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AIBU?

Dad in women's loo .

1000 replies

HappyDays40 · 04/06/2022 14:02

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here.
He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Barleysugar86 · 04/06/2022 14:05

I get your point, and yes he probably should have waited outside. But personally it wouldn't have bothered me. It's not like he's able to see anything when people are in the stalls. I think young girls seeing men using the urinals feels more off.

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LaBellina · 04/06/2022 14:08

I think a few years ago this wouldn’t have happened so easily but these days more and more men feel entitled to invade women’s spaces. If he didn’t want to take them to the men’s, he could have waited outside the door (as many mums do when their boys are too old or no longer want to go to the ladies).

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ChiselandBits · 04/06/2022 14:09

at 4 and 6 they are a bit young to go in alone and given the mens' will have open urinals I can see his dilemma. Its a Macdonald's loo not a changing room - can adult women really not cope with a man who is obviously in charge of young girls and cares about their welfare being in there for a few minutes? Ideally there would be a family room or accessible loo but if he'd used that he no doubt would also be in the wrong.

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VaddaABeetch · 04/06/2022 14:09

Maybe he’a really a woman?

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Discovereads · 04/06/2022 14:12

This would not have bothered me as the 4yr old is too young to be expected to go on her own without a parent on hand to help. And if mum isn’t around, what else is a dad to do? I disagree completely that he should have taken them into the mens room because mens rooms have urinals so little girls would be seeing mens penises. At least in a womens room it is all cubicles so there is more privacy for everyone concerned.

If you want to blame anyone or complain, complain about there being no family toilet in the venue instead of calling a Dad raising two young daughters an “intrusive fucker”.

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Gizacluethen · 04/06/2022 14:13

He wasn't watching you piss, he was making sure his daughters were safe. What are dad's supposed to do when their daughters need the toilet? You can't send little kids in alone, he can't take them into the men's where there are men stood at urinals. He did the right thing.

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DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 04/06/2022 14:14

I liked the set up I saw recently on a trip to Amsterdam - Women’s loo, Men’s loo, Family loo. Family loo cubicles big enough for an adult (of either sex) and at least a couple of kids. There were plenty of Dads in there (alone) with their children, way more than I’ve noticed out and about in the U.K. - which may or may not be connected to the fact there were appropriate facilities for them.

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ferneytorro · 04/06/2022 14:16

I was in a tourist attraction abroad, double checked I was in the right toilets, started to wee and a man came in. I know this as he was on his phone and chatted the entire time (dirty sod). I initially thought am I in the right loo but surely the lack of urinals may have altered him . I had a very hurried wee then shot to the door to check I was in the right ones yes picture of a woman in a frock and sign saying Damen.
now he came out and did have the good grace to say sorry in German so probably a mistake but I was really unnerved by it, not least as it was down a load of steps and there was no one else in the toilets. I was surprised how nervous I was.

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jubileetrain · 04/06/2022 14:17

I'm surprised people are ok with this. Women's toilets are for women. There is no place for a man in them. Oh the entitled 'what is he supposed to do with his DDs?' - not remotely any woman's problem.

Personally I use the disabled toilet so it wouldn't affect me, but there are so many women out there who would be upset by this.

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Furrbabymama87 · 04/06/2022 14:17

It's inappropriate. He couldn't see you on the toilet and it's unlikely anything would have happened but it just makes it OK for random men to start invading women's spaces and where does it end?

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jubileetrain · 04/06/2022 14:17

VaddaABeetch · 04/06/2022 14:09

Maybe he’a really a woman?

You don't have to make it a 'trans' issue where it isn't one. It was a man.

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Nap1983 · 04/06/2022 14:17

Bit of an overreaction to a dad looking after his daughters….

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jubileetrain · 04/06/2022 14:18

Posted too soon. A man with children beinf a dad. OP has said nothing to suggest he is identifying otherwise

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Nothappyatwork · 04/06/2022 14:18

In that scenario I think he would’ve been justified using the disable toilet providing nobody else needed it.

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coffeecupsandfairylights · 04/06/2022 14:18

I actually can't get worked up about this. I wouldn't want a 4yo girl being taken into the mens rooms where men have their penises out while they use the urinals, and she's just a bit too young to be left to use a public toilet on her own.

Assuming there were no baby/parent toilets, I understand why the dad made the decision he did.

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Dogsandbabies · 04/06/2022 14:18

He can't take two young girls into the mens. If there was no family toilet he did the right thing.

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KarrotKake · 04/06/2022 14:18

Men should not be in the women's toilet.
The girls should have gone alone, or into the men's.
There are various women who would be totally intimidated by it, and they shouldn't feel threatened in what should be a female only space.

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jubileetrain · 04/06/2022 14:19

Also the posters who would not be bothered or can't get worked up over it, you are very very lucky to feel so

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Bebbanburg · 04/06/2022 14:19

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CounsellorTroi · 04/06/2022 14:19

I know this as he was on his phone and chatted the entire time (dirty sod).

I used a motorway service station loo a couple of weeks back, there was a woman in the next cubicle down chatting loudly on her phone.

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jubileetrain · 04/06/2022 14:20

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There is no need. Carry wipes and give the seat a wipe Hmm

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Rosebel · 04/06/2022 14:21

I would be pretty annoyed if my DH had my DDs on his own and took them in to the men's room.
He wasn't in the cubicle with you and was making sure his young DDs were safe. Did you really expect him to wait outside the ladies room for his 4 year old?
Not sure what you expected the member of staff to do either?!

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Furrbabymama87 · 04/06/2022 14:21

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Using women's toilet isn't the answer. You're weird if you think you have the right.

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Discovereads · 04/06/2022 14:22

jubileetrain · 04/06/2022 14:19

Also the posters who would not be bothered or can't get worked up over it, you are very very lucky to feel so

Whatever. Luck has nothing to do with realising that the needs of children, in this case, two little girls come before any woman’s “feelings”.

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SageCardy · 04/06/2022 14:22

I wouldn't personally be upset by this, and I absolutely think there should be 'family' loos, specifically for this purpose.

But until they do exist everywhere, the default should not be that it's acceptable for men to be in women's toilets. They should always be safe spaces where women and girls can be sure that they can meet their needs without seeing or hearing men close by.

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