Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be proud of how I dealt with this? TW indecent exposure.

234 replies

205wanker · 08/06/2022 13:31

Today I had walked my puppy and she'd settled and fallen asleep so I took advantage of the moment (if I'd headed home she be doing puppy parkour and I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the important Mumsnet daily chores.

A car pulled up and parked in the other side of the car park and a mid 20s male got out and started wandering around as though waiting for someone. I did the obvious and didn't make eye contact but I was aware of his presence, and he of mine.

After a short while he moved his car alongside to mine, facing the same way, I thought nothing of it as he'd moved it from a sunny space to a shaded spot.

He then was hanging around the front of his car I thought still waiting to be joined by someone.

Realisation dawned and he's there stroking his penis.

I immediately put phone into record mode and started filming him, sadly I didn't catch the act.

He jumped in his car and gesticulated "what's your issue" at me.

I wound down the window and asked him if he enjoyed intimidating women.

"I was only having a piss"

"no no you were stroking it"

"I didn't know you were in there"

"yes you did, you really did"

"you've got black out windows"

"only on the back, you knew full well I was there"

"I was only having a piss"

"you were doing it deliberately, it's all on dash cam and on this recording - old women don't stand for this shit these days"

He then sped off. And I stopped recording.

I followed him, absolutely raging. No idea what I hoped to achieve but the adrenalin was flowing.

I caught up with him at some lights but lost him after he did and illegal turn after he spotted me.

While at the lights I'd pulled badly over a keep clear area to keep up with him, and a woman trying to get into McDonald's gave me the eyebrow, so I rolled down the window and told her I was following a man who'd just flashed at me. She understood.

I've had lots of glorious puppy cuddles and feel like it's not even going to affect my well being for more than a moment of time, though his face and hairless groin keeps flitting into my consciousness.

I'm at the hairdressers atm, I'll call 101 asaic. His car is taxed, mot-ed and insured so he's likely to be traced, if the police decide to investigate.

Not really sure why I'm posting here but I'm so fucking proud of how I feel. Angry, amused(the old women comment still giving me the chortle), proud that it hasn't
affected my mental state like the previous 4 similar incidents, which left me scared and anxious.

So AIBU to be proud of not letting this gutter critter intimidate me?

OP posts:
Jobseeker19 · 08/06/2022 16:36

SAB50 · 08/06/2022 14:48

This makes me think of the first time I ever got flashed - I was about 15 and gardening with my mum some way from the house. This guy came out of the bushes by the garden and started wanking with a weird threatening look on his face. My mum and I burst out laughing and mum then threw a rock at him and yelled at him to fuck off (still laughing ha!). It didn't hit him but I've never seen a man look so deflated 😅

Well done OP! As others have said, they get off on fear.

I know its not funny but you made me crack up.
Threatening wank face lol

MsTSwift · 08/06/2022 16:37

Good for you op. Meekly ignoring it hasn’t really worked for us women has it ? 🙄 I was flashed at repeatedly in my teens I’m 47 now and still young women being flashed. if these perves know they might get a mental erratic response that threatens their personal safety so much the better.

BridasShieldWall · 08/06/2022 16:40

Well done OP I hope the police do something about it.

I find it depressing how many posts on here start with, ‘I was first flashed at 15/7….’ How awful is it that women and girls can’t even do simple things like be in their own garden or a supermarket without some man sexually assaulting them. So fucking fed up with this.

Usernumber1squillion · 08/06/2022 16:41

Another saying well done op, I doubt the police will do more than have a word with him but hopefully that combined with your unexpected behaviour will prevent him from doing it again in future.

crochetmonkey74 · 08/06/2022 16:43

Well done MN you never let us done- man has done a SEXUAL OFFENCE first posts are criticising the woman's response to it

crochetmonkey74 · 08/06/2022 16:43

*down

FOJN · 08/06/2022 16:45

Well done OP, please report him. Women are sick of this shit.

Of course you only followed him to get his registration number 😉. I sincerely hope he is at home shitting himself, he deserves to be and with any luck he'll be charged.

barbrahunter · 08/06/2022 17:05

Good for you OP, I'm another one sick of the shit that some men do.

RaisingAgent · 08/06/2022 17:05

Thank you very much OP for standing up to him, I'm not suggesting everyone could or should in that situation, but I feel very grateful on behalf of myself and my DD that you did. I hope you are still feeling ok now, and I really hope the police take it seriously and arrest him.

SingingSands · 08/06/2022 17:11

Good for you OP. I hope the police take your report seriously and follow up.

I'd have done the same. I chased the burglar who broke into our house. It's a fight or flight response and on that occasion I was a "fight" responder.

SpeckledlyHen · 08/06/2022 17:17

Ducksinthebath · 08/06/2022 13:41

What were you hoping to get out of pursuing him in the car?

Did you not read the OP? She quite clearly states she didn't know what she was trying to get out of it or achieve..

I followed him, absolutely raging. No idea what I hoped to achieve but the adrenalin was flowing.

Clangyleg · 08/06/2022 17:21

Yes we all need to stand up to this shits of men. When we know the police have not taken action, eg re Sarah Everards killer, we have to take action. Well done OP. But yes report him too.

AuntyPonsonby · 08/06/2022 17:24

This sounds like a (very badly) misjudged attempt at dogging on his part.

Sunflower987 · 08/06/2022 17:27

crochetmonkey74 · 08/06/2022 16:43

Well done MN you never let us done- man has done a SEXUAL OFFENCE first posts are criticising the woman's response to it

I thought the same.

Well done OP.
What a vile man.

FAQs · 08/06/2022 17:29

@205wanker well done!! He is hopefully shitting himself now.

I was flashed once and my barking dog ran after after him, he pale arse panicking running away whilst pulling his trousers up, was quite a sight!

FAQs · 08/06/2022 17:30

crochetmonkey74 · 08/06/2022 16:43

Well done MN you never let us done- man has done a SEXUAL OFFENCE first posts are criticising the woman's response to it

👍👏 madness isn’t it!

Meraas · 08/06/2022 17:34

Well done, OP! Ignore the naysayers, they can’t stand assertive women.

Meraas · 08/06/2022 17:35

AuntyPonsonby · 08/06/2022 17:24

This sounds like a (very badly) misjudged attempt at dogging on his part.

No, it’s sexual harassment. Don’t minimise it.

AuntyPonsonby · 08/06/2022 17:37

Meraas · 08/06/2022 17:35

No, it’s sexual harassment. Don’t minimise it.

Well the two things are not mutually exclusive.

frogswimming · 08/06/2022 17:42

Dogging is watching other people having sex. She was on her own. So no. It's just common or garden flashing/wanking. Which many women have experienced. Don't make excuses for a sex offender.

205wanker · 08/06/2022 17:43

Well after 53 minutes waiting to get through on 101 and then 25 minutes regaling the incident, I'll be contacted within the next 2 to 3 days to talk through it and be given a Crime Reference.

@ForensicFlossy I think perhaps using the phone to record evidence rather than bein a queue police was the wiser option, don't you?

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 08/06/2022 17:44

MsTSwift · 08/06/2022 16:37

Good for you op. Meekly ignoring it hasn’t really worked for us women has it ? 🙄 I was flashed at repeatedly in my teens I’m 47 now and still young women being flashed. if these perves know they might get a mental erratic response that threatens their personal safety so much the better.

Totally agree with this!

can’t believe some posters are trying to penalise OP in this situation.

Stop being apologists for men’s shitty behaviour

Rinatinabina · 08/06/2022 17:45

Yeah people like this escalate over time. Good for you frankly.

AuntyPonsonby · 08/06/2022 17:46

frogswimming · 08/06/2022 17:42

Dogging is watching other people having sex. She was on her own. So no. It's just common or garden flashing/wanking. Which many women have experienced. Don't make excuses for a sex offender.

Sorry, that does absolutely sound like "attempted" dogging to me!

Dogging is the act of public sex in a secluded or semi-secluded location, where those engaging in it allow others to watch them and may encourage viewers to join in.

Why this possibility should be controversial I don't know. It's still a sexual offence.

frogswimming · 08/06/2022 17:48

The op wasn't having public sex waiting for someone to watch. The man was wanking on his own unprompted. You could say all flashing / wanking is dogging on that basis!