To ask is my DD the only Promzilla?

[Stopthebusplease]

My DD appears to be getting in a real state about her forthcoming prom, organising everyone to go and pay homage to her on 'her' big night, and throwing her toys out of the pram if anyone puts any slight obstacle in the way of her 'perfect' night.
You'd think she was planning a wedding, not just a night out.
I know that it's an important 'right of passage' these days, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's all worth it, if it causes this much anxiety.
Are all the girls like this?
Do any of the boys get in this state?
I bet they don't, I bet they just put their suit on, brush their hair and off they go, so why do the girls get in such a state, or is it just my DD?

Where I live most schools don't have a 6th form, they go onto colleges for Alevels/btechs.

This is part of why high Street shops are closing!

If DD had ideas about people paying homage to her, she'd have been laughed out of them the first time she suggested it.

Because most are at the end if Y11, after 5 years of being with peers all growing from being a young kid to an young person on the cusp of adulthood.

Because a lot of kids go to sixth form and it's a completely different vibe and end of course experience.

Wr, no it isn’t. Specialised prom shops weren’t even a thing a few years ago.

I mean people going to brick stores, trying their wares, and then not purchasing anything and buying it online because it's cheaper.

Is there something else going on OP? Things that spring to mind (as a teacher in a pastoral role for that age group) are exam stress or feeling she has messed up her exams so needs this to be the big deal instead. Or there is still a bit of a thing about losing virginity on prom night (not in the sense of finding anyone, but if they have been dating someone a little while they still set prom night as 'the' night).

I've just not allowed this to happen but my kids know I'm a bit of a hippy so we have preloved dress (22 quid!) And we are done!

My oldest is finishing year 13 and having all the end of an era stuff now. Of course he is the Covid cohort so there may have been yr 11 stuff in previous years. But round here most schools go to 18 and the big celebrations tend to be then.

Huge well done for being the perfect parent .

I doubt very much OP's DD is not a nice person. Maybe she's obsessed because she's feeling super anxious about it all?!

My dd is the opposite. She is happy to go in her mate's dad's car, isn't interested in make up or hair dos, doesn't want to wear heels etc, wants wear her jewellery she already owns. We brought her a nice outfit and I got her a bag from Harrod's as a treat to use on the night as I'm more bothered about this being a special night than she is! The current year 11s have missed out on so much with Covid.

You need to rein her in. You need to raise an adult who is level headed and socialised. Not a narcissistic. It's not just her night. Its everyone's. And it's only a party.

A mixed bag at my dd’s school. A lot are going a bit ott, a lot aren’t lol. They’re more bothered about where they’re going afterwards! She’s doing one hair and makeup and bought a reasonable priced dress. However the ticket cost £50 which I think is excessive actually

Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say, is it?

Own hair and makeup

I do agree that it’s been the first opportunity to look forward to a big deal event for two years and that’s skewing usual behaviours slightly.

Social media, innit, OP. Prom's a big deal now and I suspect lots of girls get a bit overwrought.

Take with a pinch of salt all the posters saying their daughters didn't even realise until 6.55 that it was even prom night so just threw on any old frock and popped along just to show willing.

Round my way they go bonkers for it. Limos, photos in the park beforehand, fancy outfits, prom beauty sessions etc. I bet there are plenty of girls who take it very seriously indeed and bang on to their long-suffering families.

Everyone needs to stop pandering to her.

DD got a dress and make up from Debenhams. She wore the make up once then after a year it went into the bin. She had her hair washed and styled at the hairdresser. Her boyfriend's dad took them both in his car.

No zilla behaviour here.

Some get like that. Some don't. Like everything in life these things have different impacts on people.

That's why you have bridezilla threads here. It's not everyone but there are good select few.

Round my way about 8 years ago the end of year 6 disco started being a prom in some local schools.

Now if you want to see kids behaving like brats over a prom then visit my local junior schools in July

Short answer no. Ensure you clam down on this or it's bound to be a disaster

It sounds like she has the idea from American movies. When I was a teen in America, before prom all of the families of a friendship group gathered at one house to take pictures etc… It was usually close family with grandparents there too. It was a big deal, there would be food for everyone and the boys would give the girls their corsages. It sounds like maybe this is what your daughter has in her head is what happens.

Mine didn't even bother with a new dress (they were, one still is, musicians so had evening gowns. Perhaps this is the difference, they had worn full evening wear many, dozens of times before from primary school age and one was already semi pro soloist, prom was a party in a posh frock, which they got. They did each other's hair and makeup when it was their time as they did for performing

My DD wasn't a promzilla, but she did enjoy having a lot done and bought.
Dress, shoes, hair, nails, tan etc all quite costly.
I wanted her to have a great time- she had worked really hard to overcome speech problems and shyness thoughout school, but by the last year had overcome her challenges, was head girl at her very large school- so had to give a speech at the prom event -dance captain at her dance school and was accepted into university. It was a celebration of her achievements and worth every penny too make her feel special.

Dd is more how you describe boys