Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be proud of how I dealt with this? TW indecent exposure.

234 replies

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:31

Today I had walked my puppy and she'd settled and fallen asleep so I took advantage of the moment (if I'd headed home she be doing puppy parkour and I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the important Mumsnet daily chores.

A car pulled up and parked in the other side of the car park and a mid 20s male got out and started wandering around as though waiting for someone. I did the obvious and didn't make eye contact but I was aware of his presence, and he of mine.

After a short while he moved his car alongside to mine, facing the same way, I thought nothing of it as he'd moved it from a sunny space to a shaded spot.

He then was hanging around the front of his car I thought still waiting to be joined by someone.

Realisation dawned and he's there stroking his penis.

I immediately put phone into record mode and started filming him, sadly I didn't catch the act.

He jumped in his car and gesticulated "what's your issue" at me.

I wound down the window and asked him if he enjoyed intimidating women.

"I was only having a piss"

"no no you were stroking it"

"I didn't know you were in there"

"yes you did, you really did"

"you've got black out windows"

"only on the back, you knew full well I was there"

"I was only having a piss"

"you were doing it deliberately, it's all on dash cam and on this recording - old women don't stand for this shit these days"

He then sped off. And I stopped recording.

I followed him, absolutely raging. No idea what I hoped to achieve but the adrenalin was flowing.

I caught up with him at some lights but lost him after he did and illegal turn after he spotted me.

While at the lights I'd pulled badly over a keep clear area to keep up with him, and a woman trying to get into McDonald's gave me the eyebrow, so I rolled down the window and told her I was following a man who'd just flashed at me. She understood.

I've had lots of glorious puppy cuddles and feel like it's not even going to affect my well being for more than a moment of time, though his face and hairless groin keeps flitting into my consciousness.

I'm at the hairdressers atm, I'll call 101 asaic. His car is taxed, mot-ed and insured so he's likely to be traced, if the police decide to investigate.

Not really sure why I'm posting here but I'm so fucking proud of how I feel. Angry, amused(the old women comment still giving me the chortle), proud that it hasn't
affected my mental state like the previous 4 similar incidents, which left me scared and anxious.

So AIBU to be proud of not letting this gutter critter intimidate me?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 08/06/2022 13:36

I'm glad he didn't get to you. He needs reporting definitely.

gamerchick · 08/06/2022 13:38

But you're U for driving the way you did to keep up with him. Although I understood why you did it.

Ducksinthebath · 08/06/2022 13:41

What were you hoping to get out of pursuing him in the car?

Ponoka7 · 08/06/2022 13:42

You had not business following him. It didn't add to your reporting it, but could have caused an accident. You'd have been better reporting it straight away.

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:43

Thr only thing I did was have about a metre of my car over Keep Clear paint. I think it's probably bad practice rather than illegal.

And I regret that.

Though it gave me a moment of solidarity with another woman, so I think that helped a bit too.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 08/06/2022 13:44

Love it. Well done op. Hope the twat thinks twice about his shitty behaviour!

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:44

Ducksinthebath · 08/06/2022 13:41

What were you hoping to get out of pursuing him in the car?

No idea. I didn't speed or drive badly. Just made a choice to go home one way rather than the other as I thought it'd be the most likely route he would have taken.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 08/06/2022 13:45

Please do report it. Men like that only increase their offending behaviour over time.

Blossomtoes · 08/06/2022 13:45

Good for you @205wanker. Ignore the pp trying to detract from what you did. I’m proud of you.

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:46

Ponoka7 · 08/06/2022 13:42

You had not business following him. It didn't add to your reporting it, but could have caused an accident. You'd have been better reporting it straight away.

Please explain to me how following Coukd have caused an accident.

And reporting it straightaway wasn't feasible. Is he less likely to be caught if I wait 3 hours? I hope not.

OP posts:
205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:49

Blossomtoes · 08/06/2022 13:45

Good for you @205wanker. Ignore the pp trying to detract from what you did. I’m proud of you.

I find the questioning of minor details in my OP very odd. But yes, you're right it's a detraction. Sigh,

I've got three daughters, I would have hated it to happen to them.

Maybe my reaction, and hopefully police reaction will make him think twice before doing it again.

OP posts:
205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:50

jeaux90 · 08/06/2022 13:45

Please do report it. Men like that only increase their offending behaviour over time.

Will do, will phone 101 in a bit.

OP posts:
205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:50

Or 111.

Whichever. Grin

OP posts:
Ducksinthebath · 08/06/2022 13:51

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:46

Please explain to me how following Coukd have caused an accident.

And reporting it straightaway wasn't feasible. Is he less likely to be caught if I wait 3 hours? I hope not.

Please explain? Well, you following him resulted in him doing an illegal manoeuvre. Manoeuvres are generally illegal because they might compromise safety. Had anyone been injured it would be as a result of you following him which is ultimately a result of his shitty behaviour.

He might have pulled over and got out and walloped you. Anything could have happened.

The point people are making is that you took a role the police normally have - for good reason - i.e. pursuit/surveillance, with no real need and to no real purpose. Apart from feeling better in yourself because of some solidarity you perceived from a passer by.

CustardySergeant · 08/06/2022 13:51

I think it's bizarre that you followed him. If someone flashed at me, the very last thing I'd do is chase after him! He'd be thinking that I liked what I saw!

CustardySergeant · 08/06/2022 13:53

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:50

Or 111.

Whichever. Grin

No, you were right the first time. It's 101.

AngelinaFangelina · 08/06/2022 13:54

Well done OP. I bet he wasn't expecting that reaction, hopefully he's at home absolutely shitting himself, especially if and when the Police go round. Sick to death of disgusting perverts like this, I've had a few through the years. One man used to expose himself to women working on the checkouts at the supermarket where I worked in HR. Would walk up to pay for items with his penis hanging from the zip. I've been flashed twice, once horse riding and once in a multistory car park with my friends after a night out. Awful. Hope you are OK.

JemimaHumdrum · 08/06/2022 13:54

Well done OP, and I’m glad you followed him, the snivelling little shit. Bet you scared the life out of him 😆

HollowTalk · 08/06/2022 13:55

I think filming him and taking his reg no was all you should have done. I wouldn't have followed him anywhere - you might have been driving well but if he was panicking he could have caused an accident.

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:56

**
Well, you following him resulted in him doing an illegal manoeuvre**
*
For all he knew I could have been travelling in the sand direction as him.

And illegality was on his behalf.

OP posts:
205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:56

Any illegality...

OP posts:
205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:57

Same direction...

Excuse the cross typoing

OP posts:
JemimaHumdrum · 08/06/2022 13:57

CustardySergeant · 08/06/2022 13:51

I think it's bizarre that you followed him. If someone flashed at me, the very last thing I'd do is chase after him! He'd be thinking that I liked what I saw!

The thing is they get off on you being scared, they expect you to scream and run away. OP gave him the shock of his life by not behaving how he wanted. I bet he is sitting at home scared stiff.

Sirius3030 · 08/06/2022 13:59

JemimaHumdrum · 08/06/2022 13:54

Well done OP, and I’m glad you followed him, the snivelling little shit. Bet you scared the life out of him 😆

Completely agree!!

Pennox · 08/06/2022 13:59

This is what Wayne Couzens was doing the week or two before he murderer Sarah Everard. Well done OP, perhaps it will make him thibk twice about escalating his behaviour, as they always do when they get away with it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread