Dad in women's loo .

[HappyDays40]

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here.
He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

[lancsgirl85]

What I think he should have done (as my dad used to) was wait outside the ladies until a women with kids went in and then asked her to help the 4 year old

What if the poor little girl was desperate and couldn't wait? Totally unreasonable.


Besides probability that a dad with his 4 and 6yr old little girls by his side would attack a woman in the loo is well fucking zero.

Agreed.

[Mally100]

@PutinIsAWarCriminal

At 4 and 6 they are old enough to go to the toilet alone with him waiting at the door. How does he think they cope at school?

At school there aren't adults sharing with them don't be daft. And this was not their familiar place so I would definitely think their safety comes first. Given there's men identifying as women, I would not send kids of those ages in to a public bathroom alone.

[JustTheOneSwan]

@Babdoc

When my DC were young, thirty years ago, a dad with young daughters would ask a nearby mother to take his DD into the Ladies, while he waited outside. It was a fairly rare event, as dads then were less likely to be divorced and on their own with a young child, but they wouldn’t have dreamed of intruding in the women’s loos themselves.

Same.
I wonder why that's no longer an option.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Had the same experience at a public convenience in Windermere once. He acted as if he owned the place.

YANBU OP

[jubileetrain]

@Discovereads

Please, you know nothing about the trauma I have suffered. I’m just an adult and won’t use past trauma as an excuse to punish two innocent little girls who need to use a toilet.
My pu are right, I don't know anything about your past trauma, but I'd say if it's an option then you don't understand others.

[Rosebel]

@AnneElliott

I personally wouldn't have an issue with the dad in this scenario but I understand why some people would. So no, he shouldn't have been in there as some women would have had issues with it.

We do need better family toilets in this country. What I think he should have done (as my dad used to) was wait outside the ladies until a women with kids went in and then asked her to help the 4 year old. I'd have no issue helping a small child use the loo if I was taking mine there already.

I wouldn't want some random woman helping my child. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's safe.

[ThatsALotOfPassionfruit]

My DH takes my DD into the mens. Men weeing at a urinal don’t have their knobs flapping about for everyone to look at. You can’t see anything!

if the toilets are that disgusting she can’t sit down then he’ll take her into the disabled but in all honesty that’s a very rare event.

I don’t think a man should be in the ladies toilet for any reason.

[Peoniesandpeaches]

@jubileetrain

Also the posters who would not be bothered or can't get worked up over it, you are very very lucky to feel so

You know there are people who have been raped or sexually assaulted who still wouldn’t be bothered by a man trying to ensure his little girls could use the toilet safely. It’s beyond insulting that on this site you are constantly told that if you don’t have an issue with something you are somehow privileged and with no life experience.

[User487216]

YABU, he was looking after his daughters

[caringcarer]

He should not be in female toilets under any circumstances. Women with small boys wait outside men's loo. Young girls of 5 or 6 use female toilet on their own and they sometimes don't close/lock doors. I would not want a stray man in female toilets for that reason.

[coffeecupsandfairylights]

@jubileetrain

Also the posters who would not be bothered or can't get worked up over it, you are very very lucky to feel so

No, I just think children have the right to feel safe and secure when they use the toilet and their feelings are more important than mine in that respect.

It's totally inappropriate for a 4yo girl to walk past a row of adult men using urinals, so if there's no disabled/family loo, they should be in the ladies loos. The dad was just waiting by the sinks - not peering under the doors!

[cathcath2]

This should not be the default position. Unless his girls have additional needs, they manage perfectly well in school five days a week. Do parents honestly think we go into the toilets with the pupils? Yes, we help them if they get themselves in a state but otherwise they manage. He probably could have waited outside the door.

[mumwon]

there is only one solution to this issue - all toilets need to be room cubicles with sinks (some do this successfully already ( with separate urinal space in another section) the area in front where the access is needs to be an open corridor space (urinal room area entry first so men will rush into urinals first before accessing main bit)
They have had this in Cambridge Botanic Gardens for years
Oh & plenty of frequent cleaners to clean up any drips from the drips

[mrsfoof]

@PutinIsAWarCriminal

At 4 and 6 they are old enough to go to the toilet alone with him waiting at the door. How does he think they cope at school?

Presumably at school they will only have to worry about other children of a similar age. I'm not sure I'd want my young daughters going to the loo unsupervised in McDonalds where there may be teenagers up to no good or unsavoury women in there. The toilets may be dirty or there might be discarded san pro that would be unhygienic for them to deal with.

It wouldn't personally bother me having a man accompany his girls into the ladies' loos.

[Quincythequince]

@Furrbabymama87

It's inappropriate. He couldn't see you on the toilet and it's unlikely anything would have happened but it just makes it OK for random men to start invading women's spaces and where does it end?

This. Completely.
Where does it stop?

[mommandme]

Sorry, but no he should not have been there. We do need better loos situation, like family loos.

It's not just intruding into women's spaces, but it's also invading for women of other religions who culturally cannot mix with men in such places. It means women cannot fix their hijab or access loos if there's a risk men will be there. And of course there are also women who are survivors of sexual assault too.

There's a reason why women are entitled to separate loos for their safety, their privacy and dignity. No man has the right to trump that just because he feels like it.

[maythe4thbewithme]

I'd rather my DH take my daughters in the ladies loo than the mens. Fair enough if he was clearly lurking on his own...but he wasn't he was with two young girls. Not everyone man is a sexual predator

[Quincythequince]

@mrsfoof

Presumably at school they will only have to worry about other children of a similar age. I'm not sure I'd want my young daughters going to the loo unsupervised in McDonalds where there may be teenagers up to no good or unsavoury women in there. The toilets may be dirty or there might be discarded san pro that would be unhygienic for them to deal with.

It wouldn't personally bother me having a man accompany his girls into the ladies' loos.

It should bother you because it’s a single-sex space and he shouldn’t be in there.
He is breaking the law.
And just because you’re ok with men invading our SSS, doesn’t mean other women are

Why are their views less important.

[lancsgirl85]

Unless his girls have additional needs, they manage perfectly well in school five days a week.

It's a pretty safe bet that in a school there won't strangers who mean them harm lurking in the loos. With a public place you literally have no idea who could be in there.

[tootiredtoocare]

Were you peeing in the sink in full view of everyone? No, you were in a cubicle with the door closed, no one can see. He is absolutely entitled to make certain his little girls are safe going to the toilet, and his little girls should not be in a men's toilet where men have their penises out at their head height!!! Yes, I'm going to use it - not all men are criminals. Not all men live their lives with the main aim of sexually assaulting women. The vast, vast, majority of men are decent people just going about their lives, and we can not blame all men for the very very few who have hurt us in the past. He's being a good dad and all you see is a potential rapist. 🙄

[Quincythequince]

@lancsgirl85

Unless his girls have additional needs, they manage perfectly well in school five days a week.

It's a pretty safe bet that in a school there won't strangers who mean them harm lurking in the loos. With a public place you literally have no idea who could be in there.

Fair enough.
Then if it’s solely about being accompanied by a responsible adult, he can take them into a cubicle in the mens.

[Nothappyatwork]

@JustTheOneSwan

Same.
I wonder why that's no longer an option.

Because all trust in strangers is gone whether that’s right or wrong I don’t know but that’s how it is.
30 years ago when my dad used to take me and my sister to the toilet he used to use a handkerchief to cover one of our eyes and bury the other one’s face into his shoulder carrying her so that we saw nothing, we held our noses and we went to the men’s although in all honesty if we just needed a wee in the park he’d probably felt more confident taking us round the corner to the bush.

[ZebraScarf]

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet.

If he was just standing waiting (as opposed to actually helping/supporting) then he could have done that from outside the women's toilets.

[MarvellousMay]

I don’t think a man should be in the ladies toilet for any reason
Agreed.
He should wait outside if he insists they don’t go in the mens.

[jubileetrain]

@Peoniesandpeaches

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult anyone. I hadn't really thought of that and you are right. I still think men shouldn't be in there because some women are affected and would be bothered, but I take on board your point about insulting others. Apologies again.