but the whole limos and dresses thing is straight over from America.
Anything that encourages teens to be more conventional (formal wear, hair and make up) after years of school uniform and at vast expense is a bad idea. Glad is going back to second hand dresses and drinking round the back like a pre 90’s school disco.

DS had prom last year. For him and his mates it was a chance to meet up after working for the summer as it was delayed due to Covid. They all had their GCSE results and could enjoy the night.

Wore a suit he’d had for work experience, I made him polish his shoes. He was way more bothered about the gear for the after-party in his mate’s forest (camping stuff, beer). No limo, they piled in the back of an ancient Land Rover defender- fortunately it was decent weather.

He’d complained that I was “making him go”. He loved it, even the dancing.

My year 11 leavers prom was in 2002 and there were girls exactly how OP is describing her DD then too.

It was a big deal for a lot of us. Girls trying to bunk off school early to get hair, make up and spray tans done. Nails and pedicures etc. I remember a bulletin coming round the form rooms saying "if you leave school early, you won't be allowed to come inside the venue". Some booked limos as a group. I think tickets to go were £25. Some girls had dresses costing hundreds. Families came to eave groups off and take pictures. I'm sure there were some girls with corsages but

As it was, for me, my "friends" had all coupled up so they ditched me the week before and I wasn't allowed to go with them in the limo or be at their table. I looked nice but still remember the brave face I had to put on all night.