Finger in bum

[Scentedstock]

Is it me or are men becoming increasingly pornsick?

I met a man yesterday for drinks and decided to go back to mines. I was sexually attracted to him, felt safe but knew a relationship would not be on the cards (incompatible). I was horny so went ahead for shag - something about the summer heat.

Sex was great - hot and steamy BUT during the heat of it all he put his finger in my bum. No discussion. I asked him about it and he said ‘woman like it - do you want me to stop?’ To which he immediately did.

is it just me or are men becoming increasingly blatant with these porn type moves when you have only just met? Maybe I am naive. AIBU to feel men should stop pulling these weird moves during a fling. It just seems to expected now a days. I just want a bit of missionary and a glass of wine to liven up my weekend - not feel like an extra in a porn movie.

Woman like it?! He ordered you to like it? Or do you mean women like it? Either way what an absolute arsehole of epic proportions!

Get rid immediately

No pun intended! 🤦🏼‍♀️ Crikey!

I don’t think the blokes unreasonable to think that someone who likes to shag on a first date might want something a bit more than vanilla sex to be honest.

Really?

Got to laugh at those so stuck in the 90s they think vanilla is a relevant term. Yikes

You'll get women on here telling you this is normal and you have vanilla tastes 🙄

Ignore them. I can't believe how some men feel they can do anything they want to a woman's body. You're right though, it is this porn soaked society.

I despair.

Haha. I x-posted with someone who put it. So predictable. Didn't think it would be that quick though!

I just want a bit of missionary and a glass of wine to liven up my weekend

I want this on a t shirt. Bloody brilliant!

I find it a bit weird that you're criticising a man for doing a sexual act when you've only just met when you're....having intercourse with a man you've only just met.

How is he supposed to know where the line is?!

@Smileyaxolotl1 what a weird and judgemental comment. Why would someone who enjoys casual sex necessarily want to engage in something they hadn’t consented to?

@Scentedstock he was completely wrong to do it without asking. It’s up there with slapping or not using a condom - fine between consenting adults but you check the person’s preferences.

The fact he didn’t apologise and tried to tell you what you should like is shocking. Yes, SOME women like a finger in the bum. SOME men like to be peed on, does that mean you should have gone ahead and done it without checking?

Most people don't like things stuck in their orifices without consent, I would think. He needs to work on his understanding of consent very quickly. I don't think that's a new problem with some men, though.

I would’ve thought it a bit weird and uncomfortable too.
but, fair play to him. You said no and he stopped. Small mercies I suppose. But that is the risk of a shag before you know each other properly. In an ideal world I would’ve discussed it first, but that would’ve killed the mood

By asking?

@pixie5121 by asking. That's how consent works. It's not hard.

@pixie5121 perhaps by asking?

Oh my word. The attitude from people on here basically slut shaming the OP, is disgusting.

Jesus, the slut-shaming on here!

Am assuming the 14% (correct at time of posting) are the ones judging OP rather than the bloke, shame on you lot, may you never be left feeling like someone has crossed your line 🙄

Some women do like it, but I highly doubt most would be expecting anal play on a first shag tbh!

She consented to his penis in her vagina, that doesn't automatically give him access to every other orifice, they all require consent.

Something men would suddenly understand a whole lot better if you suddenly pushed something up their urethra under the guise of 'some men like it'

OP, I think you have a point about porn having an effect on a lot of men (and no doubt women too) to do stuff like this. It was completely unacceptable for him to do that without your consent.

the judgement about sex on a first date/casual sex and the term “vanilla” in relation to sex is fucking tiresome.

I'm not sure respect is anything to do with it, he's just a shit lover and assumes everyone likes fingers up bums

What?

What a disgusting thing to say.

By asking. OP had, presumably, given enthusiastic consent to PIV sex. That’s not a boilerplate sign-off on all and any sex acts: “Sorry, love, because you signed here under vagina, see clause 4, any and all orifices are now fair game for penetration.” Yes to one type of sex does not mean yes to all types of sex.